Are you delighted that you just got a girl's number, but don't know what to write to her to break the ice? Instead of overthinking it, you should adopt the right strategy to make sure the trade goes well. If you write the first message correctly and use the best techniques to carry on the dialogue, you will not only be able to have a great conversation, but you will also begin to develop a relationship with the person you are writing to.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Send a Good First Message
Step 1. Write to her about something you have done together
If you've recently seen each other, you can start by writing about the last activity you shared. By using an event as a point of reference, you allow the other person to express their opinion and you will be able to start the conversation informally.
- For example, you can say, "Damn, I'm so full. That restaurant was great!"
- Or: "Wow, Prof. Bianchi's class was very boring today. I was falling asleep."
Step 2. Ask a question
Asking a question as the first message puts the ball in the other person's court, who can answer or ignore you. If she asks you something too, be sure to answer.
You can ask a simple question, like "What are your plans for the weekend?" or "What shoes are you wearing today? I want to choose the same pair."
Step 3. Write something that catches your attention
Using humor in the first message is a great way to start a conversation. Avoid trivial expressions like "Hello" or "How are you doing?" as an introduction. If you write something unusual, you are more likely to get a response.
You can say, "I just walked halfway across town to get a sandwich, only to realize it's Sunday and the shop is closed. Is your day better than mine?"
Step 4. If the other person doesn't have your number, let them know who you are
While a little mystery can generate interest, don't hide your identity for too long, or you'll look creepy. When you have a person's number but they don't have yours, it's always a good idea to get recognized.
Start the message with a question like "Guess who I am?" followed by your name, or "Hi, I'm Marco. Laura gave me your number"
Step 5. Go for it
The only way to start a text conversation is to take the first step. If you have a person's number but are too nervous or scared to contact them, you will never be able to talk to them. Don't wait too long and don't create excessive expectations. The worst thing that can happen is not getting a response, the same result you will get by not writing anything.
Method 2 of 3: Send Quality Messages
Step 1. Use emojis often
Smilies are useful, because the person you write to cannot see your face or guess your mood. Sarcasm is often missed in messages, so emojis help clarify how certain phrases are to be interpreted. However, don't overdo it and don't substitute for all words, as some people just don't like it.
- You can say: "Today's chemistry class was really interesting:)".
- Or: "Chemistry is the most interesting subject in the world: |".
Step 2. Allow some time to pass before replying
It may seem counterproductive to wait when you are texting someone, but it actually creates interest. Writing too often can turn the other person away. Try to behave naturally and respond when you have time. This approach allows your interlocutor to think about their own answers and can make the conversation richer in content.
Step 3. Submit photos of your activities
Pictures are the ideal way to show the other person what you are doing. Remember to only choose appropriate shots and don't send too many selfies. If you send interesting photographs, the other person will continue to write to you.
Step 4. Maintain a light tone
Long, detailed conversations on serious topics are not suitable for messages. It is best to leave them for phone calls or in-person meetings.
- If someone opens up to you, don't be afraid to answer them. Try to follow his example.
- Light topics include the day's activities, a TV show you both like, or a song you just heard.
Step 5. Send appropriate messages
Try to evaluate the level of confidence and the type of relationship you have with the person you write to. If you are friends, don't use provocative expressions or you might make her uncomfortable. If you're flirting, feel free to send more naughty messages.
- If she doesn't reply to your messages, is busy, or doesn't care to talk to you. Either way, you should take a step back and give her time to answer you.
- If you are just friends, you can write "Hey, I'm dying of boredom. What are you doing?".
- If there is a romantic interest between you, you can write "Hi, I'm bored. Would you like to entertain me?;)".
Method 3 of 3: Keep the Conversation Alive
Step 1. Ask personal questions
If you don't know what to talk about, you can always ask the other person about them. Read her messages and ask her a question about the topics she talks about. The more you can get her to open up and talk about her life, the more often she will want to write to you.
Step 2. Don't judge
Once you have gained the other person's trust, they will likely open up and talk to you about more serious topics. The worst thing you can do is judge her about the things she tells you. Instead, try to be understanding.
If you judge the other person, they will be more afraid to open up to you in the future and may even decide not to write to you again
Step 3. Don't be afraid to be yourself
Don't rethink everything you write. If you find yourself typing long messages and then deleting them, stop and try to relax. If you behave naturally when you write, you will feel much less pressure in future conversations. Be yourself and don't censor yourself.
Step 4. Go with the flow
In some cases, text conversations get interesting and there's no way to direct them where you like. Instead of trying to force an argument, write naturally and spontaneously. Read what the other person is saying to you and open up to them when they start doing it too. If you want to ask her out with you or ask her a deeper or more personal question, wait for the right moment.
Don't get to personal matters too quickly, or you could alienate your interlocutor
Step 5. Don't write too much to a person who doesn't answer you
Being pushy or texting too many in a row can make a person push away and ignore you. On the contrary, keep a detached attitude and wait for her to answer you. If her responses are long in coming at first, she may be busy.
