When despair, isolation and pain become unbearable, suicide may seem the only way out. During a crisis it is not easy to realize this, but there are strategies to find comfort, cling to life and thus return to feeling joy, love and freedom. By removing the dangers, developing an intervention plan to overcome the moment and examining the causes of the problem, you can gradually start to feel better.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Dealing with an Imminent Crisis
Step 1. Contact Suicide Helpline
It is not necessary to go through this alone. In Italy, you can call the Telefono Amico number 199 284 284. To find out which numbers to call in other countries, visit befrienders.org, suicide.org or the website of the IASP (in English, International Association for Suicide Prevention), the International Association for the Prevention of Suicide.
- If you prefer to use an online chat service, you can find such a service in your country here.
- For assistance via e-mail, use the Mail @ micaTAI service of Telefono Amico available at this link.
- If you are homosexual, bisexual, transsexual or looking for your identity, call 800 713 713.
Step 2. Call the emergency services
If you intend to commit suicide, go to a hospital or ask someone to accompany you. You will receive medical attention and will remain in a safe place until you are out of harm's way. Dial an emergency number immediately, before it is too late, if you are about to attempt suicide or if you have already done something harmful to yourself.
Step 3. Find a friend
Never allow feelings such as shame, embarrassment, or fear to hinder you from seeking help from friends. Call someone you trust and stay on the phone for as long as necessary. Ask this person to come and stay with you until you are out of harm's way. Explain exactly what you are thinking and / or what you intend to do so that your friend can understand the seriousness of your request.
- It may be easier to communicate with a friend via email, letter, or chat, even when he's sitting next to you.
- If the crisis lasts for a long time, make sure you are not alone and organize surveillance shifts or ask a friend to do it for you.
Step 4. Get help from a professional
You have a serious ailment, so you need to undergo expert care, just like a patient with a broken leg would. In fact, calling your doctor is a great place to start. Alternatively, the telephone assistance service could refer you to a consultant, psychiatrist or psychologist in your city or you could find it yourself by consulting the telephone directory or the Internet.
- You can also contact an online therapist.
- A psychotherapist can assist you in all of the problem management steps described below and identify specific treatments that can help you. He may refer you to a psychiatrist, who has the ability to prescribe drugs.
Step 5. Save time
While you wait for help, try to distract yourself for as long as possible by taking a shower, eating something, or engaging in a demanding activity. Breathe deeply and promise yourself that you will not commit suicide for at least 48 hours, not before seeking professional help. As difficult as it may be, put off your two-day plans and give yourself time to both remarry and carefully analyze the situation. Right now, suicide may seem like the only possible solution, but circumstances can change quickly. Promise to give yourself at least two more days to find a better solution or a reason to keep looking for it.
Try to separate emotions from actions. The pain can be so overwhelming that it distorts your thoughts and ways of acting. However, it is one thing to think about suicide and another to do it. You can still decide not to commit suicide
Part 2 of 3: Finding the Tools to Address the Problem
Step 1. Don't underestimate the warning signs
In a highly emotional state, you may underestimate your actual ability to commit suicide. Regardless of how you feel, seek help if any of the following warning signs arise, using the resources listed in the crisis management section:
- Social isolation, estrangement from relatives and friends, a sense of not belonging or the belief of being a burden to others.
- Extreme self-hatred, feelings of despair.
- Sudden mood changes (even if for the better), fits of anger, low tolerance for frustration, restlessness or anxiety.
- Increased consumption of alcohol and drugs.
- Insomnia or severe sleep disturbances.
- Need to talk about suicide, planning or researching the tools to implement it.
- Although an act of self-harm and a suicide attempt are not the same thing, the two events are closely related. Get immediate help if you have severe or frequent self-harm, including punching walls, pulling hair, or scratching yourself.
Step 2. Make the home a safe place
The ease with which you can reach dangerous objects increases the risk of suicide. Don't offer yourself a chance to change your mind. Lock up any dangerous tools, such as pills, razors, knives, or firearms. Ask someone else to keep them, throw them away, or store them in a space that is not easy to access.
- Minimize alcohol and drug use. Despite the momentary feeling of well-being, these substances can make depression more intense or difficult to manage.
- If you think you will not be safe in your home, go to a place where you feel comfortable. Spend your time with a friend, in a recreation center, or some other public place where you can hang out with other people.
Step 3. Share your thoughts with people you trust
Being able to count on a network of help is essential in the presence of suicidal thoughts. What you need are trustworthy people who can listen to you without judging your despair and without giving advice that is more harmful than beneficial. Sometimes, even those with the best of intentions can make you feel guilty or embarrassed about your suicidal tendencies. Instead, try spending time with people who listen to you and care about you without judging.
If you can't confide in people close to you, read what the Buddy Project is on its Twitter page (in English) and register here to use the service. It is a non-profit organization for the prevention of suicide and other adolescent disorders, winner of numerous awards, which works internationally to create a network of friendships for sharing experiences and mutual support
Step 4. Find out other people's stories
Knowing the experiences of other people in the battle against suicide through books, videos and oral stories, will allow you to understand that you are not alone, as well as teach you new strategies to deal with the problem and give you the right motivation to keep fighting.
Step 5. Develop a safety plan to use when suicidal thoughts arise
This is a personalized plan to use to stop suicidal thoughts when you start feeling overwhelmed. Here is an example diagram of the security plan, which should be supplemented with specific alarm signals and telephone numbers:
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1. I have to call one of the people on the list.
I have to list at least five contacts, without forgetting a telephone assistance service, for example the Telefono Amico (199 284 284). During the crisis, I don't have to stop calling until I can get in touch with one of these people.
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2. I have to postpone my project for 48 hours.
I have to promise myself that I will not commit suicide until I have considered all possible solutions.
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3. I have to ask someone to come and stay with me.
If no one can come, I have to go to a place where I feel safe.
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4. I have to go to the hospital.
I have to go alone or be accompanied.
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5. I need to call the emergency services.
Part 3 of 3: Addressing the Causes of the Problem After Regaining Calm
Stop Thinking About Suicide Step 11 Step 1. Continue therapy
Adequate therapy is an excellent tool for treating depression even if the crisis is over or even if it is just about making positive changes in your life. The following can help you take this path, but it is not a substitute for personalized and specialized treatment.
Stop Thinking About Suicide Step 12 Step 2. Reflect on what is happening
Once you have reached a calmer, more stable state of mind, deeply analyze why you are thinking about suicide. Has this happened to you in the past or is it the first time? At the base of suicidal thoughts there can be many factors and it is essential to find out what their origin is in order to objectively analyze the situation and take the right measures.
- Depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), and other mental illnesses are often the cause of suicidal thoughts. Often, these diseases are treated with therapy and medication. If you have a mental disorder that triggers suicidal thoughts in you, make an appointment with a therapist and start looking into possible treatments.
- If this has happened to you before or if you experience situations of bullying, abuse, poverty, unemployment, serious illness or if you have lost a loved one, you are at high risk of suicide. It is essential to get help from people who have experienced all this before you and who can therefore understand you. There are support groups for all of these cases.
- Certain events or circumstances can cause people to feel helpless, isolated, or oppressive - feelings that often lead to suicidal thoughts. However, even if it is impossible to realize it during the crisis, these circumstances are temporary. The situation will change and life will return to smile at you.
- If you don't understand the cause of your suicidal thoughts, it's important to see a doctor, therapist, or counselor to find out what the problem is.
Stop Thinking About Suicide Step 13 Step 3. Identify what the triggers are
It happens that at the base of suicidal thoughts there are people, places or events in particular. It is not always easy to understand if the crisis had a trigger. Think back to what happened and try to understand if there are always the same mechanisms before the onset of suicidal thoughts, so that you can avoid them in the future. Here are some examples of factors that can trigger a crisis:
- Alcohol and drugs. Often, the chemicals present in alcohol and drugs are able to transform depressive thoughts into suicidal thoughts.
- Violent people. Suffering verbal or physical violence can cause the onset of suicidal thoughts.
- Books, films or music that bring to mind tragic events. For example, if you have lost a relative with cancer, you should avoid watching films on the subject.
Stop Thinking About Suicide Step 14 Step 4. Learn how to behave if you hear voices
Some people hear voices in their heads and are victims of their orders. In the past, this condition was considered a symptom of a mental illness to be treated with heavy drug treatment, but recently some mental health organizations have begun to propose alternative treatments. Try contacting Intervoice or the Italian Network Noi e le Voci to find out about support networks and some advice on long-term management of the disorder. In the short term, the following strategies may be useful:
- Plan activities for the times of day when you hear voices most often. Some prefer to relax or take a shower on these occasions, while others choose to keep busy.
- Listen to voices selectively, focusing on positive messages, if any.
- Turn negative expressions into neutral statements and speak in the first person. For example, the phrase "we want you to go out" can become "I think I will go out".
Stop Thinking About Suicide Step 15 Step 5. Go in search of a suitable cure
Regardless of the cause of your suicidal thoughts, working towards a cure is the only way to stop them. If you know how to behave during a crisis and make a long-term commitment to dig into your feelings and try to change your circumstances, you can contribute to your recovery. If you don't know where to start, call the Telefono Amico number 199 284 284 and ask for specialists in your city.
- It is not always easy to find the right treatment plan. You will need to find a therapist who is suitable for your needs and who uses an effective method; you may also agree to take one or more medications that may, over time, solve your problem. Don't be alarmed if the results are slow in coming, the important thing is not to give up. Continue to use your safety plan in case of need and work to feel better.
- For some, suicidal thoughts come and go throughout their lives. However, it is possible to learn how to manage them when they arise and have a fulfilling and rewarding existence, regardless of the events.
Advice
- Explain to your friends that suicidal thoughts cannot be swept away by reasoning or logic. Indeed, some react even more violently on these occasions, driven by self-hatred.
- Remember that there is always a tomorrow and that tomorrow is another day. Suicide is not a solution. Go on with your life, seek help and you will see that everything will work out naturally.
