Are you one of those guys who is afraid of talking to a woman for fear of saying the wrong thing or making a bad impression? If you can show respect and learn to interpret the situation (it's not difficult!), You shouldn't have any problem engaging in conversation with a woman. Go to step one to get started.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Approaching Correctly
Step 1. Read the body language
If you can interpret body language correctly, you can understand if your approach is effective or not. Many women express their intent quite clearly by the way they sit, what they have with them, and how they behave. Do not ignore these signs.
- Usually, if a woman is reading a book, listening to music or working on the computer, she doesn't like someone disturbing her with conversation. If she spends a lot of time looking around rather than working or reading, she may be willing to have a conversation.
- If she has her arms crossed over her chest and is not facing you (especially if she has assumed that position after meeting your gaze), it means that she does not want to be approached.
- Remember that women are taught from an early age to be polite and pleasant, which means that even if a woman decides to have a chat with you, her body language may be communicating something different.
Step 2. Make eye contact
Eye contact is a fantastic and safe way to attract a woman's interest, and allows you to start a conversation. If your eyes meet three times, it means that there is a spark (at least so they say), and consequently you can think of getting closer to her.
- A smile can also be good to attract attention. If she smiles at you, it means she's not averse to conversation, especially if she doesn't smile back.
- This technique works pretty much everywhere. You can make eye contact in a busy bar, coffee shop, book store, even on a bus or plane.
Step 3. When you approach a woman, be confident
Confidence is one of the most attractive aspects of a person, if you approach yourself confidently you can hope to go far. That doesn't mean she'll definitely be impressed by you, it just means that if she doesn't show interest, it won't compromise your self-esteem.
- Try to pay attention to your body language: do not keep a sagging posture and do not cross your arms on your chest (a defensive gesture). Show open body language, turn your body towards her and don't fiddle with your fingers, or you may appear nervous.
- Pretending to be confident is the best way to really be. So keep your back straight and walk with a determined step.
- Remember that the worst thing that can happen is that woman isn't interested in the conversation, and that's not really a big deal. The fact that she isn't interested has nothing to do with you. Remember that.
Step 4. Be yourself
This concept is part of the previous discourse. You need to remind yourself that you are a quiet person that others enjoy talking to (as long as you are respectful). Don't be afraid of what a woman might think when you approach her.
- If you approach a woman, she will immediately get an idea of you, even if you lie. For example, if you pretend to be a hiking fan just to impress her, she'll figure it out pretty quickly and stop taking interest.
- This does not mean that you must immediately take your cards out of Magic, or try to amaze her by telling her the number of goals you scored during your last regional game. It means you need to be sure of yourself and your interests.
- Remember that she may not share your interests and may not be interested in the conversation. Don't view this lack of interest as a wrong to you.
Step 5. Start the conversation respectfully
It can be very difficult to start a conversation, especially with a woman you'd like to get to know better, and it can cause you stress. Do not fear! Here are some excellent ways to start a conversation.
- Ask for help. It can be something as simple as asking her which bar she thinks is the best in the area. If she doesn't feel like she's in a rush, invite her for a coffee at the place she recommended.
- Make use of the surrounding environment. If you're in a bookstore, ask her if she knows where you can find a certain title. If you're both waiting at the bus stop, ask her what time it is, and make a joke about public transport delays, especially if it's raining.
- Ask her something about clothing. Say, "Hey, I couldn't help but notice you're wearing a Ligabue sweatshirt. Do you like him very much?”, Or“Have you ever been to one of his concerts? They told me they are very beautiful!”. This way you will have useful elements to start a conversation and carry it on.
Part 2 of 2: Talk to her
Step 1. Have a conversation naturally
As soon as you've managed to break the ice, you need to carry on the conversation naturally. You can help by following the initial comment line. For example, if she says she is a huge Ligabue fan, you could talk about her last concert and where you were that day.
- To let her know you're interested, you can compliment her while you talk. It doesn't need to be an exaggeration of the "you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen!" (it would appear that you are lying). Instead, try to say something like, “The color of your dress matches the color of your eyes perfectly. It's really beautiful,”or“These earrings are beautiful. Did you make them yourself?"
- Let's go back to the book store example. When you asked him where the book you are looking for is, ask if he has read it. If not, ask her what her favorite book is (or her favorite genre, as it is difficult to choose a favorite book).
- If you offered her a drink and she accepted it, you could talk about the funniest things you've seen someone drunk do. This will make her laugh, and give her a chance to reciprocate with stories she knows.
Step 2. Listen to it
A woman notices if you spend all your time looking at her cleavage and don't listen to a word she says. Likewise, he may lose interest if you spend all your time talking about yourself. Listen to her when she talks, and ask her questions that show interest in what she says.
- Ask her to give you an opinion on something, even if it's simple, like if she thinks blues is better than country, or what she thinks about the school system.
- Don't fiddle with your fingers or objects, don't check your phone, and don't look around while talking. He may notice your lack of attention and begin to feel disinterested in you.
- If you notice that your mind starts wandering as she speaks or you have no interest in what she says, tell her it was nice to meet her and try to get out of the conversation.
Step 3. Charm her
Your conversation needs to be interesting, not your usual weather chat. You need to show her how unique you are and give her reasons to keep talking to you.
- If you've just returned from an exciting event (like a concert), talk about it. If you've learned Japanese, try to incorporate it into the conversation (you can also make jokes about how difficult it was to learn Japanese and mention some of the most glaring mistakes you've made while speaking that language).
- Find something that you have in common. A good way to develop mutual interest is to find something in common to talk about. If you can find something that binds you, she'll want to see you again to continue the conversation. If you're in a bookstore, look for a title or genre that you have in common. If you're at a concert, talk about your favorite genres. Laughing together at a delayed bus can also create a bond between two people.
- Tell her something interesting. Show her you're a guy who cares about current affairs. If something happened recently in your city, talk about it.
Step 4. Be fun
Humor can create a bond faster than anything else. Obviously remember that not everyone has the same sense of humor. Fortunately, though, there are some kinds of humor and jokes that can be used to make her have a good laugh.
- Joke about yourself lightly. You will show her that you are not the type who takes herself too seriously. Tell her about the last time you took the wrong bus and ended up on the other side of town, or about the time you hugged a guy on the street thinking he was your friend only to find out he was a complete stranger.
- You can also tell her about something funny you saw. Maybe you noticed a very short person who kept eight dogs on a leash, or you happened to see a group of clowns coming out of a car. Real events tend to be funnier than jokes and can fuel a conversation.
Step 5. Know when to step back
Sometimes it doesn't matter how charming or funny you are. Every woman you meet doesn't necessarily want to have a conversation with you. Remember that no one owes you time. If a person isn't interested, step back politely.
- If she's answering in monosyllables, checking her cell phone all the time, or avoiding your gaze, then she's probably looking for a way to end the conversation.
- If you're with someone who rolls their eyes every time you say something or tries to ignore you, it's time to end the conversation.
- Show some class. Don't say “well, I see you're not interested” or “sorry if I bothered you” in a sarcastic way. Just say "Well, it was a pleasure to talk to you. See you "in a kind way.
