Starting a conversation is probably one of the hardest parts of communication. You may have noticed that while talking to some people is very easy, with someone else you almost have to get the words out of their mouth. But fear not: there are some universal tricks that will help you strike up a conversation with anyone, as well as tips for getting started with certain people. If you want to know how to start an interesting conversation, simply follow the steps below.
Steps
Method 1 of 2: Attach Button with Anyone
Step 1. Let the person know you care
You can befriend a complete stranger simply by showing them that you care about what they have to say and that you value their opinion. If a person thinks you are just talking to hear the sound of your voice, they will immediately lose interest. Instead, lean forward towards this person and keep eye contact that's not too intense. Give her enough space, but show her that she has your full attention.
- Make this person feel that their thoughts are important. If he starts talking about a particular topic, ask questions instead of turning the conversation around something you want to talk about.
- Use the person's name once or twice after memorizing it.
- If the person speaks first, nod to show that you are listening.
Step 2. Ask questions but don't question her
Questions are needed to make the conversation interesting, but the person in question shouldn't feel like they are being interrogated by the police. Don't shoot questions without also giving your opinion or without reworking them with him or her. There is nothing worse than having the impression of undergoing a third degree. Asking too many questions will make the person uncomfortable and will try hard to leave the conversation.
- If you find yourself sounding too pushy, joke about it. Try saying, "Sorry, interview over", and start talking about something else.
- Ask her about her hobbies and interests, not her dreams and desires.
- Talk about something fun. Don't ask her what she thinks about the latest news story or how hard it is to make ends meet lately. Pick a pleasant topic, and the conversation itself will be pleasant.
- Remember to add yours, too. Ideally, you and the other person should talk for the same amount of time.
Step 3. Be fun
This doesn't mean you have to put on a show, but just make some jokes or tell some funny anecdotes to break the ice. You will be surprised how funny stories make people open up. Everyone loves to laugh, and laughing puts you at ease. It is an effective way to relax nervous people and make them talk.
- Use your sense of humor to get people's attention. Prove that you have an easy joke and that you can play puns, clever jokes, and respond to rhymes.
- If you know a hilarious story, use it, as long as it's short. Don't tell a long story you've never tried before or it will be counterproductive.
Step 4. Ask open-ended questions
Open-ended questions require more than just a yes / no to answer. This type of question allows people to elaborate, and this creates a conversation. With these questions you engage the person and fuel the conversation, which closed-ended questions don't.
- Make sure the questions are open enough. Do not ask the person what his opinion is on the meaning of life; rather ask how his favorite football team's championship is going.
- You should also understand when the conversation is not going well. If the person answers you in monosyllables even though the question might fuel a conversation, they may not want to talk to you.
Step 5. You need to know what to do
There are several ways to nip a conversation in the bud. If you want to know how to start an interesting conversation, there are some basic things to avoid right from the start.
- Do not disclose personal information. Don't talk about your painful separation, the weird irritation that's popping up on your back, or the fact that you're starting to wonder if someone really loves you. Save these talks for people you know well.
- Don't ask questions that might embarrass your interlocutor. Let the other person talk about his partner, career or health. Don't ask if she is dating someone to find out that she has just ended a relationship and is heartbroken.
- Don't just talk about yourself. Although self-irony and some personal information could put the other person at ease, if you constantly chatter about how fabulous you are or what you will eat for breakfast the next day, they will lose interest very quickly.
- Be careful. Do not forget his name after 5 minutes, or the job or any other important information that your interlocutor may have given you. This will give the impression that you don't care. When the person introduces themselves, say their name aloud so you can memorize it more easily.
Method 2 of 2: Attach Button with Different Kinds of People
Step 1. Chat with someone you like
If you've just met someone you like and want to start a conversation, then you need to make them immediately feel attracted to you by using something original, brilliant and engaging, and maybe flirting a little. When you start a conversation with someone you like, the way you say things is more important than what you say. Maintain eye contact and stand in front of this person, showing them that you are paying attention. Here are some tips on how to do it:
- If you are at a party, talk about the music they play. It will give you something to discuss - whether you like music or can't stand it.
- If you meet him in a club, ask him for advice for a drink. So if you like it too you can give him a sign of approval or if not, make fun of him if you don't have the same tastes.
- Talk about what he does in his spare time. Without being too intrusive, ask what she likes to do on weekends.
- Don't talk about work. Although a topic to avoid is not properly defined, it is better to postpone it to a later time.
- Make fun of her. If it's hot and she's wearing a sweatshirt, make fun of her choice of clothing good-naturedly.
- Talk about animals. People like to talk about their animals. If you also have a puppy, you can exchange photos.
Step 2. Chat with a potential friend
If you think someone you just met may become a friend of yours, or you are a friend of a friend somewhere and want to get to know them better, you could show interest in them without sounding like an interviewer, making them laugh, and making them want to get to know you better.
- Be positive. Don't belittle yourself or complain right away; open with a positive observation, for example the successes of the local football team (if you think they like sport), or how much you like the club or restaurant you are in.
- Talk about the neighborhood. People love to talk about the place they live in and the things they love to do in their area, so if you live in the same area, you can connect these places based on common love. Then you can go more personally and talk about the places you grew up in.
- Ask him what he likes to do for fun. Maybe you will find that you have some common interests.
- Don't talk too much about yourself. Make sure you have the same amount of time to talk. You have to leave knowing more about this person.
- If you have mutual friends, ask them how they met. You could exchange funny anecdotes about a person you both know.
Step 3. Chat with a colleague
Starting a conversation with a colleague can be a little more difficult than a potential boyfriend or friend, because there are limits that should not be overcome in a business context. However, if you keep things on a positive note and talk about your private life on the sidelines, you may be able to have a pleasant conversation.
- Ask him about his family. It's a topic everyone loves to talk about, so ask him how they're doing. Your colleague will show you the photos and give you all the information you want to hear in a second.
- Talk about your weekend plans. If you work together, then both of you will be looking forward to Friday to get out of work and relax or have fun on the weekend. Your colleague will be happy to share their plans with you, if you are not too pushy.
- Join together on a problem. Mention the traffic, the broken copier, or the always missing milk in the kitchen, so you can shake your head together as you move on to more interesting topics.
- Don't talk too much about work. Unless you're starting a conversation with a colleague over a business matter, show your human side and talk about friends, family, common interests instead of focusing on projects and relationships. Try to create a connection on a human level that you could develop across business boundaries.
Step 4. Chat with a group of people
Talking to a whole group of people can be a little more complex. The surest way to be successful is to start with common ground. While it can be difficult to get everyone comfortable and feel like they can contribute to the conversation, it's best to get as many people involved as possible to keep the conversation going and broad.
- Use self-irony. This is a win-win tactic, especially if you're hitting a conversation with people you know by sight. Make them laugh and tease you a bit, and you'll be well on your way to bonding.
- Try to talk to the group, not one or two people. If you give an answer to a particular person, others will feel left out.
- Talking about annoying things is a great way to start a conversation because everyone has at least one. You can start by talking about one of the things that irritate you and most likely others will follow suit.
- Think of something that people in the group might have in common and talk about it. You don't have to be too subtle. You might say, "Hey, you're both Lazio fans - did you see the big game last night?"
Advice
- Think about potential conversation topics before you strike up a conversation. It can also help you get out of unpleasant conversations.
- Don't give in to the temptation to dominate others to have an interesting conversation. Leave room for everyone.
- Think about your tone of voice. Engaging conversation requires a tone of voice that is not too low but not too loud.
- Think of the conversation as a swing ride. You both have to talk for the same amount of time, so don't go too long with something terribly boring because your friend will get tired. And if the person you're talking to is doing a monologue, point it out. You will feel less of a loser if you have fun at parties.
