Have you decided to meet new people, but are you too shy or don't know how to make the first move? Have you noticed someone interesting and would like to chat with them? Here are some tips on how to break the ice!
Steps
Method 1 of 4: Part 1: Chat at a Party or Club
Step 1. Be natural
Everyone is in the mood to spend some pleasant time, unless they are wearing a T-shirt that says "" Don't even think about invading my personal space! "". The person you want to interact with probably feels exactly like you!
Step 2. Meet his gaze
If possible, try to make eye contact. If you can, that's a great start. Smile invitingly, and go towards your goal.
If you can't catch his eye, approach him, gently tap him on the shoulder, as if you have to pass by where he is. If he's already having a conversation with someone, get by his side
Step 3. Say something
It doesn't really matter what you say, the important thing is to start the conversation. What really matters is how you say it. The important thing is to be sure of yourself, if you have the perfect excuse to start the conversation, go for it!
If you don't have it, try something more basic, like "Hi, I'm Marco" and shake his hand
Step 4. Get started simple
Talk about why you are at that party, ask what he brought there instead.
If the weather conditions are interesting, go ahead and hint, but don't overdo it. Conversations about the weather are usually short, boring, and make it clear that you don't have much to say
Step 5. Find out what your target cares about
What sports or hobbies are he passionate about? What courses do you follow or have followed, and with what results? - educational qualifications, work, etc.
Step 6. Listen
This is the key to good conversation. Being able to really listen to the other person and ask the right questions, on topics that interest the interlocutor. It's not only a great way to make conversation, but also a great way to make new friends !.
Step 7. Let the other person ask questions about you
Spontaneously offer information such as my name, or anything else that can help start the conversation, for example "Hi, my name is Marco. I would shake your hand, but I broke my arm while skiing last week."
If you find common interests - a sport, a passion for food, common political opinions, don't miss the opportunity, point it out! The goal is not to shut up, just avoid introducing yourself to a person for the sole purpose of talking about yourself
Method 2 of 4: Part 2: Chat in a Public Place
Step 1. Be selective
In public places, especially in large cities, people are often suspicious of strangers approaching smiling. Usually the first question that will come to their mind is "What will he want to sell me?". "What does he want? Will he want to rob me? Or convert to some strange religion?" Some of these questions, or perhaps all of them, may cross your mind as you approach your goal, so think before you act!
If it's someone you meet often - no matter where, during coffee breaks, on the subway or on the way from home to work - try to catch their eye again, without being too blatant (don't stare!). So smile in a friendly way, and keep doing what you have to do, as if nothing had happened. This - as long as you weren't playing with a butcher's cleaver looking at it - should put you in the "friendly people" category
Step 2. Make eye contact before approaching
In a public place, people are more suspicious if you get behind them or don't see you approaching, and you may be alarmed. By making your friendly intentions clear, you avoid creating tension.
Save your best introduction lines for the bar. Try a light, humorous, or quaint comment to break the ice. For example "Hi, my name is Anna. I work at the Zanzi Bar, I often see you around. Do you work nearby?" it's simple, direct, and open to a possible answer, which can range from "leave me alone" to "hi, I'm Luca! I always see you too. Would you like to sit down?"
Step 3. Ask why he also regularly visits that place
Chances are you have some common interests just waiting to be discovered! Ask questions to test the waters, and listen carefully to the answers.
Method 3 of 4: Part 3: Chatting on a Live Music Evening
Step 1. Make eye contact
Just like at a party or club, try to catch his eye, but if you can't, don't be afraid to walk straight to the person you're interested in to introduce yourself.
Step 2. Talk about the music
An excellent time to choose for the approach, is between the opening and the beginning of the actual concert. You can ask if he liked the opening band, and if he thinks it's a good match for the main band. It's also a great time because you won't have to scream to make yourself heard, or force your interlocutor to listen to you instead of the music they're there for!
Ask if he goes to many concerts, or is there for a special reason. He could be a music lover, or follow that specific band, or maybe personally know a member in one of the bands. There's a good chance he knows a lot about the band or bands they play, and wants to talk about it
Step 3. Ask questions about other genres of music
Find out what music he appreciates, musically, and what his favorite artists are. You could try with comments like "I think the guitarist is good, but I prefer the guitarist from Timpani Perforati".
Hold the critic within you. Gentle critique may be fine, but it can become overkill very easily and quickly if you come up with comments like "I think they rely too much on modal scales, especially the Phrygian harmonica and locri mode applied to otherwise slavish, modified pop. by loopers and flangers, they make them highly emblematic… "Don't worry, you won't have to finish your sentence. Your potential interlocutor will have already fallen asleep or will have fled in a flash
Method 4 of 4: Part 4: If It Doesn't Work
Step 1. Pay attention
Look for signs, some more obvious than others, that the conversation is going somewhere. If you don't find a connection, you will instinctively understand it. You will get monosyllabic responses like "Oh, hello." when you introduce yourself, or very superficial like "Not much", asking what is going on.
- If the person you want to talk to doesn't seem interested in talking to you, don't force them. It may be that it's a bad day, or he may just not want to talk to you.
- If he's clearly distracted, he's looking around like he's looking for something, you may have picked the wrong time to introduce yourself, or he's trying to make it clear that he wants to be left alone, without having to explicitly state that he is not interested in making conversation.
- If you perceive something similar, apologize, wish him a good continuation of the evening. So get up and don't insist.
- If you are still hoping to have a conversation with this person, it is best to wait until they seem in a better mood and not to insist if the time is wrong. The better his mood and appearance, the more likely he is to be successful next time you try an approach!
Step 2. Know when to withdraw
If nothing works, try it one day later. If you have a similar or even more hostile response, don't give it a third try. After two attempts, the person has a pretty clear idea that you are interested in chatting with them. Let him make the next move.
Advice
- A simple but effective way to start a conversation is to give a compliment and then ask a question, like "I like your top, where did you buy it?"
- If you talk to other teenagers (or other adults), they usually love to talk about music, sports, TV, celebrities, video games, favorite sites, etc.
- Always be well groomed and presentable. First impression is everything!
- Children love to talk about their games, video games, music, TV shows, food, etc.
Warnings
- If you choose to introduce yourself, use only your first name. Even if you have the best of intentions, the person you just met may not have them!
- Watch your body language. You don't want to start a conversation with someone who is angry or busy.
- Be polite, no vulgarity.
- Avoid sensitive topics, such as religion, politics, sex, philosophy, world problems, death, divorce, and other similar topics.
- Do not ask personal questions, such as "What is your address?". Instead, ask your interlocutor where he lives. So you allow him to be as specific or as detailed as he wants.
