Are you tired of talking to yourself? Are you forced to stay at home? Are you too shy to go out and meet people? The Internet is a great place to get out of the shell of shyness, talk to people living in every corner of the globe, make friends with people who share your interests and passions. It is not at all difficult to learn how to make friends online.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Finding Similar People
Step 1. First, examine a website
When you join an online community, it is good to scan the page or browse through forums, comments and message boards. Just like when you arrive at a party, you need to get a feel for the place and how people interact. Thanks to the comments and conversations, it is possible to understand if you have something in common with these people.
On some communities, it is mandatory to sign up before you can access message boards or comments. You can learn more by reading reviews or comments on the site itself to see if it suits your personality
Step 2. Identify users who share your interests
Once you have signed up, you will be able to find users who you think have what it takes to become your friends. To get started, the easiest way is to find people who share your passions. If you read a comment left by someone who apparently loves football or cake making and you have that passion too, you might want to try making a friendship.
- You can try to contact her immediately using the methods provided by the site (such as clicking on the username to open a chat or clicking on the button that allows you to send a private message).
- You can also copy her name to a text file or write it by hand, so you can text her later when you feel ready.
Step 3. Find a suitable username
While you will likely sign up on more than one site (thus opening several accounts), you need to be able to remember them all. Creating a single username is useful for not forgetting it. On some sites it will need to be tweaked a bit, but in general using a similar name will help keep you from getting confused.
- If your name is not available on a site, adding a number, letter or special character usually allows you to use it anyway. For example, maybe myrajane has already been chosen by another user, but it's possible that mira_jane is available.
- Use a different password for each site to protect your identity.
- Create a file on your computer (with Word or Excel) to write down all username / password combinations, so you don't have to reset them if you forget them.
Step 4. Join the conversations
In addition to sending private messages (MPs) to people you think you can get along with, start commenting on featured threads. Others will understand what your interests are and may contact you first.
Make intelligent and objective comments so that you gain the sympathy of other users. Speaking with a strong opinion or critical remark will likely divide other attendees and risk getting yourself a bad reputation on the site
Step 5. Introduce yourself
Some communities have special message boards to introduce themselves. You can write a couple of short paragraphs indicating your name, the place where you live (just the city or the province, nothing specific), age, gender and some interests. This information will allow other users to get to know you. For example, someone from your city or age may decide to contact you.
You can also find users who have the same interests as you by scrolling through the presentation forum
Step 6. Create discussion groups focused on your interests
If you want to start cultivating a relationship with users who have certain passions, but you don't want the bias that you have found on other boards, opening a group or forum may be for you. You can invite other users by advertising yourself on similar threads.
Step 7. Play
Online video games allow you to make friends right away. Nowadays, many have voice functions, so it is possible to play and talk to other users at the same time. With games like Minecraft, Call of Duty, and others, it is possible to establish a relationship by communicating verbally, rather than through written messages.
- Since it is possible to join a team, it is often possible to strengthen a bond because they will work together for a common goal.
- Remember that teaming up and recruiting people can provoke hostility in a game, so before trying to do so, wait until others are interested and willing.
Part 2 of 4: Cultivating Friendship Online
Step 1. When writing, try to use the language in a standard way
If you respect the spelling rules, others will feel good about you, as they will understand what you say. The same is true if you speak another language. If you type everything in uppercase, mix uppercase and lowercase randomly, or use particular characters, it will be difficult to read you, plus you will seem pompous or in need of attention (especially if no one else does).
- These behaviors can give the impression that you are trying to get attention. Online, such an attitude has the same effect it would have in real life: alienating others. In fact, it suggests that you are unable to take care of yourself.
- Avoid typical SMS language, such as using symbols to abbreviate a word (for example, "x" instead of "for"). You will look uneducated and lazy, not to mention that reading you will be difficult.
Step 2. Try to be kind and polite
When commenting, don't be slanted or rude. Sure, you want to have a chance to express yourself, but engaging in a conversation with an aggressive attitude will alienate others, especially if they disagree. Instead, try to be polite and kind (even when you disagree), so as to avoid conflict and not foreclose on the opportunity to make friends.
- Reserve your passionate opinions for private conversations with someone who agrees with you, or express them in forums specifically created as a forum for debate.
- Don't attack anyone. In this case, virtual spaces must be treated just like real ones. It's easy to forget about it online, where it's impossible to see a person's body language.
Step 3. Ask questions
To get to know someone, you need to show interest, just like you would in real life. Show interest by asking relevant questions, not strange or embarrassing. That way, it is likely that others will ask you questions in turn.
- Just like in real life, listening is key to forming a friendship.
- When asked questions, answer them openly. In fact, just like in real life, shyness tends to alienate others. If there is no exchange, it is impossible to build a friendship.
Step 4. Exchange email addresses
If you've built a solid relationship with someone and think it's a safe friendship, you might want to exchange email addresses. It will be a particularly useful means of communication when one of you is traveling and it will be difficult to hear you in other ways.
Step 5. Try to communicate openly
Just like in real life, it is necessary to communicate with others in order to cultivate a friendship. We must therefore respond to messages and posts, ask questions, take the initiative to ask others how they are before they make themselves heard. Cultivating a friendship is also this.
Reply to messages immediately. If you wait for days or a week, you risk losing your friendship because you will seem uninterested or too busy
Step 6. Comment often
Not only should you send private messages to other users on a regular basis, you also need to comment on forums and threads to stay up to date. Also, others will keep seeing your name and won't forget about you.
Tag others in your comments to engage them, share ideas and spark conversations
Step 7. Consider making phone calls
If you have a good friendship and are sure of someone's identity, you might want to try talking to them over the phone. This mode of communication is already used for most online games, but hardly ever for websites. Chatting over the phone is fun because it makes exchanges instant and the relationship deepens.
- Consider meeting a new friend in person, but only after talking to them on the phone or seeing them on a video chat to verify their identity. Before seeing him in real life, take your time to get to know him.
- Phone calls and meetings are normal on dating sites.
Step 8. Deal with conflicts
Just like in real life, it is inevitable to clash with virtual friends and, just like in real life, you have to face them, so that your reputation is not tarnished on the site. Ask your friend to talk about it via private message, chat, or phone, rather than trying to fix the problem through a public forum or email (email is too slow).
Before attempting to resolve a virtual conflict, it is recommended that you take your time to calm down. Also, it is helpful to discuss the situation with an outside person to get a different point of view
Part 3 of 4: Protecting Your Online Security
Step 1. Trust your instincts
It is often possible to understand if an online interaction is safe: just pay attention to the way the interlocutor behaves. If he is persistently asking you for personal information, bank account details or your exact address, that's a wake-up call. You can also tell if someone is lying to you about their identity by the way they talk about their work or school environment, especially if you know a certain context firsthand.
- For example, a person tells you that he is 16, but uses the vocabulary of a university student, or he tells you that he is from a certain region, but uses idioms from other places.
- If you feel uncomfortable, please log out of the chat. Nobody stops you from closing a conversation or deleting an email without explanation. It is good to do this whenever you feel even a slight stench of burning.
Step 2. Set your age rules
Many lie about their age in order to access a certain site or deceive others for their own gain, but many others are honest about it. Try to make friends with your peers so that you are not encouraged to do things that are dangerous for your age.
For example, if you are 16 and you talk to someone who says they are 25, they may want to discuss issues that are not appropriate for your age, such as smoking or drinking. Talking about these topics can lead you to try certain experiences in order to impress your new friend. This is not at all wise because you risk having problems with the law
Step 3. Never share specific details about where you live
In an online community, you might share data about your school, region, province or city to find people who live near or who have visited the area, but never give your address. This is a very important rule, because that way you won't accidentally feed your information to criminals.
- Ask external websites, such as PagineBianche, to delete your address. That way, anyone looking for your name on the internet won't be able to find out where you live.
- Try to keep all your profiles private to avoid sharing personal details with anyone.
Step 4. Create a suitable username
Try not to use your real name (if you do, at least do not add your last name), this way others will not be able to find personal data on the internet. Instead, create a username inspired by an activity or show you like, such as "Soccergirl" or "Sherlock_fan".
The same goes for the profile picture. Use a photo or avatar that doesn't relate directly to you. Don't use a real photo: Upload an image that portrays a landscape or your favorite character from a movie. You can also create an avatar on the internet
Step 5. Refuse to transfer money
If someone asks you for money on a community, be wary: it is a spammer or an identity thief. Never send money, especially if they ask for your credit card number or bank account information.
- Do not share any type of financial data. You can use PayPal, but if you are asked to make a payment on behalf of a business or organization, make sure the money is sent to a legitimate website.
- In general, don't lend money to someone you know online, so as not to run into a security breach.
- Also avoid revealing that you tend to give in to pressure when asked for money. If you start giving money, the situation can get out of hand, putting you in a position to continually give in to outside pressure.
Step 6. Sip the personal details
Never share information such as your passport number or date of birth. Someone can use them to steal your identity. According to some studies, most teens are able to protect their personal data and keep their profiles private - everyone should follow their example.
When on the internet, also avoid describing your appearance
Step 7. Pay close attention to phone calls and video chats
If you decide to call someone or contact them via video chat, make sure that this person really exists and is not a spammer or criminal. Virtual predators have certain characteristics, here are some of them:
- Usually, they are male and Caucasian, and they are beyond adolescence;
- On their accounts, they have a lot of kid-related activities;
- They ask questions aimed at the potential victim to understand who they would like to talk to;
- They appear to be respectable members of society;
- They flatter the potential victim and compliment her too much and also always prove her right;
- They try to turn the victim against people they trust, such as parents or a spouse;
- They make threats.
Step 8. If you decide to meet, choose a public place
If you've carefully reviewed a friend you found online and talked to them over the phone or video chat to confirm they're not a criminal, you probably want to meet them in real life. Make sure you do this in a busy public place (such as a shopping mall or subway station) and let someone who can protect you, such as a parent, older brother, or older friend, accompany you.
Better that your companion is a self-defense expert, or capable of identifying compromising situations or dangerous people
Part 4 of 4: Searching for an Online Community
Step 1. Use general interest sites
There are many web pages designed for different age groups and interests, such as culture, comics, instant messaging, virtual reality, art and so on. Most make discussion groups available. There are also sites that perform only and exclusively a forum function. Here are some sites of general interest:
- DeviantArt;
- Forum - Chat;
- Pen pals;
- wikiHow;
- Wikipedia;
- Second Life;
- Friendsies;
- FriendMatch.
Step 2. Search for friends with online courses
In most cases, it is necessary to post in the forums, so it is possible to meet students who have similar interests. The forums also allow you to have access to the e-mails of subscribers, so that you can also communicate externally.
Nowadays, most universities offer online resources, so check out your faculty website
Step 3. Use social networks
By now sites like Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and Instagram are known to everyone. Most of the "friends" are made up of people who know each other in real life, but this does not exclude the possibility of adding strangers. In fact, several teens claim to find many friends this way.
- Use dating sites, like Meetic and be2. Their goal is to help their users find love, but it is also possible to make friends, without sentimental purposes.
- There are also sites designed for children that teach how to make healthy friendships online. Web pages such as Stardoll and Gaia Online allow you to establish a relationship in complete safety by sharing interests such as comics and television programs.
Step 4. Join the blogosphere
Start a blog and advertise it on social networks. Once you start attracting readers and followers, you will be able to comment on other blogs and other bloggers will also intervene under your posts. You will be able to form friendships with writers who have similar ideas to yours and discuss issues that are important in your daily life. You will also have a space to give free rein to your thoughts.
- Blogging is also becoming a good source of income for many.
- Sites like Blogger, WordPress, and LiveJournal are very reliable blogging platforms.
Step 5. Use the Meetup site
Usually, you can find multiple groups in large cities. If you see an interesting one, join to connect with people with similar interests to yours. The goal of this site is to promote opportunities for encounter and exchange in real life. Since it is a group activity, you can easily have a friend accompany you if you are afraid to go alone.
Step 6. Use video game sites
As stated earlier, joining a gamer community is an easy way to make friends. However, many video games have to be bought and require a paid online membership, not to mention the equipment needed to play. There are free games, but they are usually not as fun or interactive because gamers don't like them.
Generally, you need to have a suitable computer or video game console such as the PlayStation or Xbox, a joystick, and a good quality headset. Only in this way is it possible to make the most of this passion and make friends
Step 7. Use freelance sites
Why not make friends while earning? Many freelance job sites allow you to talk to clients and colleagues via chat, a tool that allows you to communicate immediately from a professional point of view. Chats can also be used for personal reasons, so to cultivate friendships while doing your job.
These sites include UpWork, WriterAccess, and Freelance
Advice
- Different MMO, FPS and other types of game communities can help you make friends. If you don't already have it, sign up for an account on Steam. Download free multiplayer games and search for a good server / group. Just remember to be active and friendly.
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There are several sites designed only for teenagers. Here are some of them:
- www.ilgomitolo.net;
- www.girlpower.it;
- www.giovani.it.
Warnings
- Try not to meet someone you know on the internet alone. The appointment must always be made in a public place, also ask a friend or family member to accompany you. If you go there alone, pick a busy place and tell someone.
- You can trust friends you've met online, but up to a certain point: don't put yourself in a position of vulnerability. Choose people based on certain criteria.
- If someone insults or harasses you, save your conversations or copy them. Report it to the moderators of the site. If you are a minor, contact your parents or another responsible adult.
- Remember that you can always block someone who puts pressure on you to do something or who keeps texting you even after being asked to stop.
