It's not easy to win back your ex boyfriend, but it's not impossible either. If you go away for a while, identify the cause of your breakup and try to improve yourself, you will have a lot of chances.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Step away
Step 1. Take a break, even if you feel like seeing it again
If you call him incessantly, follow him and try to talk to him all the time, you will annoy him. Step away and stop dating him altogether, at least for a few weeks. Do you go to school together? Make sure you spend more time with other peers.
- Stop texting and phoning him, even if you think of something that reminds you of him.
- Try not to listen to him, even when you're hanging out with your mutual friends. If you meet at a party, you don't have to be rude to him: say hello and then hang out with others.
- Walking away doesn't mean being rude. You can talk to him when you meet him, but don't monopolize his attention.
Step 2. Think about what went wrong
During the breakup, you will be able to consider the problems of the relationship. You won't be able to start being with him again unless you first understand what mistakes have been made. This could be an easily resolvable difficulty, or not. Here are some common mistakes:
- Maybe you were too jealous or you always controlled him, and he, at some point, couldn't take it anymore.
- Maybe you didn't spend a lot of time together.
- Maybe he felt you didn't love him enough.
- Maybe he thought you were too clingy.
- Perhaps a situation has changed, perhaps caused by the transfer of one of the two.
- Maybe you did nothing but fight and didn't get along.
Step 3. Once you have defined the problem (s), think about how to change the situation
If you don't change anything, it won't work between you.
- If you tended to control him or were jealous or too bossy, you will need to change a part of your personality and show him that you can change the dynamics of the relationship if you start being together again.
- If you were always arguing, you will have to think about how to compromise.
- If his personality was causing the problem, you can help him change, provided he is willing to. Remember that this path is long, and you don't necessarily have to be patient to reach the final goal.
Step 4. Work on yourself, especially if you were the cause of the breakup
Spend time alone and with your friends. Write a list of the three main flaws you want to change and do something about it. You don't change overnight, but it's the small daily steps that make the difference in the long run.
- If you take quality time to yourself, your ex will start wondering where you are. In fact, if you're distracted from your life, he'll think about you.
- Go out with your friends, hit the gym and pursue your favorite hobbies.
- Spend time alone, but not as much. You won't have to let too much time pass after the breakup, or your ex will continue his life, perhaps with someone else.
Method 2 of 3: Get Noticed Again
Step 1. Let him see you have fun without him
Once you get past the stage described in the previous section, you should give him the opportunity to see you again and be comfortable together. Start going to his own parties or run into him. You don't have to force the situation, but allow him to understand that you are okay.
- If you know he will see you, take care of your look.
- When you meet him, greet him with a smile and be surprised (you were so caught up in the fun that you didn't notice his presence).
Step 2. Make him jealous (optional)
This doesn't work for everyone, but if you know he's going to get jealous about seeing you with another guy, you'll get his attention right away. This doesn't mean you have to hang out with someone else, but just show yourself flirting with others.
Do not overdo it. If he thinks you're actually dating someone else, he might back off. Or who knows, push him to want you even more. You should evaluate his personality before devising such a strategy: what works for one guy doesn't necessarily work for another
Step 3. Make him jealous on social networks
Post your photos with your friends, on the beach or having fun with other guys. Your ex will remember how beautiful and fun you are and will regret the breakup. Don't overdo it - just post pictures once or twice a week.
Do it when you know it will be online, so you know it will see your photos
Step 4. Start dating him and be friendlier to him
Chat with him briefly and chat for 10-20 minutes. Make sure you are the first to leave so as not to hold him back - he will want to talk to you more. Wait for him to invite you for a coffee or ask him if he wants to have a drink with you.
Don't tell him you want to start dating him again, or let him know. Be awesome and friendly - he'll convince himself
Step 5. Let him know that you have changed
If you resume dating once or twice a week, show him that the things he couldn't stand have gone away. If he thought you weren't listening, let him talk more. If he thought you were too dependent on him, show yourself independent.
Don't make this all too obvious. Do not say "Do you see that I am no longer jealous when you talk to others?". Prove it to him with facts and he will figure it out for himself
Step 6. Read the signs
If your ex wants to be with you again, you will know. How did you figure it out the first time? It will likely send you the same signals back. If she flirts with you, tells you you're beautiful, touches you lightly or always asks you what you do or if you're dating someone else, then yes, she's likely to want to start dating you again.
- Look at his body language. Does he look you in the eye, tries to get close to you and his face lights up when he sees you? Then he wants to go back with you.
- If he wants you to be friends, then he won't seem fond or affectionate towards you.
- Check her Facebook profile to find out if she is dating someone else. Maybe he's nice to you just because he wants you to be friends.
Step 7. Start dating him again, but don't rush
If he flirts with you and lets you know that he wants you to be a couple again, he can invite you out. In any case, if you are sure, you can dare and ask him yourself.
- This time, take it easy. Don't go out more than a couple of times a week. Work on building a solid foundation instead of picking up where you left off.
- If you were not very independent before, you should try to be more independent. Don't build your life around your boyfriend, see your friends too and spend time alone.
Method 3 of 3: Keep It Tight This Time
Step 1. Don't make the same mistakes
Remember the post-breakup period of reflection? Well, remember what went wrong and prevent it from happening again. If you fought too much, calm down when you want to. If you were not nice to his friends, be kinder - your boyfriend is worth it.
If he was the one who made the most serious mistakes, kindly remind him of what caused the breakup of the previous relationship
Step 2. Don't control yourself too much
You will need to try to avoid making the same mistakes, but don't just think about how not to cause conflict. If you are too afraid of losing it every time you do something, you will not be able to live in the moment.
If you fear that the relationship may end again, your ex will understand this, and he will feel uncertain too
Step 3. Start from scratch
Don't think that this is the second part of your relationship: you are starting over, without baggage. You don't have to erase the past, but you don't have to think about it all the time either. Of course, when good memories come to your mind, you can talk about them, but, in principle, leave again.
This time you will be able to see everything from a different perspective
Step 4. Don't forget to be yourself
It's important to work on your flaws, but you don't have to change completely for another person, you have to do it for yourself first. Remember that he liked you even before (even if you had some flaws), don't change completely, or he won't recognize you.
In short, there is a certain difference between wanting to improve and completely changing one's personality. Correct your mistakes but don't turn yourself into another one for the sake of the relationship
Step 5. Recognize when it doesn't work
If you're back together but feel like something is wrong, don't force the relationship. Two incompatible people shouldn't be together if they are suffering. If the same problems reappear or you are not happy, perhaps it is better to close once and for all.
- Be honest with yourself. If you've tried them all but it doesn't work, you better say goodbye.
- Be proud of yourself for trying. At least now you are sure that he is not the right person for you, so you will not live in regret, but you will know what to look for.
Advice
- Don't be too insistent if he doesn't want to know.
- If he doesn't want to be with you, don't suffer. As they say, it is he who loses us. Work on yourself and the right one will come.
Warnings
- Make sure you don't do stupid things to get her attention - control yourself.
- Don't try too hard.
