For many it is important to find the perfect person. As human beings we are social animals, inclined to form all kinds of relationships with the people we meet. Being afraid of a romantic relationship is not something to be ashamed of. It happens, and it's understandable.
Steps
Step 1. Identify the cause of your fear
Can you think of when you first experienced this type of fear? Maybe seeing your parents arguing? Or maybe because of the consequences of a bad relationship?
Step 2. Being afraid of a relationship does NOT mean that there is something wrong with you
Inviting another person into your world is an important fact. It is natural to be afraid of such a change in your life.
Step 3. Trust yourself
If you really want to be in a relationship, you will be able to find one. But don't close in on yourself because you are afraid. Everyone is afraid of changes.
Step 4. Don't be impatient
Don't find yourself a partner just for the sake of having one. There is a distinct difference between finding a partner and finding someone who you wish you could be. That is to say, don't look for a relationship just because you are the last of your friends who don't have it yet, or you think that at this age you should have had some experience at least. It doesn't have to be that way. Love should blossom from the spark when you meet that special someone and not because they respond to your ad in the newspaper (although this method can work).
Step 5. Anyway
.. try not to despair and not give up, even if it is not easy. Don't feel guilty if you can't do it easily. Accept your feelings as natural and don't be discouraged. Fear is a difficult thing to overcome, it takes time, introspection and inner work to face your fears and scale them to a realistic level. Find someone to talk to, someone you can see as a reference and feel comfortable confiding in.
Step 6. Look at the reasons for your fear
Analyze them individually, make a list of distinct reasons, so that you can manage them one by one for what they are. You will realize that some have nothing to do with a love affair.
- Choosing to wait for an external reason, such as "I want to get a job and build some financial security before committing to someone", or "It would interfere with my studies, so I don't want to commit until I graduate" highlights a certain sensitivity, not fear.
- Choosing to wait "because I'm too shy to ask someone out" can lead you to say "so I should work on it to gradually become less shy and spend more time with friends, meet new ones and flirt, with nothing serious, until I I feel comfortable with romance."
- Choosing to wait because you've recently been through a painful breakup is applying common sense. You could end up with someone worse than your last partner if you jump into a new relationship right away. If it's been over a year, it's time to think about overcoming that fear; but if it is very recent, it is not unusual to fear starting a new relationship with the same old problems.
Advice
- Live your life. Don't try to build your life around others, as you could get hurt by someone, and that would be much worse. If you can stay yourself, you will develop self-confidence, and no matter what happens in a relationship, you will be able to find happiness.
- While it's possible you may get impatient for a romantic relationship, be cautious. DO NOT go out with someone just because you believe you will never meet anyone else. Get to know the person first, and be very careful.
- Know that You are You, you are not your parents, your friends, or anyone else. You can have any relationship you want (of course, your partner will have a say in this decision too).
- Don't get stressed out, stay positive. You can overcome fear if you believe in it.
- You're not accepting a marriage proposal, you're just going on a date. It doesn't have to be more than it is.
Warnings
- Don't be afraid when the relationship brings pain. Without pain, there can be no happiness.
- Know the difference between a healthy relationship and a sick one, and if you've made the mistake of starting a sick relationship, don't underestimate your instincts.
