Interpersonal relationships are essential for leading a happy and fulfilled life. They offer support when guidance is needed, inspiration through collaboration. Above all, they satisfy the typically human need to find their place in the world and feel a sense of belonging within a group that is respected and admired. Cultivating a healthy interpersonal relationship requires time, practice, attention to one's own needs and those of others.
Steps
Method 1 of 4: Cultivate a Relationship
Step 1. Meet new people
Human beings, including introverts, are social creatures by nature. Consequently, if you want to build a healthy relationship with others, you must take advantage of all the opportunities for interaction that present themselves to you.
- Find valid reasons to be in contact with others. The more times you do this, the more you'll have the chance to interact with people, so the chances of those interactions being meaningful will get higher and higher. Go out, go to the bar, go on a trip, attend a concert or a play.
- Look for meetings organized by groups in your community who share your values and interests, attend events. Meetup.com is a great resource in this regard, but with a quick online search you can find others as well.
- Be available. Learn to say yes to invitations made to you by acquaintances, colleagues, family and friends. It can be a simple Friday lunch, a weekend camping trip, an invitation to a child's dance recital. It doesn't matter the event itself. As long as it doesn't interfere with your weekly responsibilities, accept.
Step 2. Respect diversity
When diversity is respected, the right to be unique and different is respected, opening the door to safer, deeper and more fruitful interactions. Here are some ways to respect diversity:
- Learn about another culture or religion by attending a prayer meeting at a place of worship;
- Volunteer in your community to help individuals with disabilities or special needs;
- Visit other countries and adopt local customs whenever possible and respectful to do so.
- Watch documentaries that introduce you to other cultures and parts of the world.
Step 3. Focus on the quality of relationships
A quality interpersonal relationship is defined by closeness, respect, shared values and support. Studies have shown that a good interpersonal relationship is not only beneficial to mental health, but also to physical well-being.
Spend quality time with others by proposing interesting activities. For example, take a walk, visit a museum or chat
Step 4. Build trust
It is essential to have a healthy relationship: if you do not feel safe with someone, it is difficult to deepen the bond. Prove that you are trustworthy by admitting your mistakes and sincerely apologizing, behaving fairly, and communicating openly. You should look for people with the same characteristics.
- If you don't take responsibility for your actions and try to blame others for your mistakes, it will be difficult for people to trust you. Admit your mistakes and sincerely apologize.
- Be reliable by keeping your promises. It can be as simple as arriving on time for a date with a friend or completing a project by the deadline you are given. When you say you will do something, others need to be able to trust you.
- Say what you really feel and do what you say. Don't tell someone you're going to keep a secret and then go and blurt it out. Your behaviors should be consistent with your words.
- Remember this is a gradual process - you need to earn a person's trust, especially if they've been burned in the past.
Step 5. Treat others kindly
You don't just have to make cute gestures, like a gift, but also control your daily interactions. Treating others with kindness and sincere respect is key to cultivating a healthy bond. Trusting someone and deepening a relationship requires a certain vulnerability. If a person thinks that you can make fun of them or treat them badly, it will be difficult for them to be vulnerable with you. Instead, kindness makes you feel appreciated and loved.
For example, it can be difficult to be kind in the midst of a conflict. Instead of blaming, shouting, insulting the other person or exploiting their insecurities, try to express why you feel hurt and angry
Method 2 of 4: Communicate in a Healthy Way
Step 1. Use good verbal communication techniques
The easiest way to meet new people, even just temporarily, is to break the ice and talk. According to a research, communication (even when it is mandatory) improves the mood and allows in general to have a more positive predisposition towards others.
- Be assertive. Assertiveness means sharing one's thoughts and emotions in an appropriate and respectful way.
- Be honest and show your identity to others transparently. People perceive honesty and this motivates them to trust someone. Furthermore, starting a relationship based on lies means that then you have to keep them, with the risk that the lie will be brought to the surface and the relationship compromised.
- Ask open questions. Invite others to talk about themselves. This not only promotes sharing, trust and intimacy, it also helps steer the conversation towards topics that make you feel comfortable.
Step 2. Listen
Listening is the first step to take to build stronger interpersonal relationships. Show that you appreciate people for who they are and what they say. Here are some secrets to listen to the best:
- Look others in the eye: you don't have to stare at them, but focus your attention on your interlocutor rather than on your cell phone or other people.
- Try to have adequate body language. Gestures can help increase the confidence of your interlocutor. Don't fidget or look at the clock. Nod when the person you're talking to makes an interesting point.
- Do not interrupt: let your interlocutor finish speaking before asking him: "Can I ask you / add something?". However, you can show that you are attentive by nodding, making affirmative sounds (like "Mh-mh") or saying words like "I understand".
- Try to be open-minded. Don't let communication be driven by fear or prejudice. Show that you respect your interlocutor, no matter what points you disagree with.
Step 3. Also use non-verbal communication techniques
Carefully consider the meaning conveyed by your expressions of non-verbal communication, which strengthen and accentuate your thoughts and moods.
To denote confidence, try to speak at a normal pace (not too fast or slow), look your interlocutor in the eye frequently (but don't stare, sometimes look away), avoid shaking your legs or moving nervously, and try to demonstrate openness (e.g. do not cross your arms)
Step 4. Resolve conflicts in a healthy way
Conflict is inevitable, even between people who have similar views. In times of frustration it is easy to say things or act in ways that reflect dejection, not the true values you have. Here's how to constructively resolve an altercation:
- Avoid having body language (like pointing your finger at someone's face, getting too close, rolling your eyes, and so on) or aggressive verbal.
- Ask questions and present the various points of view equally;
- Avoid insulting or resorting to personal attacks;
- Always remind your interlocutor that you respect their point of view and their right to think differently.
Method 3 of 4: Strengthen the Bond
Step 1. Be empathetic
Empathy conveys warmth, acceptance, and affection. It is the foundation of any healthy relationship, it comes from listening and respect. To show empathy during a conversation, you need to contribute by talking about similar experiences and emphasize the values shared with your interlocutor. When a person considers you empathetic, they will be more likely to confide in you, trust you and value you, which are the pillars of a good relationship.
Show empathy, not compassion: having compassion means feeling a sadness aroused by someone else's pain, the problem is that it leads to focus on one's own suffering. Empathy, on the other hand, keeps the focus on the other person, so it induces you to listen and feel their pain, unique and different from yours
Step 2. Show compassion
Compassion requires self-analysis to examine the causes of one's pain and inspires not to inflict the same suffering on others. It means supporting the right of others to feel fulfilled and happy, while not always agreeing with their point of view. Compassion is basically an act of kindness that allows you to reassure others that you find them worthy and important. Try to cultivate it in your life by doing the following:
- Offer compassion to those who have mistreated you: Perhaps the most difficult act of compassion there is is the one reserved for a person deemed undeserving of such treatment. The best thing to do is to put yourself in her shoes, imagining the events that caused her anger and the pain she inflicts on others. Allow yourself to feel empathy towards that suffering, then channel it into acts of kindness and tolerance towards the person in question.
- Focus on what you have in common. People basically look alike. Everyone feels satisfied thanks to the same emotions: love, trust, support, sense of belonging. The fact that these desires manifest differently on the outside does not mean that people are different. When you end up brooding over the differences, try to bring attention back to the similarities by remembering that this person is seeking happiness, knows suffering, seeks security, and is still discovering the world, just like you.
Step 3. Return
Reciprocity is an important element in developing strong bonds with others. Think about how you can lift a weight off another person's shoulders, even for just a moment. Showing that you are there for someone and that you truly care can deepen the relationship.
- Offer acts of kindness. For example, offer to babysit neighbors' kids for free so they can go out alone one night, help a friend move, give math tutoring to your little sister. Do all this without expecting payments or reciprocity: propose yourself out of pure and simple kindness.
- Do something nice for others. You could give a gift or offer words of encouragement.
- Show your support by helping out or offering assistance in one way or another. Share the responsibilities with a roommate or any other person you live (like cleaning, paying bills, and so on).
Method 4 of 4: Know Yourself
Step 1. Self-exploration helps cultivate good interpersonal relationships:
find out why. Sure, your goal is to learn how to have healthy relationships with others, but knowing yourself can help you achieve this much more effectively. It is important to take the time to understand your identity and what motivates you, your likes and dislikes, simply your way of life, so that you can constructively relate to others.
For example, knowing what makes you angry can help you avoid overreacting. Maybe you didn't feel listened to when you tried to talk to your dad, so now you know you tend to lose your temper when someone doesn't answer your question right away. If you know you are done this way, you can stop before attacking your interlocutor by reminding yourself: "I am shocked because this makes me rethink my father's behavior. It is possible that Susanna is still thinking about an answer or she has not. heard. It is useless to overreact. " Then, avoid going on a rampage with Susanna and risk damaging your relationship
Step 2. Keep a diary to let your inner self emerge
A diary allows you to facilitate the dialogue between the ideal image you have of yourself and what you currently are. Writing can also be an exercise based on silence and concentration to confess to paper topics you are not yet ready to talk about. Here are some ideas that can stimulate greater introspection:
- "Who I am?"
- "What do I love?"
- "What would I tell myself about the past?"
Step 3. Follow a timeline
A timeline allows you to take stock of your goals and the progress it took to reach them. It can be useful both as a verification tool to examine your goals and to motivate yourself to give your best in view of future steps. Here are some factors to remember as you work through your history:
- Decide where it will start and where it will end. You don't have to start from your birth.
- Make a preliminary list of events to add. They should be based on aspects that you consider significant and important.
- Include a title. Make it detailed, so avoid headlines like "My Life". It should both guide the interpretation of the chronology and reflect the values inherent in its creation.
Step 4. Realize yourself
The term "self-actualization" was coined by the humanistic psychologist Abraham Maslow. It describes the process in which primordial needs are met, in order to be able to satisfy the most abstract ones. This ideology strongly emphasizes all levels of personal care and the acceptance of individual needs. Here are what they are:
- Physiological safety: food, shelter, heat, air;
- Well-being: protection from harm or threats;
- Belonging: inclusion in a group, love, freedom to take what you need and give in a selfless way.
- Self-esteem: positive self-image;
- "Being": the ability to explore abstract creative impulses and achieve self-realization.
