We've all been there: we've had a crush on someone we shouldn't have fallen in love with. Sometimes, you already know that the other person is not a good match or is busy. In other cases, it may be you who are in a relationship. Either way, you can distance yourself by reducing the time you spend together or think about her. Keep busy making new friends and trying your hand at something you've never done. Also, you should set realistic expectations about the whole story. In no time at all, it will become just a vague memory!
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Resizing Your Feelings
Step 1. Reflect on its flaws
One way to stop thinking about a person is to change the way you see them. They all have their flaws. You probably didn't see hers because you were idealizing her. So, take the time to reflect on its downsides.
- For example, maybe you want to forget her because she made a horrible act or because your friends or family don't approve of her.
- You may also start ignoring her because you don't have much in common or because she has bad habits, like using drugs or lying.
Step 2. Give yourself some space
It is true the old proverb which says: "Out of sight, out of mind". If you surround yourself with different people and things, it will no longer be at the top of your thoughts.
- If you have mutual friends and can't avoid it, hang out with a large party for some time. Don't be alone with her.
- If you know where to find her, avoid going to places she frequents when there is a risk of meeting her.
Step 3. Limit your contacts, even virtual ones
Cut all forms of communication. Having it always in front of your eyes will prevent you from forgetting it. Remove her number from the phone book, delete her email and don't follow her on social networks.
- If you have a Facebook profile, you can stop following her without completely removing her from your friends list. This way you will no longer see his updates without him knowing and avoid having to answer the embarrassing question: "Hey, why did you unsubscribe?".
- However, if you're still tempted to check her profile, delete her altogether. You can always add it later.
Step 4. Don't talk about her anymore
To scale back how you feel about him, you should also stop talking about it the way you once did. Don't dwell on how awesome it is. Invite your best friends to check on you.
For example, you could ask them to change the subject or call you back every time you bring it up in your speeches
Step 5. Get rid of his memories
It is harder to forget someone if you are surrounded by objects that ignite unwanted thoughts. Spend an afternoon examining the environment in which you live and eliminate all the things that remind you of its memory.
- Did you write his name in a notebook? Do you have an old letter from him? Did you usually watch a television series together? Discard any items she gave you and put away any items that make you think of her.
- If you can't get rid of something permanently (like a piece of furniture or a school book), try to keep it out of your sight. Change the cover of your book or upholster the sofa you used to sit on.
Step 6. Avoid love movies or romantic songs
Listening to certain songs or watching certain movies, you risk missing her. So, avoid anything that makes you think about her, like movies and songs that are romantic or that you both liked.
Create a new playlist that doesn't contain love songs. Choose a new TV show or another movie to watch as long as you don't remember who you are trying to forget
Part 2 of 3: Keeping Busy
Step 1. Make new friends or reconnect with the ones you already have
If you've gotten into a crush, you've probably started neglecting your social life. Take a step back and start seeing old friends again or looking for new ones. By dating people who love you, you will feel their support and be able to distract yourself.
- Call your best friends and organize an outing or a sleepover at the weekend;
- Join an association or join a sports team;
- Volunteer at a hospital, nursing home, or animal shelter
- Be careful not to talk too much about the person who broke your heart when you are with your friends, otherwise it can be counterproductive and risk irritating the listener.
Step 2. Find a hobby
When you are madly in love with someone, you may be putting your passions aside. So, go back to pursuing your old interests. By keeping busy with something exciting, you will be able to forget it. Plus, as you get involved, you get the opportunity to get to know other people.
Have you always wanted to learn to play the guitar? When you are in school, approach a friend prepared in music. Search for manual or DIY projects on Pinterest. Alternatively, browse a book if you've neglected your passion for reading
Step 3. Break your routine
Following the same old routine can be boring. Moreover, if you always go to the same places and do the same things over and over again, you will have a hard time putting your infatuation behind you. Bring some fresh air into your life by stirring up the situation.
Start by changing your workout or physical activity. For example, you could follow a program with the goal of running 5km. Have breakfast every day in a new café before going to school or work. Sign up for a course to learn how to cook or learn a new language
Step 4. Resume flirting
The possibility of flirting or dating someone is probably the last thing you think about right now, but it could help you debunk your infatuation. You can't know if the next person you meet will turn out to be much more attractive and interesting than the one you are trying to forget.
Don't force things at first. Get to know someone by casually flirting. Hang out with him for a while. Just try to enrich your social life, enjoy pleasant company, and have fun
Part 3 of 3: Setting Realistic Expectations
Step 1. Choose something to focus on right away
Set yourself an achievable goal to forget the person who hurt you. Maybe you would like to get rid of all the memories that belong to your relationship or stop calling it. Start from this point.
- Outline a plan to help you achieve your goal. For example, if you want to get rid of all their memories, spend one day ordering them, another day storing them, and another day throwing or giving them away.
- Another goal could be to choose an afternoon to block her on different social networks.
Step 2. Write down what you feel
It is naïve to repress your feelings, but you may find that by putting them on paper, you are able to overcome them. So, try this writing exercise for a few hours a day. Make it a point not to think about it until the appointed time comes.
- At first you will probably dwell on long thoughts that will still reveal a strong attachment to him. However, over time you may find that you tend to talk about it a lot less or that you dwell on completely different aspects.
- Use this method only if you need it. If one day you don't think about the person who broke your heart, don't write anything.
Step 3. Be patient
Give yourself time to forget the person you're infatuated with. Emotions don't go away overnight. Don't be hard on yourself if you start to hurt or can't get it out of your head. Accept any thought that crosses your mind. Remember that your feelings will disappear over time.
Step 4. Track your progress
Take a few minutes each weekend to write down how much you've thought about her. In the long run, the obsession will go away.
