To be a tough girl, you need to be authentic and confident. You can learn to change your life in a positive way by becoming the person you've always wanted to be and letting your self-esteem change the way others see you. Amplify the real version of you. Become a tough girl.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Gaining Confidence
Step 1. Develop a vision of yourself and your future
What does it mean to be tough in your world? What parts of your personality do you need to change? Imagine yourself as the character you want to become. What's different about the way you move, behave or dress?
- Imagine the character you want to become. What changes from the current reality? Do you talk more or less? Do you dress differently or the same? Where do you live? What do you do? Who are your friends?
- Think of icons you'd like to emulate. Are you more Madonna or Joan Jett? Joni Mitchell or Janis Joplin? Angelina Jolie or Judi Dench? There are tons of badass women you can get inspired by.
Step 2. Inspired by your vision
Once you have imagined the character you want to become, the best way to make small changes is to inspire your actions with your vision. It may sound silly to you, but try to move, act, and even think like this badass version of yourself. Start with small gestures and gradually work your way up to more significant changes.
- Tough girls exude confidence in everything they do. Let yourself be guided by that security. Try walking through the corridors of the school being yourself. Now try to do it again in your tough version. Create the change you want to achieve.
- If it helps, pick one of your icons, like Angelina or Janis, and walk all day like she would. Dress as she would dress, consistent with your wardrobe. For every situation you find yourself in, try to speak as she would.
Step 3. Develop your passions
What do you want from life? What are your goals. Tough girls don't get carried away by the current. They take control of their own lives and get what they want. If you don't know what you want or how to get it, it will get harder.
If the concept of "passion" seems too complicated to you, just think about your interests. What do you like to do? Where do you imagine yourself in five, ten or thirty years?
Step 4. Stop waiting for permission
Tough girls don't wait to find out if what they want to do is okay. To be tough, you have to act on your resolve and intelligence, achieving your goals regardless of what others say.
- Behaviors aimed at obtaining the consent of others are not tough. Decide for yourself, without being selfish, but simply confident.
- Of course, if you still go to school or are a minor, you have to respect some rules, so that you don't see your goals stray. The challenge will be learning how to handle those rules while remaining the assertive person you want to be.
Step 5. Get out of your head
Badass girls are thoughtful, but they aren't prisoners of their mind. It is important to remember that you need to live openly and let your inner light shine. Imagine and create your character tough, but make sure you use it in the real world instead of living a fantasy.
- Don't be afraid to say what you think. If a tough girl has something to say, she always does.
- Create a story for your life that includes your tough character at the center. Consider yourself the protagonist and narrator of the film dedicated to you.
Step 6. Relax
Tough girls are at peace with their world. You have to be steadfast, immovable and above everything. If you could do just one thing to become tougher, you should learn to stay calm under pressure and give the impression that you are not weighed down by the unnecessary worries that your peers have. You don't care about trends, fashions or what the crowd thinks. You move to the rhythm of your drum, which beats with great relaxation.
Bad girls aren't cold, emotionless robots either. Show your passion when it comes to doing so. Try to reflect the atmosphere you see. If everyone is excited, stay calm. If no one gets upset, revive the situation. Oppose normalcy
Part 2 of 3: Becoming a Bad Girl
Step 1. Speak first in conversations, but don't do it too much
Thanks to this advice you get several goals. First you can initiate the dialogue and control it as you see fit. You make the rules. Talking less also helps you not seem too worried or involved. It's not worth arguing.
- Once you've taken control of the conversation and set the rules, step back and relax. Let others do the talking. Listen carefully and show genuine interest in what is being said, even if it doesn't affect you.
- If you need to intervene, do it calmly and decisively. Take the scene by saying "I have something to say," then pause for five or ten seconds. Everyone will hang on your lips.
Step 2. Rely only on yourself
There is nothing hard about asking everyone for help. Of course this depends a lot on where you are and what you do, but it's important to try to be as capable and self-sufficient as possible. You are not a helpless damsel, you are a tough girl who knows how to take care of herself.
If you need help, don't be conspicuous. Don't let everyone see that you can't do something on your own. Be proud of getting the results with your hands alone
Step 3. Help the other girls
Don't keep your tough character all to yourself. Who knows how to be altruistic, helping those in need, turns out to be a mature, interesting and admirable person. Don't promote the cliché that girls hate each other. Treat your friends well and find many.
If you go to school, protect younger kids and commit to hanging out with people who don't have many friends. Has a new girl just moved in? Spend some time with her. A student doesn't speak your language well? Try talking to him. This is tough behavior
Step 4. Take calculated risks
Badass girls aren't afraid to do something without the guarantee of success. They don't just live in a safe and hushed world, they are willing to take risks to achieve great results and stand out from others. Discuss with the teacher when he presents a topic worth discussing. Shut up the class bully when he takes it out on a smaller boy. Apply for a scholarship you are not sure you will get. Try joining the volleyball team. Do not be afraid to fail.
"Calculated risk" does not mean "dangerous behavior". A calculated risk is to ask a bartender to hang out with you when you order a drink and risk rejection, not getting drunk and driving your dad's car. The difference between being tough and being stupid is very big
Step 5. Be authentic
Being tough is neither a mask nor a stereotype. It is not a disguise, a fashion, a make-up or the female equivalent of an "alpha male". We recognize badass girls because they are authentic versions of themselves. Other people should say "She's really tough" because you do what you like, not because you want to have a certain reputation.
Part 3 of 3: Having a tough look
Step 1. Choose your clothing
Tough girls don't follow fashions or trends. They choose the look they prefer. They can look fresh from a ranch, with short hair and cowboy boots, or a divas, with huge sunglasses and Vogue cover t-shirts. Your style should amplify your personality, not change it.
- Match your style to your real life. If you are part of the working class, with rough hands and broken nails, accept it. Appropriate that style.
- Dress like your vision of yourself. If you want to change your life in a positive way, the right clothes can help you have the right mindset. Look at your wardrobe and choose the clothes your reference point would wear.
Step 2. Wear clothes that make you feel powerful
The clothes you wear change your mood and are able to amplify your personality. If your look doesn't reflect the person you want to be, make an external change that will affect the inside. Choose clothing boldly, if you wish, or prefer comfort.
Try on all the clothes you have. Which ones really make you feel like yourself? Which ones make you feel safe? Sexy? Powerful? Tough? Put them on
Step 3. Renew the wardrobe
Throw away items that don't make you feel bad. It's easy to collect piles of clothes over the years, and it's just as easy to throw out the ones that don't fuel your self-esteem. If you only have clothes that make you feel confident and powerful, you will always feel tough and this will affect your behavior.
Step 4. Stop following fashion
Trends lead you to look stylish in other people's eyes, not yours. You can waste all your time browsing fashion magazines for the new trend that's hitting next month, or you can use it for tough girl activities. Trying to anticipate fashion is not too bad.
If you really care about fashion and trends, go ahead and follow them. However, don't think you have to do it just to integrate. This doesn't mean being tough, but letting others influence you
Step 5. Look people in the eye
One of the best ways to look tough while hanging out is to make eye contact. This helps you look confident and powerful in your social interactions and people will notice your piercing gaze.
