Have you ever wanted to get stronger? Assert yourself when you really need it? Say what you really think? You can learn to be like that. Thanks to this article, you can become the girl of character you've always dreamed of being.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Think Like a Real Hard
Step 1. Be truly yourself
If you want to be tough, you have to first accept yourself for who you are. If you'd rather stay up late reading science fiction novels rather than watching the current TV show, go ahead. If some people think something is funny, but you don't, what's the problem? Pretending to be someone else is a sign of insecurity or weakness. Others can see it easily, and if someone were to point it out to you, you definitely won't look like a girl of character.
Step 2. Cultivate your self-esteem
This step goes hand in hand with the first. If you have learned to accept yourself, then you have laid the foundation necessary to believe in yourself. What does all this have to do with you wanting to be tough? Easy: if you are confident and feel good in your own skin, then you can handle any situation you will face with determination. You will be confident in your opinions and the decisions you will make. You won't be afraid to share them with others. Here are some strategies for cultivating higher self-esteem:
- Write a list of what you admire about yourself, your strengths and achievements. To do this, take a blank sheet of paper, place it horizontally and fold it into three parts, or draw two vertical lines to create three columns. In each column, write at least five things you love about yourself, at least five things you think you can do well, and at least five achievements you are proud of. Do you think you have a beautiful smile? Can you make others laugh when they feel down? Are you proud that you have helped the homeless for an entire afternoon? Write down everything that comes to mind. Review the list often to remind yourself that you are awesome.
- Think of yourself positively. Identify a couple of strengths (maybe take a cue from the list) and think about them often. Another tip: take negative thoughts and change them. If you think "I hate my physical appearance", try saying, "I have beautiful eyes" instead.
- Dress in a way that makes you feel better about yourself. If you think your wardrobe doesn't really reflect you or doesn't suit you, look for suitable clothes. Grab your favorite shirt and look for similar ones. Choose clothing items that enhance the parts of your body you like best; if you have nice legs, wear shorts or look for a dress that allows you to flaunt them. The second section of this article will tell you how to update your wardrobe to reflect your new personality.
- Exercise regularly. Every day, go for a walk or jog. Start playing sports or sign up for an interesting course. This will help you feel better about yourself, plus seeing your muscles grow stronger will help you feel even more of a real tough guy.
Step 3. Stop worrying about what others think
The really tough ones don't care at all, because they know something very important: a person's opinion has nothing to do with who they really are. These girls don't measure their worth based on the opinions of others. Once you learn to care less about what others think, you will gain more power in difficult situations and you will become stronger.
Step 4. Don't take things personally
If you learn to avoid it, you will become better at dealing with rejection and criticism. Most girls who consider themselves weak think they can't handle difficult situations. Being a real tough guy means being able to get through tough times. Consequently, when someone is on a warpath with you, stay calm. Don't be upset. Act like you're wasting your time.
Step 5. Learn to control your emotions
Being a real tough guy doesn't mean looking unpleasant or having huge biceps: it means being able to deal with everything that happens to you, and cultivating an inner calm that is impenetrable by others. You can be tough all day, but if you tend to get nervous easily, your behavior will only be seen as a facade.
Step 6. Surround yourself with friends who have character
If you want to become a real tough guy, you need to be in contact with people of character who can give you advice and support you in your time of need. You can learn from them by listening to them and observing how they impose themselves when the going gets tough.
Step 7. Try to have a healthy romantic relationship
Such a relationship allows you to actually gauge your strength of character. In a couple, one member usually takes on a more dominant role than the other. It is good to make sure that the dynamics of the relationship are healthy.
- Observe how you behave with your boyfriend. Have you noticed that the choice of activities to do, films to see or foods to eat is mainly based on your tastes? In this case, you need to get involved and take a more assertive role as a partner.
- To be more decisive in the relationship, start defining what you like. If you prefer a burger instead of sushi, tell your boyfriend. If you want to watch a romantic comedy and not a thriller, suggest that they take turns choosing the movies. Healthy relationships are balanced. You and your partner need to carve out a fair amount of time to find out about the interests of both of you together.
- If you disagree, don't think you need to shout and throw tantrums to show strength of character. Tell him that you recognize his emotions or point of view, but you also need to be honest and open about your feelings and needs. State your views directly, without apologizing.
Part 2 of 3: Looking Real Hard
Step 1. Don't smile
Tough girls are certainly not known for having a bubbly personality. Having a frown helps you not smile. To take it, bite the insides of the cheeks: this will bring down the corners of the lips.
Step 2. Renew the wardrobe
If it currently consists mainly of colorful dresses or floral prints, you need to change it.
- Black cannot be missing in the wardrobe of a real hard girl. You could dress completely in black or create combinations where this is the prevailing color. Wear ripped denim and clothes with skulls and bones.
- Choose ripped jeans and clothing featuring gloomy images.
- If you don't already have them, be sure to buy a biker jacket and a pair of leather boots.
- Bring accessories with character. The accessories allow you to compose a combination and help to emphasize your image as a real tough. Bracelets, rings or dresses (such as the collar of a shirt or the sleeves of a jacket) can be embellished with studs. You can also look for jewelry featuring skulls and bones. To complete the look, choose a pair of sunglasses with black frames; hiding your eyes will make you look mysterious and distant.
Step 3. Wear a real tough hairstyle, such as a short crew cut, fauxhawk, or Mohawk
You can shave one side of your head or both. Alternatively, you can dye your hair a flashy color, such as electric blue or purple.
Step 4. Put on your makeup to look even more tough
Choose a bold lip color (preferably dark), dark eyeshadow and volumizing mascara. These colors will darken the expression and give you a tough girl air.
Part 3 of 3: Acting Like a Real Tough
Step 1. Don't talk much
The real tough choose their words carefully and speak only when they have to. Avoiding to express themselves too much, resulting mysterious. People usually fear the mystery. How to communicate non-verbally? Use body language, such as shake your head or make sounds.
Step 2. Try to be assertive
Assertiveness is the essence of a true tough. To be taken seriously and to look like a girl with character, you need to learn to be assertive.
- There are two ways to do this: through body language and through words.
- To show someone you're assertive, stand in front of them, keep your back straight, and look them straight in the eye.
- When you speak, keep calm, but express decision. Make sure you speak directly and honestly. State your point without hesitation or apology.
- To convey determination, start by saying to someone: "Listen…". Express yourself firmly and get straight to the point. When you have finished speaking, ask him: "Did we understand each other?". Wait for me to answer you.
Step 3. Seek authority
When you have to take the reins of a situation, the real hard ones intervene. You have to be willing to act.
- If you are with a group of friends, try to be in front of everyone, so that others understand that you are the leader and that they have to deal with you.
- If you and your friends are being targeted or treated unfairly, speak up.
- Establish yourself by standing in front of a person or entering their personal space. You can do this without expecting the situation to suddenly heat up and come to blows. To be in someone's personal space, you need to be about half a meter away from this person. Once you get close, express yourself firmly.
Step 4. Play sports to channel your aggression and learn to stand up for yourself
Physical activity is great for strengthening you physically and mentally. Not only will you have a stronger body, you will also develop the discipline necessary to handle difficult situations.
- Lift weights to tone your body and build muscle mass.
- Sign up for a self-defense class, such as kickboxing or martial arts. Not only will you learn to protect yourself better, you will also be able to make new friends with strong and characterful girls.
- Try a contact sport, such as women's rugby, roller derby, or football.
- Do activities that inspire you to do your best. Being a real tough guy means having the ability to handle various situations and resist even when you step out of your comfort zone. Marathons allow you to gain experience in this regard. If you're just starting out, sign up for a 5K run. If you want to challenge yourself even more or are looking for a more adventurous experience, look for a themed marathon, such as obstacle and mud racing.
Step 5. Look for a real tough job
You could become a police officer, bounty hunter, self-defense instructor, or work in the military. With any of these professions, no one will ever accuse you of being a sucker. All you need to do is to reach an optimal state from a physical point of view. There will also be times when you need to be aggressive and handle conflict situations.
Advice
- Choose your friends wisely. They need to have personal opinions, but also be willing to help you.
- Being tough doesn't mean you have to give up all your female hobbies. If you like to knit, do it; if you love ballet, don't give up.
- If you consider yourself very feminine, continue to be. You can be true to yourself and still have character.
- Above all, remember that being a girl of character doesn't mean being unpleasant. Acting like a bully is by no means a sign of strength; it just shows that you are weak. If a person targets you, ignore them. This will make it clear that you are stronger than bullies.
- Make sure that at least part of your look is neglected. You can wear your hair unkempt, avoid wearing makeup, let your nails grow uncared for or with chipped nail polish. Your appearance must speak for you - you don't care what other people think.
- You can still be the same person as ever, with the only exception that you are now able to defend yourself if someone is looking for mange. You don't have to dress in a way that intimidates others.
Warnings
- Don't act like a bulla. Such an attitude has nothing to do with strength of character.
- Skipping school, drinking alcohol, smoking, and taking drugs doesn't make you tough. Don't hang out with people who encourage these activities.
- There will be someone who will try to target you anyway, but remember that the best thing to do is ignore it.
