Personal values are our essential beliefs, the concepts on which we base our life, its purpose and our own purpose. As we grow up, we assimilate the values of those around us until we reach adolescence and begin to accept or reject certain values as part of who we are or extraneous to our being. Instead of simply accepting those values instilled in us by parents, teachers and society, we need to stop, look within ourselves, establish our values and apply them to our lives. This guide will walk you through that process, allowing you to face your theories and live according to a set of values that only you have deemed correct and true.
Steps
Step 1. Stop
Take some time to think.
Step 2. Consider your current satisfaction with your personal values
Do they really represent who you are, or are they a reproduction of the values instilled by those who have played a role in your life? If so, are you happy with this, or do you think it might be a good idea to change some of them to more adequately reflect your personality and purpose in life?
Step 3. Consider the types of values that many find valid
There are many values and lists of good qualities that you can search for online. Which of these suits your ambitions and lifestyle best? Write down the values that mean something to you and try to reduce them to the key values you consider most (there are some suggestions in the “Tips” section, but the list is endless).
Step 4. Explain your most relevant values
It is an interesting exercise that leads you to focus on the main values that matter most to you. As soon as you are more aware of the most important values, you will better understand the essence of who you believe you are, and you will use these main values to guide your choices and decisions in life. The exercise:
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Choose your 10 favorite values. Do it after you have chosen all the values that matter to you right now.
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Halve those values to get the top 5.
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Eliminate another one to get the top 4.
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Take another one off. You are left with your 3 core values. How does it feel?
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Go further - go down to 2 and then 1. That single value is what really guides you and is your primary essence. It is not ideal to live by one value without balancing it with the other important ones, but it helps you to better understand the fact that we are all driven by a single value that encompasses all the rest of what we consider important. Once you have discovered this value, you can learn how to exploit it and balance it in the best possible way in your life.
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Step 5. Apply your values in daily life
Although it is important to know which values guide and support you, making them actually bear fruit to the fullest can be a whole other story. Once you have defined your values, the real challenge is to live your life according to those values in every part of your activities - work, fun, love, social, cultural life, etc. This may require changes in how you approach things and how you see what's going on in your life. Don't be afraid to make that change to respect your values; it is part of our long growth process. For example, if you decide that loyalty is a value to you, think about how you can show your loyalty to others by being there for them, being available when they need it, avoiding gossip and defending them when they are insulted or attacked. You can also choose loyalty at work, supporting it and seeing it as part of your professional purpose. It could mean breaking through old gossip habits, belittling people or companies, stopping making empty promises, and rather starting to be honest.
