If you have a valid reason to believe that a friend or relative is contemplating suicide, you should immediately give them a hand to seek help. Suicide, or the intentional act of taking one's life, constitutes a serious threat, even for those who are unable to fully understand the definitive nature of death. If a friend of yours has confessed to you that he is thinking about suicide or you perceive a certain intention in him, you should intervene: sometimes a simple move is enough to save a life. Contact Phone Friend or Internet Friend to find out more about how to offer assistance and learn about resources in your area for suicide prevention. Experts agree that suicide is both a medical and a social problem; they also think that it can be prevented by spreading greater awareness.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Talk to a Person at Risk
Step 1. Try to understand the principle behind suicide prevention
Prevention is particularly effective when risk factors are reduced or downsized and protective factors are strengthened. To intervene in the face of a suicide attempt, work to offer or reinforce protective factors, as you can generally exercise much less control over risk factors.
- Risk factors include multiple suicide attempts and the presence of mental disorders. To understand this passage more fully, read the section entitled Understanding Suicidal Trends.
- Protective factors include clinical treatments, family and community support, mental health expert support, and developing the right skills to resolve the problem and resolve conflict.
Step 2. Prove your participation
The most effective protective factors to combat the feeling of isolation (a strong risk factor) are precisely represented by emotional support and bonding with friends, family and surrounding communities. A person at risk must have a certain sense of belonging to choose life over death, so you should show them that it is an integral part of your existence. Think about strategies that will help you offer support or take the stress out of your daily life.
Step 3. If you are a teenager or young adult, help them regain enthusiasm for their interests
If the person you're worried about is young, research their most special passions so you can talk about them together. The main goal is to show her that you care enough about her to take her hobbies and recommendations seriously. Ask open questions that lead her to euphorically share her passions with you.
Here are some questions you might ask: "How did you learn everything you know about …?", "Could you tell me more about it?", "I love your style. How do you choose what you wear? Do you have any fashion tips for me?", "I watched the movie he recommended and I liked it very much. Do you have any other suggestions for me?", "What is your favorite movie and why?", "What hobby or activity would you dedicate your entire life to?"
Step 4. Help seniors feel useful
If you know that an older person is thinking about suicide because they feel helpless or think they are a burden to others, try to make them feel useful and at least partially ease this burden.
- Ask her to teach you something, like the rules of her favorite card game, cook a recipe she likes, or knit.
- If this person has health problems or can't move that much, offer to take them elsewhere or bring them a dish you cooked.
- Show interest in her life or ask her for advice on dealing with a problem. Here are some questions you might ask: "What was your life as a teenager?", "What is your best memory?", "What is the biggest world change you have witnessed in your life?", " How would you help a bullied person? "," How did you manage to overcome the anxiety of becoming a father? ".
Step 5. Don't be afraid to talk about suicide
Some cultures and families treat suicide as if it were taboo and avoid discussing it. Also, you may be afraid that you will arouse suicidal thoughts in someone just talking about it. These factors, or others, may prevent you from discussing it openly. However, you should fight this instinct because in fact it would be better to act differently. Speaking honestly about the problem often causes a person in crisis to think about it and review his or her decisions.
As an example, just think of the anti-suicide project conducted in a reserve of Native Americans characterized by a high rate of voluntary deaths. During the research, several 13-year-olds admitted that they actually planned to take their own lives until they entered into a frank discussion about it. These open dialogues may have broken cultural taboos, but led each participant to choose life and solemnly promise to avoid suicide
Step 6. Prepare to discuss suicide with the person concerned
After you learn about the issue and stress the importance of a relationship with an at-risk relative or friend, be prepared to discuss it with them. Create a pleasant atmosphere in a quiet place to strike up a conversation about your concerns.
Minimize possible distractions by turning off electronic devices, muting cell phones, and asking roommates, children, and others to keep busy elsewhere
Step 7. Be open
Offer support without judgments and accusations. Listen with an open mind that invites greater confidence. Dialogue must not erect a barrier between you: it prevents it from happening by showing openness and affection.
- Talking to a person in crisis who is not thinking rationally, it is easy to get frustrated. Consequently, remind yourself to stay calm and show support.
- The best way to be understanding is to avoid giving prepackaged answers. Ask open-ended questions, such as "How do you feel?" or "What's wrong?", and let your interlocutor do the talking. Don't try to argue or convince him that things aren't that bad after all.
Step 8. Speak clearly and directly
It is useless to sweeten the pill or turn around the subject of suicide. Be open and honest about what's on your mind. To start the conversation, try using a three-tier method: first, emphasize the importance of your relationship; secondly, work out the observations you made; finally, share your love. After that, ask your interlocutor if he has had suicidal thoughts.
- Example: "Alice, we've been friends for three years now. You seem depressed lately and I've noticed that you drink more than before. I'm very worried about you and I'm afraid you've thought about suicide."
- Example: "You are my son and since you were born I promised myself that I would always be there for you. You are not sleeping or eating regularly and I have heard you cry several times. I would do anything not to lose you. life?".
- Example: "You have always been a great role model. However, you have recently made some troubling statements. I find you very special. If you are thinking about suicide, I ask you to please confide in me."
Step 9. Welcome the silence
After starting the conversation, this person may first respond with silence. Chances are she was shocked by your acute analysis, or she is surprised and wondering what she will ever do to get you to have such thoughts. Before she is ready to give you an answer, she may need some time to gather her thoughts.
Step 10. Be persistent
If this person dismisses your concern by saying "No, I'm fine" or doesn't worthy of an answer, share your fears again. Give her another opportunity to get back to you. Keep calm and don't pester her, but be firm in your beliefs so that she talks to you about what's hurting her.
Step 11. Let her speak
Listen to his words and accept the feelings he expresses, even if it is painful for you to hear them. Don't try to argue with her or lecture her about how she should behave. If possible, offer her solutions to overcome the crisis and have hope.
Step 12. Acknowledge his feelings
When someone confides their emotions to you, it's important to acknowledge and accept their impact, and not try to "reason them out" or persuade them that these feelings are irrational.
For example, if someone tells you they're contemplating suicide because their beloved pet just died, there's no point in telling them it's overreacting. If he tells you that he recently lost the love of his life, don't tell him that he is too young to understand this feeling or that the sea is full of fish
Step 13. Do not urge this friend or relative to commit a tragic deed because you think he does not have the courage to try and therefore you will help him to come to his senses
It will seem obvious to say so, but you shouldn't challenge or encourage a person to commit suicide. Maybe you think it's an approach that will finally help her realize that she is being foolish, or you think it gives her the opportunity to realize that she really wants to live. Either way, your intervention could actually prompt her to take her own life and you would end up feeling responsible for her death.
Step 14. Thank this person for their honesty
If she admits that she has been thinking about suicide, thank her for sharing this information with you. You might also ask if she has shared these reflections with anyone else and if other people have offered to help her cope with her feelings.
Step 15. Suggest that she seek outside help
Encourage her to call the Friendly Phone on 0223272327 or another similar service to speak to an expert. The person who will answer you can offer you advice to find within yourself the right skills in order to cope and overcome a crisis.
If she refuses to call a switchboard, don't be surprised, but write down the number for her or save it on her cell phone so she can call if she changes her mind
Step 16. Ask her if she has planned to commit suicide
You should encourage your friend or relative to fully share their suicidal thoughts. This will likely be the hardest part of the conversation for you, because it will make the threat of suicide that much more real. However, knowing the specific plan could help you minimize the risk of it actually happening.
If this person has worked out their suicidal thoughts in enough detail to make a plan, it is very important to seek professional help
Step 17. Make a deal with this person
Before ending the conversation, make some promises. You should promise her that you will be available to talk to her at any time, night or day. In return, ask her to promise that she will call you before making any rash moves.
This promise should be enough to stop her and ask for help before an irreversible act
Part 2 of 3: Taking Action to Prevent Suicide
Step 1. When a crisis occurs, minimize the chances of this person getting hurt
If you think she can do something extreme, don't leave her alone. Get help immediately by calling an ambulance, a specialist who can handle seizures of this type, or a trusted friend.
Step 2. Eliminate all means he could use to harm himself
If a person is facing a suicidal crisis, limit the chances that they can commit a tragic act by removing access to certain items. It is especially important to eliminate elements that were specifically part of a plan he had thought of.
- Most men who take their own lives choose a gun, while women are more likely to poison themselves with drugs or chemicals.
- Make sure that this person does not have access to firearms, drugs, toxic chemicals, belts, ropes, very sharp scissors or knives, cutting tools such as saws and / or any other object that could facilitate a suicide.
- When you eliminate these means, your goal is to slow down the process, so that this person has time to calm down and choose to live.
Step 3. Get help
Probably, after sharing his thoughts with you, this person will ask you to keep the secret. Either way, you shouldn't feel compelled to comply with this request. It's a matter of life or death, so calling a specialist who can handle such crises to help her isn't a breach of her confidence. You could call one or more of the following numbers for help:
- Friendly phone, 0223272327.
- A school psychologist or religious guide, such as a priest, pastor or rabbi.
- This person's doctor.
- The ambulance (if you think it is in immediate risk).
Part 3 of 3: Understanding Suicidal Trends
Step 1. Try to understand the severity of the suicide
Taking one's life is the culminating act of a process that ignores and overcomes the typically human self-preservation instinct.
- Suicide is a worldwide problem. In 2012 alone, 804,000 people took their own lives.
- For example, in the United States, it is a very common cause of death. Every five minutes, a person takes his own life. In 2012, there were over 43,300 cases of suicide in the US.
Step 2. Recognize the steps in the process leading to suicide
Although the triggering cause of this gesture can be sudden and impulsive, the choice to take one's life presents progressive stages, often recognized by others with hindsight. The stages of suicide include:
- Stressful events that trigger sadness or depression.
- Suicidal thoughts that lead the subject to wonder whether to continue living.
- Making plans to commit suicide in a specific way.
- Preparation for suicide, which may include gathering the means to take one's own life and giving away one's possessions to friends and relatives.
- Attempted Suicide: This person actually tries to take his own life.
Step 3. Look for major life changes that have caused depression and anxiety
At any age, it is possible to experience experiences capable of causing mental states such as anxiety and depression. Most people recognize that it is normal to have problems and that these are temporary situations. However, some become so bogged down in negative emotions that they cannot look beyond the immediate moment. They have no hope and see no way out to escape the pain they feel.
- People who have suicidal thoughts try to end the pain of a temporary situation with a permanent and irreversible solution.
- Some even believe that having suicidal thoughts is synonymous with mental disorder. Thinking therefore that they are affected, they believe they have a greater predisposition to suicide. This is wrong for two reasons. First, even people who do not suffer from mental disorders can contemplate suicide. Secondly, an individual who has a mental illness is still a person who deserves to live and who has a lot to offer.
Step 4. Take all suicide threats seriously
You may have heard that people who really want to take their own lives don't talk about it. Wrong! An individual who discusses suicide openly may seek help in the only way he knows, which is by expressing his intention; if no one gives him a hand, he risks giving in to the darkness that is assailing him.
- According to a recent study, 8.3 million adult Americans admitted contemplating suicide in the year prior to the research; 2, 2 million have made plans to tempt him and 1 million have tried to take their own life without success.
- It is believed that for every suicide that occurs in adulthood, there are 20-25 failed attempts. In the 15-24 age group, 200 failed attempts were recorded for each successful suicide.
- More than 15% of US high school students who participated in the survey admitted that they contemplated suicide. 12% of them made a specific plan and 8% tried it.
- Based on these statistics, if you suspect a person is considering suicide, you are probably right. It is best to expect the worst and ask for help.
Step 5. Do not assume that your friend or relative is not the type of person who would commit suicide
If there was a specific profile describing individuals at risk, it would be easier to prevent this tragic act. Suicide can affect people of any country, ethnicity, gender, age, religion and economic level.
- Some are surprised to find that even 6-year-olds and older people who feel they have become a burden on their families sometimes take their own lives.
- Don't assume that only people with mental disorders try to commit suicide. The suicide rate is higher among sufferers, but even people who do not have such diseases can take their own lives. Additionally, individuals who have been diagnosed with mental illness may not openly share this information, so you won't always be aware of it.
Step 6. Pay attention to the trends observed in the suicide statistics
Although everyone can have suicidal thoughts, there are certain patterns that allow you to identify the groups most at risk. Men are 4 times more likely than women to take their own lives, but women are more likely to have suicidal thoughts, talk about them with others, and make unsuccessful suicide attempts.
- Native Americans are characterized by higher suicide rates than other ethnic groups.
- Compared to adults over 30, those under 30 are more likely to consider a plan to commit suicide.
- Among adolescents, girls of Latin American culture have the highest suicide attempt rate.
Step 7. Recognize the risk factors
As stated earlier, it is important to remember that suicidal individuals are unique and do not fall into a specific category. However, knowing the following variables can help you determine if your friend is in danger. Those presenting a greater threat have the following characteristics:
- They have already tried to take their own lives, one or more times.
- They suffer from mental disorders - often from depression.
- They abuse alcohol or drugs, including prescription pain relievers.
- They have chronic health problems or pain.
- They are unemployed or have financial problems.
- They feel lonely or isolated and lack social support.
- They have problems with a relationship.
- They are related to people who have committed suicide.
- They are victims of discrimination, violence or abuse.
- They face feelings of helplessness.
Step 8. Look for the 3 most serious risk factors
According to Dr. Thomas Joiner, the 3 variables that help predict suicide more correctly are the feeling of isolation, the thought of being a burden to others, and the ability to harm oneself. Think suicide attempts are "dress rehearsals" for the actual act, not a cry for help. Explain that people who are most likely to actually take their own lives have the following characteristics:
- They are numb to physical pain.
- They are not afraid of death.
Step 9. Recognize the most common red flags of suicide
These signs are different from risk factors (discussed above); in fact, they indicate an imminent danger. Someone takes their own life without warning, but most people who try to commit suicide make alarming statements or actions, which can make others understand that something is wrong. If you see one or more of the following signs, take immediate action to prevent a tragic death. Here are some of them:
- Changes in sleeping or eating habits.
- Increased consumption of alcohol, drugs, or pain relievers.
- Inability to work, think clearly, or make decisions.
- Expression of feelings that convey deep unhappiness or depression.
- Evident feeling of isolation, often accompanied by the impression that no one notices or cares about it.
- Sharing emotions such as helplessness, hopelessness, or lack of control.
- Complaints about pain or inability to visualize a future without suffering.
- Threats of self-harm.
- Sale of valuable or loved goods.
- A sudden happiness phase or a surge of energy following a long period of depression.
Advice
- Try to understand why this person made such a decision. Suicide is often accompanied by depression, a psychic state unimaginable for those who have never experienced it. Listen carefully and try to understand the reason for these feelings.
- Remember that patience is a key factor - you need to be provided with it. Don't bother this person into making decisions or confiding their emotions to you. Always be gentle when dealing with serious and life-threatening situations.
- If this person is not in immediate danger, talking is the best solution to help them momentarily.
- If you are a teenager worried about a friend or family member who appears to be contemplating suicide, you should definitely tell a trusted adult or call a switchboard to help you both right away. Don't keep it a secret - it's a huge burden and you can't handle it alone. Also, if your friend commits suicide despite the promises he made following your surgery, the situation will only get worse.
- Events that may precipitate suicidal thoughts include the loss of a loved one / job / home / status / money / self-esteem, change in health status, divorce or end of a relationship, declaration of one's homosexuality / bisexuality / transsexuality / intersexuality (or someone does it instead of the person concerned), other types of social taboos, survival of a natural disaster and so on. Again, if you know that the person in question has gone through these experiences, pay close attention to the gravity of the situation.
- Get your friend to talk. Cultivate an environment focused on understanding. Tell him that you love him and that you will miss him if he leaves.
- Illnesses that can accelerate the onset of suicidal thoughts include depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, body dysformism, psychosis, alcohol or drug abuse, and so on. If you know that a person has any of these disorders or has spoken of suicide, seek help for them right away.
- Just try to listen. Don't give advice or tell this person how to feel better. Shut up and listen carefully.
