Becoming friends with the guy you like is no easy feat. It will be difficult to hide your emotions and you may not have enough patience, but a relationship that stems from a friendship is very rewarding. Once you have gained his trust, try to integrate yourself into his group of friends and at the right time express how you feel about him. It is not healthy to hide your feelings; if he is truly your friend, he will not hesitate to listen to you and will appreciate your presence in his life, regardless of the consequences.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Making Friends with a Boy You Don't Know
Step 1. Talk to his friends
Kids easily feel lonely or marginalized especially when friends start making fun of them. By getting closer to his friendships, you will show him that you have entered his circle of acquaintances and that you are certainly a reliable person. Learn how they interact and find out how you could fit into his party.
Step 2. Form a group
Whether it's reading books, brewing craft beer, or watching a few movies, try sharing an interest with him. Invite other people to join as well, or cultivate it just the two of you. If you've recently become friends, make sure you don't make it seem like a date.
The group could meet once a week or a month. Basically it's about sharing with the guy you like something that strengthens your bond of friendship, without oppressing him
Step 3. Find a new pastime
Keep busy. It is preferable that your life does not revolve around your friendship. Plus, whether it pursues your interests or not, a new hobby will offer you a starting point for conversation.
Take a class. Study something that has always intrigued you so you don't get bored
Step 4. Volunteer when you can
By making yourself useful to the community you live in, you will feel better about yourself. Selflessness and goodness of mind are two qualities that make people more attractive. It may also be that the guy you like might want to follow you or feel compelled to find other opportunities to volunteer.
Step 5. Use sport
It's pretty obvious that kids love to watch games and play sports. You don't necessarily have to cheer on his favorite team or follow the sport he likes. He will find it interesting that you have your favorite team or that you are passionate about some sport.
Guys like to discuss their favorite players or watch games with friends. Find a sport you enjoy and focus on that. You don't have to know every detail, you just have to be passionate about it
Step 6. Burp freely
Guys generally think body noises are fun. You may enjoy the idea of how far you can push yourself. Don't be ashamed of adopting the behaviors most kids do.
- Challenge him to a burp contest and joke like all his male friends do.
- The fallen myth that girls have no physiological functions or that they cannot afford to be witty, crude or intelligent, is obsolete and even harmful when a relationship is established between a man and a woman. Show him that you are not a strange and unusual being, but a person just like him, that you can feel comfortable when you are together and that you are just yourself.
Step 7. Meet him at the bar for an aperitif
It is a good opportunity to get to know him in a social context. Invite your friends and tell them to invite theirs. It's a fun and light-hearted situation, a far cry from what a date can be.
Step 8. Change your opinion on boys
Don't assume that a boy and a girl can't become friends. It's easy to get swayed by sexist clichés, but try to think of him as someone with his own ideas about friendship. You should broaden your perspective and enjoy his company.
Step 9. Keep in mind that guys are likely to establish a relationship
According to some studies, guys don't rule out the possibility of having a romance with their female friends. It may seem daunting at first that you are not getting the kind of attention you want, but time may be on your side.
A guy may not find his peer attractive at first, but as time passes and he comes to realize how smart, funny, and likable she is, a different and stronger interest may develop in him
Step 10. Avoid pressure
Studies show that when a platonic friendship turns into a romantic relationship, both boys and girls can be scorned by their peers. Don't feel like you have to do something that makes you uncomfortable. Be direct with your friends and let them know that their jokes and pressures can hurt.
Guys can sometimes be laughed at by friends because a female friendship doesn't lead to another kind of relationship. In this case the friendship between opposite sexes is not considered as that between two men, because in the first case the man can get to expose himself and confide in a woman
Part 2 of 3: Repress Your Feelings
Step 1. Hide your true emotions
If he talks to you about his latest love affair or what's going on with his girlfriend, offer your support. First of all, you are a friend. Focus on the hope of building a romantic relationship. At worst you will have a close friend to be happy about.
Step 2. Don't lose self-control
It's okay to express your desires, but taking action by being carried away by emotions can lead to some problems. Try to become aware of what you are feeling before expressing it, otherwise you risk losing a beautiful friendship.
Step 3. Prepare to handle embarrassment
Many movies and TV shows tell love stories between friends that turn out to be a mistake or end up in total embarrassment. If you can't handle this step, it could happen to you too. Try to frame your friendship in a positive way so that it survives any temporary falls. If a feeling arises, embarrassment will be inevitable unless one of you tells the other how you feel.
Step 4. Go out as a group
Nobody better get the wrong idea. Seeing you together alone, people may ask you if you are a couple. Limit the time you spend together in public. When you can, try to involve other people.
Cinema is a great idea, but eating together can create some ambiguity and give others a reason to gossip
Step 5. Prepare to accept frankness
Guys can be brutally honest, so be prepared to welcome the harshest and most direct opinions and comments. For example, if you ask a guy what he thinks about your look, you may not appreciate his frankness in giving you his opinion.
Try to behave the same way. If he's brutally honest with you, you can do the same with him too. Put him at ease and let him know that he can trust you as if you were one of his male friends
Step 6. Avoid indulging in displays of affection
Don't give in to the temptation to give him a hug or rest your head on his shoulder. If you're too mushy, you risk pushing him away. Don't blur the lines between boyfriend and friend. Wait until you are ready and confident or else you could put him on the defensive.
Step 7. Don't ask or give love advice
Guys don't go into the details of their love life the way girls do, so don't expect her to open up from that point of view. Avoid talking about your relationships; if he feels anything about you, it could be confusing. Try to keep conversations platonic.
If you tell him about your love life, he may think that you only consider him as a friend. If he's dating another girl, you risk making judgments and speaking badly about her. Don't deny him the chance to have his own adventures. Don't make him choose between you and someone else
Step 8. Avoid acting like you are his girlfriend if you are not
Avoid being too cute or flirting with him. Tell him when he's acting like an idiot or doing something inappropriate. Compliment him when he's being a friend and scold him when he's not.
Step 9. Don't take advantage of his vulnerability
If he is going through a rather critical period, for example after a breakup or the disappearance of a relative, do not use the situation to start a relationship with him. He will feel exploited and annoyed.
Unlike girls, boys can feel flattered to know that a friend likes them. Girls, on the other hand, can get upset and suffer because they lose confidence
Step 10. Avoid making comparisons
Don't compare yourself to the girl he likes or his current girlfriend. You will only feed anxiety and frustration. Don't act like a jealous girlfriend if you're just friends.
Do not change your way of being because you think that in this way you will be able to conquer it. You won't make him fall in love with you. Defend your dignity and be yourself
Step 11. Don't make assumptions
Don't try to convince yourself of something that doesn't exist. He may tell you that he loves you but only as a friend, or that he only sees himself next to you on a remote possibility and not right now. Avoid this embarrassment.
If he already has other ambiguous relationships, he may "want his cake and eat it". Make sure he has no interest in other girls or is not seriously engaged
Part 3 of 3: Stand by
Step 1. Get the signs
Did he introduce you to all his friends and stop talking about other girls in your presence? Does he want to spend more time alone with you and organize outings that almost look like dating? It may give you a series of signals, so be careful.
Do you always stress that you are single and often choose suitable places for a real date? He may change his body language and look a lot cuter than usual or even start acting like he's your boyfriend and ask questions to understand how you feel about him
Step 2. Make sure you both know what you want
What may seem obvious to you may seem vague and confusing to yours. Therefore, you must have a very clear idea of your friendship and the possibility of starting a romance.
The world does not fall if you realize that it is not a good idea. It's best not to lose a friendship by trying to force a relationship
Step 3. Tell him how you feel
If you don't want him to consider you as one of his friends or just a fleeting adventure, let him know how you feel. Be direct and completely honest. The secret is to communicate openly.
Be honest because whatever kind of relationship you want to safeguard won't last if the truth comes out. Also, if you are honest with yourself, you will be able to manage your expectations
Step 4. Tell him if you are seeing someone else
You cannot protect his feelings or yours. If you let him know that there is another person in your life, he will be able to better understand how he feels about you. Don't be shifty and don't allow him to be vague about your connections.
You do not have to hide if you have sex because, if a physical passion arises between you, you must protect yourself from any sexually transmitted diseases
Step 5. Be honest
Laugh at it if he doesn't reciprocate your feelings. The longer you repress what you feel, the harder it will be to stay friends with him. It is preferable not to start a friendship or romance based on a lie.
Step 6. Prepare for the consequences
If you plan to change your relationship, imagine the possibilities. Depending on the dynamics on which your friendship is based, the other person may react in different ways. She may feel flattered, embarrassed, angry, or amused.
Step 7. Be patient
If you expose yourself and receive rejection at first, let time take its course. If he's a true friend, he'll support you, listen to what you have to say, and think about what's best for you. He won't hurt you, and if he does, it went well for you because it wouldn't have been worth it to become his girlfriend or have him as a friend.
Advice
- Be yourself in his presence.
- Do not expose yourself too much because you only risk embarrassing yourself.
- Have the courage to speak up and be yourself.
- Talk to his friends as you would your own. Be sociable and open to everything.
Warnings
- Don't change for anyone. If she doesn't appreciate your personality, then she doesn't appreciate you when you are yourself either.
- Don't address certain topics, such as sex, if he's too shy to talk about it.
