How to Brag Without Being Arrogant: 11 Steps

2024 Author: Samantha Chapman | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 09:13

There is a blurred line between self-promotion and arrogance. In many situations, for example when you are interviewing for a job, wanting to get a raise or a promotion, go out with someone or make new friends, you should talk positively about yourself, without giving the impression that you are belittling the person you are talking to. People tend to feel more attracted, interested, and well-disposed towards those who talk about their strengths and successes, but it can be difficult for you to put yourself in a good light without feeling like you strut too much.

Steps

Method 1 of 2: Promote yourself with Tact

Step 1. Know when to use the self-promotion strategy

There are classic situations that can make you more prone to ostentation. In fact, it can happen when you gain new knowledge, especially during job interviews or first dates. In both of these contexts, you must try to prove your worth to a person who, besides your statements, does not have as much information to form an accurate opinion about you.

• On a first date, you need to impress and entice the other person to get to know you better, but you don't want to make them think you're cocky or arrogant. A valid method? Before voluntarily offering information about yourself, wait for me to ask you some personal questions.
• For example, if this person asked you about your hobbies, you might reply, "I really enjoy running. I started just by jogging in my neighborhood and I steadily and gradually increased the distances I walked. I took part in my first marathon a month ago. And you run? I would like to train in the company of someone ". At a dinner party, this sentence is more personal and less haughty than: "I'm a great athlete. I recently took part in a marathon and finished second among the runners in my age group. This year I will sign up for three more races. ".

Step 2. Talk about shared successes with a team

Posing often is a sign of a certain amount of competitiveness and self-centeredness. However, recognizing that the merit of your accomplishments depends on both you and other people can minimize the chances of being arrogant.

• According to research, people tend to get a better opinion of those who use inclusive language (ie use words like "we" and "team").
• For example, you work in an architectural firm and your team just got a contract for a new building. If so, be sure to use the personal pronoun "we" instead of "I" when talking about this success. "After several months of hard work, we have signed a contract to design and build a new public library. It is a great opportunity for the team", is preferable to: "I have recently signed a fantastic contract to build a new building. It will consolidate the rest of my career ".

Step 3. Be careful when using the pronouns "I" and "me"

Clearly, you need to speak firsthand when circumstances require you to promote yourself, but you should try to emphasize your successes and let your credit do the talking.

• Also, try to avoid a language based on relative or absolute superlatives. Don't say, "I was the best employee my former employer has ever had" or "I was always working harder than any of my colleagues." Extreme claims like these are hardly true. They aren't even for the most renowned people in a field, so they generally seem like mere exaggerations.
• Claims of an evidently megalomaniacal nature made by a person claiming to be the "best" or "greatest" tend to be viewed as a form of ostentation, not a sign of true success (even if they were to be true).
• For example, a phrase like "It was my idea to create a space where employees could talk freely about their concerns" suggests that you put on airs, while "I created a space where employees could speak freely. " is preferable.
• Instead of using superlatives, try to make statements like, "When I was working for my former boss, I always did my best to be dedicated to the profession and show my commitment."

Step 4. Turn a haughty sentence into a positive affirmation

If you use team-first language and talk about your achievements in a more modest way, you can make a good impression and promote yourself without being ostentatious.

• Here's how you can express the same sentence haughtily or in a simple and positive way:

  • Positive version: "Last night my softball team attended the awards ceremony. This last season was fruitful, so everyone was in a great mood. I even received the Player of the Year award. I was blown away! This summer I gave my best on the pitch, but I did it above all to have fun and stay on the move. Receiving an award and recognition was a wonderful surprise. I'm happy to have helped my team to achieve such good results."
  • Haughty version: "Last night my softball team attended the awards ceremony. This past season I played exceptionally well, so I was in a great mood. I got the Player of the Year award. It wasn't a surprise. because I've been precious on the pitch all summer. To be honest, I'm the best and most versatile player the league has ever seen. Next year I'll decide which team to play for, so I'll probably pick a better one. ".

  

  Step 5. When confronted with someone promoting themselves, pay attention to your reaction

  If you still hesitate and don't know how to avoid looking conceited, a good trick is to observe how you react to someone else's behavior. When you notice that a person is striding, think about why they are doing it and how they might rephrase their sentences so as not to appear to be putting on airs of superiority.

  When you happen to have concerns about it, ask yourself, "Am I putting on airs? How do I make sure?"

  Method 2 of 2: Feel Safe

  

  Step 1. Cultivate genuine and solid self-esteem by becoming aware of your positive characteristics

  You can embark on this process by making a detailed list of your achievements, the milestones that have enabled you to achieve them and why you are proud of them.

  • For example, you may be proud of your degree because you were the first in your family to complete a college degree. By the way, you did it by juggling two jobs.
  • This will help you understand that you have indeed achieved good results. It will also allow you to thoroughly analyze your successes.
  • Many people are more generous and sympathetic when they have to praise others while being strict with themselves. To learn to be more objective and overcome this reluctance that prevents you from congratulating yourself, think about your skills and successes from an outside point of view. You can do this by writing positives about yourself in the third person, as if you were writing a letter of recommendation or support for a friend or co-worker.

  

  Step 2. Avoid over-talking

  Arrogant and self-centered people (but also insecure ones) tend to talk and talk about themselves and their qualities, even when their interlocutors stop listening.

  • Learn to identify certain body language cues, such as blank staring, looking at the clock, removing lint from clothing. These clues can tell you that you've gotten boring and need to take a step back. Stop talking about yourself and ask your interlocutor personal questions.
  • Try to be careful and briefly summarize the words of your interlocutor to make him understand that you have listened and understood. For example, say: "So you mean that…". This behavior allows you to both recognize the other person and put yourself in a good light. Listening always impresses others, especially when they feel understood.
  • Be concise. If you can communicate your idea in a sentence or two, the concepts are more likely to settle in your interlocutor's mind. If you rave about yourself for 15 minutes straight, then people will run away every time they see you coming because they will think you are arrogant and petulant.

  

  Step 3. Set goals for improvement

  Once you recognize your accomplishments, don't ignore the areas where you want to improve. Neglecting potentially optimizable points can make you look like a braggart.

  Recognizing the areas you want to improve can actually lend more credibility to your positive affirmations and make you seem even more knowledgeable in a certain field

  

  Step 4. If you are a woman, emphasize your skills

  While men's successes tend to be attributed to their abilities, a woman's exact achievements are often associated with sheer luck. Women who brag many times are judged more harshly than men who strut. What does this mean? If you are a woman who is trying to prove the milestones she has achieved, you should make sure that you are promoting your skills in addition to your successes.

  You can do this by elaborating in more detail the path you have followed to earn something. For example, if you've won an award or scholarship, focus on the job description that made it possible and don't talk too much about the success itself

  

  Step 5. If necessary, ask for help

  If you have problems with low self-esteem, depression, or social anxiety, you should see a therapist. These disorders can prevent you to a greater or lesser extent from speaking positively about yourself to another person.

  • For example, people with excessively low self-esteem often cannot find even one positive trait in themselves. Hence, they risk experiencing psychic states such as sadness, anxiety or fear.
  • Mental health professionals can give you the tools you need to build self-esteem and work on issues like social anxiety and depression. They can also show you tactics to change certain mental and behavioral mechanisms in order to improve your life.

  

  Step 6. Give sincere compliments to others

  If you honestly admire a person, congratulate them. Try to praise people often. However, never give a false compliment.

  • When someone compliments you, don't start talking about your best qualities. Be humble, accept praise and give thanks. If you want to add something, you can say, "I'm glad you noticed. I've been working on it all my life."
  • If you don't have anything sincere to say, you don't have to return a compliment. Just a simple: "Thanks, I really appreciate it."

  Advice

  • Before bragging, put yourself in your interlocutor's shoes and consider how you would feel in his or her place.
  • Don't start hoarding material things just so you can strut. If you have a great new sports car or a Rolex but are a superficial person, flaunting what you own will not make you feel better about yourself, under any circumstances.