Talking to someone on the train, bus or subway can be risky but exciting, because you never know when your interlocutor will get off. In these cases, it is fun to relate to others because the expectations are quite low and you can easily start and stop the conversation (or even get off, if the situation gets complicated). Start by getting someone's attention and strike up a conversation. If you see participation on his part, continue! You will be able to meet new people and, perhaps, make a friendship.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Get Someone's Attention
Step 1. Make eye contact
By taking a quick look at the person who intrigued you, you will show them interest and you will be able to understand if they are reciprocal. Look at it (without staring) for just a second or two. Notice how she reacts to eye contact - if she catches your eye, it's almost certainly a good sign. If she quickly diverts attention or seems disinterested, you probably don't want to try an approach.
- Try looking at it again after about 30 seconds. If he reciprocates, it means that he has noticed you and wants to interact with you.
- When making eye contact, keep your face relaxed and friendly, not serious and tense.
Step 2. Smile
If the other person also reacted favorably to your gaze, don't hesitate to smile at them. By hinting a sincere smile, you will give the impression of being a sociable, friendly and helpful type. If he reciprocates this time as well, you certainly won't have much difficulty establishing a dialogue.
If you're trying to flirt, a smile will help you get her attention. Try to put a pinch of mischief into it, perhaps showing a slight hesitation or tilting your head slightly
Step 3. Show openness with body language
Try to appear friendly, approachable, and casual. Avoid keeping your arms folded and turn your torso in his direction. Stand or sit with your back straight and assume correct posture. Do not cross your arms, do not bend over and do not turn your back to her, otherwise she will think she is facing a person withdrawn or not interested in making conversation.
Calculate the right distance. If you are too close, you may feel like you are invading their space. If you are too far away, you won't be able to get his attention or hear what he says
Step 4. Look at her body language to see if she is willing to interact
While your body language must communicate availability, it tries to interpret that of the other person. If he's open to you, that's a good sign. In other words, he shouldn't cross his arms or cross his legs, but turn in your direction. It should feel relaxed and not stiff or uncomfortable. If he turns his back on you or stands with his head bowed over a book, newspaper or magazine, don't think he wants to talk to you.
Notice if your torso or knees are facing you, as this position may suggest curiosity about you. If he's looking out the window or has his back to you, don't attempt any approach
Step 5. Try to speak
Once you've watched her to see if she's interested in chatting with you, take the initiative. If you are far away, get closer. You should keep a reasonable distance that allows each to hear the other's voice, without the risk of feeling uncomfortable if the conversation does not evolve. Find a seat next to her, avoiding invading her space.
- If you are standing, get close enough to be able to talk to her, but not close enough to be indiscreet.
- If there is an empty seat next to her, ask: "Can I sit here?".
- Try not to get upset. You may get nervous about chatting with a stranger.
Step 6. Avoid bothering
Be careful when you want to interact with someone who is reading a book or newspaper, writing something on their cell phone, or listening to music with headphones. Often those who do not wish to be disturbed use these devices. However, you may want to comment on the book he is reading if you know it. Take a quick observation and notice how he responds.
For example, if he thanked you laconically and read back, get the message and forget it. However, if she looks up and feels like she wants to talk, don't hesitate to have a nice conversation
Part 2 of 3: Finding an Insight to Talk
Step 1. Begin the conversation with an open-ended question
It's a great way to strike up a button, but be careful to pick the right one. The most suitable are those that involve a free answer, which goes beyond a simple "yes" or "no". It doesn't really matter what you ask, as long as it's not intrusive, offensive, or indiscreet.
- For example, get practical and ask, "How do I get downtown?" instead of "Does this bus stop in the central area of the city?".
- If you notice that she has a book in her hand and you know the author, try saying: "She is an extraordinary writer. What other books have you read?".
- Once storage has begun, it could continue very naturally.
Step 2. Interact by bringing up trivial topics
You could start by saying how crowded (or empty) the bus is, commenting on the weather, or talking about how far the journey between home and office is. Even if it's just a matter of fact, it helps you break the ice and establish communication. That way you might even get to strike up a real conversation.
For example, say, "How are you coping with the heat? It's really hellish!"
Step 3. Give a compliment if you notice something you like
Maybe this person is wearing a t-shirt from one of your favorite bands or has a nice smartphone case. She is probably very attractive and you want to tell her she has nice eyes or a great smile. Open up the conversation by complimenting her outward appearance. This will put her at ease.
For example, you might say, "I'm sorry, I just wanted to tell you that you have a nice smile" or "You have great taste in music. I like your shirt!"
Step 4. Talk about yourself if you want to make her comfortable
Tell her something about you without being self-centered. You will show that you are open-minded and encourage her to do the same. Share small information without being too personal.
- If you can, connect with something about her. For example, you might say, "You have great earrings. I love costume jewelry, like the ring I'm wearing today."
- However, avoid putting yourself in the center of attention. If she seems interested in what you are saying, ask a question, such as: "This is the first time I get on a train. Do you take it often or is it the first time for you too?".
Part 3 of 3: Continue and End the Conversation
Step 1. Keep talking until the other person shows interest
Listen carefully as they reply to your comments or answer your questions and move on. If there is involvement, the conversation will likely proceed naturally. Do not interrupt the dialogue, but ask appropriate questions and deepen your knowledge. Notice if there is an exchange.
For example, ask where he comes from and what he does, but also if he often takes the bus or train
Step 2. Look for the signs
Keep an eye on the other person to see if the conversation is stimulating them. If she asks you something, answers your questions and seems interested in talking, it means there are no problems. Keep watching your body language and eye contact to see how involved you are.
- If he begins to fall silent, look away, or give laconic answers, end the conversation and give thanks.
- If it seems unresponsive, you may want to quit and not insist. Don't bother her if she doesn't want to chat.
Step 3. Ask for her phone number if you want to talk to her again
If you've had a nice conversation and would like to see her again or call her, ask her for her phone number before either of you gets off. Express interest in her and let her know that you would like to learn more about her.
- You might say, "It was really nice meeting you. I'd like to see you again. Can I have your number?"
- Be clear about your intentions. If you intend to win her over, ask her for a date. If you just like her, explain that you would like to make a friendship.
Step 4. Resume what you were doing if it seems bored or not very involved
As soon as you get the impression that he starts to get distracted or lose interest, you just dull the conversation. You can stop it or go back to what you were doing before you started talking. There are those who like to chat but don't want to go any further. Respect the privacy of others without insisting.
