Has your beautiful wife been doing nothing but grumbling and condescending for some time? Are you tired of listening to the sighs and constant criticism she addresses as she talks, more than anything else, alone? While some women become unhappy around their husbands over the years, a nagging wife is a serious problem that needs to be addressed quickly and decisively. Here are some methods that will tell you how to deal with the new, bad habits your wife has developed.
Steps
Step 1. Show her how you spend your time
Explain that you think she has a distorted image of how you spend time and that you hope this will help her to clarify her ideas about how you manage your time and give yourself priorities. Make a list of the activities you do every day on both work and weekdays. Stick these two lists (which should also include times) on the refrigerator door, but don't tell her directly that you put them there.
- Also indicate the hours of leisure, entertainment and relaxation and justify them. Just because she may feel overwhelmed by all the things she thinks require immediate attention does not mean that you necessarily have to agree with her or that you have to make her believe you are and that her claims are reasonable. This would not be wise.
- Tell her how you manage priorities and defend your reasoning. Refuse to do what she asks of you in order to shut her up if you feel you can't handle it all. If she has a real problem with you, she will soon find some other behavior or aspect of your personality with which to pester you. It would not be a good idea to try to compromise with a woman who does nothing but mortify you.
Step 2. Speak out loud, not in your head
When your wife comes to you and asks you to do this or that, tell her clearly your intentions and tell her if you want to do what she asks of you or not. If she starts complaining and accuses you of never pleasing her, remind her that you are her husband, not her child. Reaffirm your intentions and be firm; sooner or later, the tears will stop pouring and the threats are unanswerable.
Step 3. Tell her that she has become very intolerant and hostile towards you
There are no good enough reasons for a wife to be so rude to her husband. You are both adults and you should always treat each other with great respect for each other. If she shows contempt for you and treats you disrespectfully, you need to talk to her and let her know how her behavior is impacting you and how you feel about her. A simple "well, this is very unpleasant to say," in response to a rudely asked question should be enough, but if it isn't, take a few seconds and explain to her that she is hurting both you and your relationship; ask her to find another way to deal with her personal frustrations.
Step 4. Adjust accordingly
A loving wife can turn into a hag gradually or overnight; try to change your attitude to cope with this new bad habit of your wife. If she waits for you in the living room every day to yell at you when you get home from work, use the back door to get into the house. If she asks you for an explanation, be honest and tell her you are doing it to prevent her from welcoming you back from work with an avalanche of requests. Tell her you've decided to avoid her until she learns to treat you the way she would like to be treated when she's tired after a long day at work. If she insists, grab a change of clothes and take them with you to the office the next day and make sure she sees you doing it. Change your clothes after work, then go home and continue your day as usual. This will help you avoid being cornered by her in the minutes it takes to change your clothes when you get home. Show her that the way she has chosen to interact with you is putting a wall between you and making you re-evaluate the quality of the time you spend with her in your home.
Step 5. Answer her in terms that are as concrete as hers
If your wife does nothing but play the part of the victim and insists on accusing you of doing nothing to help around the house or improve your situation, add another list of things you do to contribute to your life together and stick it on the fridge.. Insisting that your contributions are recognized can help you reason and have a more realistic picture of your life together. If she criticizes your lists, stress that despite what she may think, which is that her needs come first, you have to manage your time and the moments you have to relax during the day.
Step 6. Go to counter
If your wife, after the insults, adds comments or threats about the possibility of asking for a separation or divorce, tell her that a temporary separation is something you might consider, but that you are not sure if you can put your marriage back together. the mean way he treated you. End the discussion and let her think about it. If she were to tell you that, if you want, you are free to leave, point out that the idea of a separation was hers, not yours.
Step 7. Be proactive
When your wife wants to talk about something, stop her and remind her of the list of chores or jobs she recently assigned to you. Tell her she should take care of those matters herself before taking a break to talk. If she complains, tell her that the way you are treating her is the same way she is treating you. In case she still doesn't give up, remind her that it's her list and that if she thinks it's important enough to get into a fight with you to get you to do those tasks, it will be important enough for her to take care of it in person now that she has time. free.
Step 8. Correct it
If your wife stares at the ceiling when you are talking, interrupt her and tell her to focus on you or you will interrupt the conversation there. Use exclamations like "Wow!", "How rude you are!" and "Now is too much!" in response to his accusations and stinging comments. Shake your head as you physically walk away to make it clear that you have no intention of listening to her until she decides to be civil and reasonable.
Step 9. Ask her to leave
If your wife does not stop attacking and disheartening you, ask her to leave the house for a while, or permanently. Suggest that she go see a movie or take a walk to clear up her mind or pack her suitcase and go hang out with someone else to give yourself a break. If a wife decides that she no longer wants her husband in her life, attacking him could be a strategy to exasperate him and force him to leave; remind her that she is free to leave if she is unhappy with you, but that the house belongs to both of you and that you intend to continue living there. Reaffirm your position by refusing to leave the house during an argument. Your goal should be to have a loving home where you can be happy, even if she is no longer a part of it.
Advice
- The children in the house should see and hear your reactions to being treated with hostility by your wife. They should hear you tell her calmly and clearly that you will not tolerate being belittled. Children should be encouraged to be obedient, but everyone in the house needs to understand that you are not a child.
- Never tolerate physical violence. If your wife should attack you, call the police and get her away if possible. File a complaint against her later. Aggressive women will continue to use violence to assert their reasons if it is not immediately made clear that no form of violence can be tolerated.
- If you can't understand why your wife suddenly changed and became aggressive, try talking to her about it. If she gives vague reasons that you can't understand, ask her if she's in a relationship; by doing so, you could save yourself years of confusion and frustration.
Warnings
- Consult with an attorney before deciding to pursue divorce proceedings, especially if you have children.
- Check that you are not short of money. A woman who is considering leaving her husband often becomes impatient before leaving. Complaints are often a way of distracting the husband, as he steals money from under his nose to transfer it to a new account in his name.
