Any kind of relationship, with family members, with people you work with, with friends, or with clients you care for, requires a lot of effort. Much of the cement that improves our relationships is based, in fact, on trust, compassion and acceptance of the other. However, it is necessary to take into account the differences - two people are never the same or have the same interests, and while naturally looking for common elements to share, the acceptance of compatibility as differences is essential for a long-lasting relationship.
Steps
Step 1. Know yourself
Always expressed by many people, this ancient and simple adage is essential for building good relationships. If you don't know your needs, desires, preferences and limitations, you risk using relationships as a support for your self-referentiality, which can easily lead to co-dependence, nagging behavior, aggressive possessiveness, manipulation, or other pathological reasons for wanting to be with. the others. Knowing yourself helps you to be creative, one who builds on strength rather than destructive Debbie Downer, one who rejoices in the successes, recognition and strengths of others, rather than being bothered by them. We are always attracted to people who make us feel good about ourselves and ultimately this is the number one skill for improving our relationships with others.
Step 2. Get to know the other person
It's not easy to learn all that is possible about a wide range of people, but it makes so much of a difference that it's definitely worth it; even the people who cross our streets once in a lifetime can touch us deeply just to take an interest in us as people. For example, think of the salesperson trying to have a conversation about your life, rather than acting like they don't care about your presence and only caring about the product. A sale is often successful simply because the salesperson shows that they view the customer as a human being, not a consumer. Strive to build a relationship with another, no matter how short it may be, and you will be greatly impressed by how much easier your interactions with others become.
- Ask simple questions about big things. Get to know other people's values and beliefs by asking. Regarding the people you have a close relationship with, what do you know about their views on the world, on other people, on laws, evil, marriage, faith, spiritual fulfillment, etc.?
- Also share your views and values. However, be prepared to be challenged by what others think and believe, without being negative, confrontational or hateful in the responses. You don't have to give up what you believe in, but you can learn something if you are willing to listen to what others think.
- Feel comfortable when asking questions about the values of others; many people like the opportunity to open up a little more. However, don't investigate or distort the answers, and be especially wary of people who are still searching for their values, who seem confused, or who just find this kind of conversation upsetting. Not everyone feels comfortable talking about their values, but most appreciate benevolent suggestions.
Step 3. Avoid flaunting the merits deriving from a marriage or from being a member of a family
Sometimes, many of us don't feel fulfilled, because being whole is just being part of a couple. Being single is not always a choice, but the important thing is to give your best when you are in this situation, and to continue to turn to others as a friend and as a human being rather than constantly seeming needy and lost. Learn to dedicate time to yourself in positive ways, considering being single in terms of health, not loneliness, and simply another aspect of your being.
For those who come from dire family situations, there may be a deep desire to recreate a family that "works". There is nothing wrong with this desire, as long as it does not induce you to change your way of life before you have fulfilled it; do not put the fulfillment of your life on hold for an eventuality that has not yet happened (and remember that the idea of what "works" is very abstract). Plus, it continues to be a part of the lives of the disastrous family members you are still in a relationship with and care about. They are still your family, and they can be a source of strength and support. For those for whom the previous family situation was so bad that they could not rely on anyone, there may be other people to rely on, such as good friends, extended family members, or those who have meant a great deal in their lives. We are all one family, after all
Step 4. Remember that the best relationships are based on living, loving and sharing:
- Living means letting others live as they have chosen to do unless they violate the dignity of others; don't try to change people or direct their life choices - while there is room for advice, don't impose your preferences on others. It also means actively enjoying being with other people, being available to them and listening to them carefully. Too many times when we are with someone we get distracted to answer the phone or to think about other things, instead of focusing on the person who is with us. Cultivate being present as the best gift that can ever be offered to another human being.
- To love means to give one's love for others entirely and unconditionally. This is probably one of the hardest things in most relationships, because sometimes concern for another person loses perspective out of a sense of responsibility or attention to another person, so we try to place conditions on our love. as a way of giving shape to our expectations. Try hard to resist this temptation and just love people for who they are. If you see warts, keep scraping until you find the buds underneath.
- Sharing creates harmony in a relationship. Harmony and balance are part of the structure of a good relationship. Remember that relationships aren't about you - they're about each other.
Step 5. Get the other person's point of view
An important element in improving relationships is knowing how to put on the shoes of the other. It is impossible to really know another person's motives, reasons, and actions if we don't watch carefully and listen with an open heart. It is easy to ban a person because he has done or said things we disagree with or because he feels bad on a superficial level and we prefer to lick our wounds instead of considering the real reasons. Is it possible that your reactions are causing another person to react towards you in a way that makes things even more difficult between you? For example, if you press someone who is reluctant to express their feelings about you, and that ends up saying even less, consider that your intrusiveness may have silenced them completely. Or, if this person has finally opened up, but you jumped at their throat with annoyance or anger at the things they said, you are simply confirming that silence around you is the best choice. Instead, try the following whenever you find yourself in a situation where you perceive confrontation, discomfort, or misunderstanding in the relationship between you:
- Stop talking and just listen.
- Take a moment to really take what the other person said.
- Repeat what you understand of what the other said (the gist, not word for word).
- Summarize what the other person said until they agree that you hit the mark.
- So start looking for a compromise rather than bombard it with what you think is "not understood" of your point of view.
Step 6. Be prepared to face difficulties and problems in relationships as soon as they arise
Letting issues gangrenous in a relationship is a recipe for fueling misunderstanding and anger, which can ultimately lead to a relationship breakup. Talk openly about your feelings, problems you have, and concerns about things you have heard or been said to you. Avoid gossip bias, but try to clear the air when someone you interact with seems to have said or done something that negatively reverberates on you.
When speaking openly, there is no need to confess all your sins and tell the whole story of your life. Be careful about the things you say and get to the point. Putting on tearful stories to understand others is a dress that quickly becomes tight
Step 7. Be willing to take full responsibility for your words and actions if you want the relationship to work
After childhood, you are expected to be responsible for what you say and do; Unfortunately, there are many adults unable to grasp this simple concept, and who feel more secure, for one reason or another, by blaming others for their inadequacies and actions. After a while, this causes relationships to falter because no one wants to be accused all the time, and it is boring and tiring to have someone around who constantly blames others and never takes responsibility. A very quick way to improve many relationships is to remove blame, accept responsibility, and find solutions instead of complaining.
Step 8. Grow together
Expecting someone to remain the same person they were 5, 10 or 20 years ago is unrealistic and unfair. Do you want to be remembered as the same person you were 20 years ago, or have you grown and changed in the meantime? Good relationships give room for growth and, in these, both parties accept that the other grows. In fact, they not only allow this space but they feed it; therefore, it helps the other to become more and more the person he wants to be, to develop his strengths, and you rely on these. Valuing the best of the other is one of the greatest experiences in a relationship, whether it be family members, lovers, students, employees, colleagues, friends, customers, anyone!
Remember, even though you get older, changes don't necessarily mean the end of a relationship; instead, it's just a different kind of relationship. If you can accept that the status of your relationship has changed, this can be the start of something completely special in a new way. Of course, however, for some, growth means moving away and becoming incompatible. This is also normal, but make sure he really can't accept it before finally cutting the ties
Step 9. Feed your relationship
Any relationship, like any living being, needs nourishment to flourish; left alone, untreated, and neglected, the chance of it surviving will be minimal. This means allocating time, even a short one, to spend with the other. In intimate relationships, the time needed to spend together will be greater than that of a boss with an employee or a retailer with a customer, but in any case, the time spent must be dedicated, focused and of quality, in order to feed the relationship. Give your undivided attention, show that you care and are interested, and be mentally and emotionally available when spending time with someone else.
If someone lives far from you, send them an email from time to time or call them. Plan to meet occasionally, or if that's impossible, try a video chat. With our amazing technology it's like being in a room with another person in the center of the world, so take advantage of it
Step 10. Believe, trust and assume good faith
Believing in people and trusting them isn't always easy. Of course, there are people who will abuse your trust and who don't live by your belief in them. However, it is always better to assume that others will do the right thing and that they will try to live by your trust in them, rather than looking at the world through the lens of fear and anger. By all means, use your wits and common sense about what's wrong when interacting with other people - you don't want to end up physically damaged or emotionally mistreated - but try to be a source of encouragement and light for other people in the your life, giving indications that you believe and trust them above all else. It is increasingly difficult to break trust and let a person fall when you are fully aware of this trust, and you know that to break it you have to make active choices that bring harm. In many situations where coercion is absent, assuming good faith from a human will guarantee you the reward of a better relationship, and could even result in a lifelong, mutual commitment as a trusted friend or partner.
-
Stay close to those you trust. It also shows others that you support them and that you believe in them.
- People are more complex than we often think. In many cases this happens because it is easier in a time-constrained life to see things in black and white, and not dwell much on the details. However, this is often an understatement for other people because we take things for granted that may be misleading or wrong, and in doing so, we act superficially to their disrepute. Instead, try to understand more and in doing so, you are likely to learn more about yourself as well.
Advice
- Relationships are iterative. This means reciprocally seeking to: know, understand, believe and trust each other simultaneously and repeatedly.
- If your partner, friend, or other person you are dealing with is depressed about something, don't try to tell him what he could have done to get better. It is too late for that. He came to you for help. In hindsight, he probably already knows what he should have done differently. Just say "That really sucks" or "I'm sorry this happened to you" etc and be there for him, or at least be understanding without criticism. There is nothing worse than going to another person for comfort after a terrible day and being told what you "would do" or "try to do".
- Relationships are give and take, but both give and take must be balanced to ensure a good outcome.
- Don't worry if things seem to be going a little slow - just relax. The best relationships are those that burn slowly - like a candle.
- Eliminate the words "I told you" from your vocabulary. Nothing is more annoying and less useful.
- A relationship can be of different types. If you run a shop in Sardinia you need to maintain a relationship with customers. If you are a doctor, you need to maintain a relationship with patients. All professions usually require a healthy relationship for them to be successful. https://www.mahendratrivediscam.com/ helps people eliminate obstacles in any relationship.
Warnings
- Avoid joking and playing with other people's feelings. This does not improve your relationships; it manipulates people and makes you think you are in a relationship when you don't, because it's all on one side.
- It is important to remember that while it is possible to change people's behavior, their core personality remains the same.
- Avoid basing an intimate relationship on sex. Once you have done this, the relationship is mainly based on sex and not on the need to get to know each other. It is very difficult to get back from this, which is why some people are resolved not to have sex before marriage. And as fun as sex is, it's never strong enough on its own to create a bond that will last a lifetime.