Being tough is more than being a braggart. Determined people handle difficult situations with strength and grace. They remain positive instead of letting cynicism take over and are the ones who offer to help when someone needs to take control. In fact, every problem you face is an opportunity to get stronger. The next time you run into a tough obstacle, will you falter and lose heart or choose to be tough?
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Have a steadfast mindset
Step 1. Increase your self-esteem
Being tough and having self-confidence go hand in hand. Being tough comes down to the choices you make about how to handle each situation. Having confidence in yourself makes it possible to make the right choice and follow through. If you're not sure if you're capable of taking on a challenge, your self-esteem probably needs a boost.
- Learn to recognize your true opinions, instead of being swayed by what other people think. Trust in your ability to handle a situation the right way.
- Don't compare yourself to other people. It's a trap many of us fall into all the time, but comparing yourself to others weakens your self-esteem. Next time you have to make a decision, look inside yourself.
- Learn to say no. People will respect your opinion more if you really say what you think. Always make eye contact when you say no so they know you're safe.
Step 2. Maintain balance under pressure
Do you lose control or burst into tears when something makes you angry or upsets you? Being tough doesn't mean not having emotions, but keeping them in check so you can think clearly and make rational decisions. Start learning to govern yourself if you tend to react strongly to unwelcome news.
- Before you do anything, take a deep breath and count to ten. This is a well known trick to keep you together and it really works. After 10 seconds, the first wave of emotions will calm down a bit.
- Channel your energy instead of venting it on other people. Some ways to positively vent your emotions are exercising, journaling, and meditating.
Step 3. Don't worry about the little things
If you want to be tough, you can't let disappointing news or negative comment ruin your day. If every little challenge makes you feel like you're about to fall apart, you won't have the energy left to make strong choices about bigger issues. Work to develop harder skin.
- Worrying excessively about the judgment of others is a waste of time. Surely others will not always agree with you and will judge your decisions sometimes; it's their problem. As long as what you're doing doesn't hurt anyone, you're good to go.
- Don't be a hothead. Traffic, queues at the post office or other hassle is not worth losing your temper. If you can't handle sending a package without having a nervous breakdown, how are you going to handle a real problem?
Step 4. Achieve your goals
We all have goals, but achieving them is another story entirely. Most of the goals they really deserve require hours of hard and monotonous work to achieve. If you want to be tough, you need to be prepared to put in the time and effort needed to accomplish your goals.
- Divide your goals into manageable steps, and set a roadmap for completing them. This way you will know exactly what needs to be done to get to the end.
- Be ruthlessly stubborn. If you give up before you reach your goal, you are letting yourself down. Don't allow yourself to lose interest or get tired of working hard.
Step 5. Pull yourself up after making a mistake
Making mistakes is an inevitable part of life. Strong people use their mistakes as a tool to learn how to do better next time. If you tend to let your mistakes get the better of you, or worse, blame someone else every time something goes wrong, try to take a different approach to your mistakes.
Admit when you've done something wrong. It is a misconception that to be tough you have to act like you are always right. In fact, the opposite is true: strong people are ready to endure the discomfort of admitting responsibility for their mistakes
Step 6. Have an optimistic attitude
You don't have to be sunny and cheerful all the time, but having an optimistic point of view generally goes hand in hand with being tough. Being confident about what the future holds for us is an advantage when life gets difficult. People who complain a lot and feel cynical about the future are not able to react so well in the face of a negative situation or anguish.
Part 2 of 3: Coping with Life Situations
Step 1. Face reality
Don't try to avoid difficult situations by running away or pretending they aren't happening. The ability to face reality head on will help you make more practical decisions that will ultimately lead to positive change. If you bury your head in the sand, your problems will only continue to get worse.
Resist the temptation to ignore your problems by indulging in evasive behavior. Using drugs or alcohol, watching too much TV, standing all night on the Internet, gambling, and other similar behaviors will make it harder for you to see reality clearly
Step 2. Consider your options carefully
For every situation you come across, you have a choice to make. It is up to you to decide how you will react and what actions you should take. Sometimes the right choice is obvious, other times it seems impossible to distinguish right from wrong. Taking the time to think carefully will help you make the right decision.
Let's say you get bad news: you have not been admitted to the program you applied for. What are the possible paths you can take from here? What is the wrong way to react? Which is the right one?
Step 3. Get advice from wise people
It is not synonymous with weakness to admit that you need advice. The opinion of other people can be invaluable when you are faced with a new situation. Ask people you trust what they would do in your situation. Remember, however, that in the end only you can decide the best path. The opinions of others are secondary to your values.
- Trusted friends and family members are the people you need to trust when making a big decision. Take their advice with a grain of salt, though, as people who know you, even if they love you very much, may have their own interest in the decisions you make. For example, your mother may prefer that you not move to another city, her advice on which university to choose may be influenced by her emotions.
- Going to a therapist or counselor is a good idea when you believe that a professional opinion could be helpful.
Step 4. Let your conscience guide you
That little inner voice that tells you what choices to make will grow higher and stronger with the experience and wisdom you are gaining. After examining a situation from all points of view and obtaining some outside opinion, it is time to act according to your values. Being tough means acting with honor and courage, no matter how scary it may be.
Step 5. Don't give in (unless you have to)
Once you have made your decision, carry it through and stick to your values. A difficult decision to make is often the least popular, so there will be times when it will seem like others are against you. Stay strong when they try to break you down for doing what you think is right.
There are exceptions to this rule - such as when the action you have taken is really wrong. Don't automatically get defensive if you are accused of being wrong. Think carefully about what happened and decide if you still agree with your actions. If you realize it would have been better to do something else, admit it
Part 3 of 3: Keeping fit
Step 1. Maintain a good physical condition
Being physically strong and healthy is also beneficial to your mind. If you are always tired and out of shape, it will be much more difficult to deal with the problems that arise. Don't overlook the health of your body if your goal is to be tough.
- Get plenty of sleep. This will keep your body healthy and help you stay mentally alert. Aim for 7-8 hours per night. Make it a priority!
- Eat lots of fruit and vegetables. Making it a mainstay of your diet will provide you with the vitamins and nutrients you need for your mind to be strong.
- Exercise. A cardio and resistance workout will keep your body and mind in good shape.
- Relieve tension and stress. If your world is cluttered with millions of things to do, it will affect your ability to make good decisions.
Step 2. Create strong bonds with other people
The strength lies in the number. It is easier to build a wall around you than to open up and establish deep relationships with other people. It is no easy feat to earn and maintain people's trust. It may sound strange, but showing vulnerability to others is actually an important part of being tough.
- Show your family, friends and colleagues that you are reliable and trustworthy. Answer emails and calls right away and be there when someone needs you.
- Take the lead in your community. You could offer some of your time to help others, coach a small league team, start a neighborhood garden, and so on. Show interest in your community!
Step 3. Enrich your spiritual life
Having an active spiritual life will help you get the right perspective when your problems threaten to consume you. Find a way to become more aware of your spirituality and connected to the rest of the world. Doing yoga, meditating, participating in a cult, and spending time in nature are good ways to enrich yourself spiritually.
Step 4. Stay true to your values
Ultimately, being tough comes down to knowing your values and acting accordingly. Understanding this will help stave off petty offenses and keep you from getting involved in a drama. It will help you understand what is really important to you and set your goals. More importantly, it will help you choose boldly to do the right thing.
Advice
- Look people in the eye when you talk to them.
- Don't allow your "tough guy" to turn into aggression, stay in control.
- Speak in a medium to high tone of voice. No one will listen to you if you are too quiet and quiet and no one will pay attention to you if you speak too loudly.
- You don't want to convey to others the image that you are crazy, so avoid making weird faces or yelling.
Warnings
- Realize that people will not always do what you ask them to do for their reasons. Make sure you listen if they are trying to tell you something or else they won't listen to you either.
- Don't be selfish. There is a significant difference between being confident and being presumptuous.
- Threatening people makes things worse and will get you in trouble.
- Don't talk too loud or it will sound like you're screaming.
