At a time when money, fame and physical beauty are revered, it can be difficult to feel satisfied with your life in the absence of these elements. Not feeling satisfied with your existence doesn't have to be a bad thing, it can in fact become a stimulus to get what we have always wanted. However, it is important to understand that the satisfactions of life must come from within and not from without. Look inside to begin to see your true potential.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Improve Your Attitude
Step 1. Be kind
Believe it or not, it could be the first step to discovering your potential. Not considering yourself good enough or worthy may prevent you from noticing the effect you can have on others. The truth is, no matter who you are, you have tremendous power to have a positive (or negative) impact on the world. Your mood can be contagious, as are happiness and positivity. Research shows that doing a good deed towards others increases our feeling of brain "well-being" by releasing a chemical known as serotonin. So even if you're not feeling your best, try to be nice to other people; thanks to this chemical process it will make you and others feel better.
- Take the time to make eye contact. Ask the people you meet how they are or give a sincere compliment. Try to remember their names and ask friends and colleagues how their loved ones are.
- Always give the benefit of the doubt. You never know exactly what happens in other people's lives. Today you may be the only one who treated that person like a human being. We often don't realize how powerful a simple smile or a kind word can be, even when it comes from a stranger.
Step 2. Pretend until you actually get it
Acting like you are happy and content will allow you to truly feel more joyful. Just as doing a kind gesture for others can help us feel better about ourselves, pretending to be in a great mood allows us to be happier right away.
- If you happen to wake up feeling particularly low, try to break the cycle of negativity by channeling some positive energy. Look in the mirror and smile. It might seem like a weird gesture, but it works! Once you leave the house, when someone asks you how you are, respond as if you were living the most fabulous day of your life. For example, you can say "I am having a wonderful day" or "This day is only getting better."
- Projecting happiness can turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy. After spending some time smiling in the mirror and pouring out enthusiastic comments about the day, you will find that things are really going for the best. Research has shown that simply hinting at a fake smile by altering one's facial expression can produce some of the automatic changes triggered by a genuine smile. For example, holding a pencil between your teeth allows you to activate the smile muscles; in a very short time, you will find that you feel calmer and happier.
Step 3. Learn to value the deepest virtues.
Sometimes, by focusing only on external possessions, including physical beauty or material possessions like homes and cars, you may be led to underestimate all the good things in your life. Superficial goods are often only passengers. Money can be lost. Conversely, inner riches, such as love, honor, integrity, and honesty are enduring. Learn to appreciate natural beauty, good character, sincere friendship and your family.
- Create a list of positive adjectives that describe yourself and the people around you. Reliability, trustworthiness and understanding. Any of these incredible features could be mistakenly underestimated. Identify traits about yourself and others that you consider worthy of esteem, then make an effort to notice each time they are highlighted.
- Try to compliment others on their principles rather than how they physically look or what they possess (you can keep doing this, but include some compliments related to their values as well). For example, you might say to a friend, "I really appreciate that I can always count on your sincerity; even when your opinion is different from mine, I can be sure you will express it frankly. Thank you."
Step 4. Edit your internal dialogue
How you view yourself and your life can come from what you say to yourself in your mind. In practice, your internal dialogue can decide your fate. When it's positive it brings security and confidence, puts you in a good mood and makes you more efficient. Conversely, when it is negative, it puts you in a vicious cycle of depression, anxiety and low self-esteem. Follow these strategies to effectively transform it:
- Become aware of your thoughts. Do they make you feel better or worse?
- When you identify a negative thought, make an effort to turn it into a more positive statement. For example, analyze these thoughts: "It's no use. I'll never find a job I like." They are clearly negative and hinder your future growth and opportunities. Turn them into a more positive and upbeat statement like, "I have numerous gifts and talents. I need to find a job or hobby that allows me to develop them further."
- Address yourself as you would a close friend. You would be careful not to discredit or criticize it. You would show him your understanding and be ready to point out his many positive characteristics that he tends to ignore. Be equally understanding with yourself.
Part 2 of 3: Learning not to compare yourself to others
Step 1. Reflect on your positive qualities
When you compare your life to that of others, you belittle the results you have achieved. Confrontation is a thief of joy. As long as you evaluate your achievements using someone else's standards, you will never be able to recognize the wonders of your life. There will always be someone brighter, faster or richer. Yet there is only one you. Stop for a moment to reflect and notice all the wonderful things you have.
- Highlight some of your strengths, then write them down on a few slips of paper. Attach one to the bathroom mirror so you can see it every morning as you get ready. Keep another in your wallet and one in your car's sun visor. Think of them as little reminders of all the attributes you have to offer.
- If you have a hard time identifying your virtues, explore yourself to bring them to light. Grab a pen and paper and reflect for a few minutes on the positive experiences you have had so far. Analyze how you behaved and what skills you showed. Also ask yourself what activities and projects you are most enthusiastic about. It is the latter that best describe your strengths.
Step 2. Stop glorifying celebrities
When we compare ourselves to other people and their lifestyle, we are easily led to think that they have a better life than ours. For one thing, it is unrealistic to compare your life to that of another person; moreover, it is impossible to have a clear idea of what its real existence is outside of pomp and ostentation. Outward appearances can mask an incredible amount of pain, debt, sorrow, anger, frustration, loss, boredom, and who knows what else. Don't believe what you see on TV. Famous people are still human beings.
Step 3. Recognize that no one is perfect
As described above, all people have their own characteristics, whether they are desirable or undesirable. When you tend to mull over your flaws, while overestimating the virtues of others, you need to care about quitting and gaining a more realistic view of reality. Examine your internal dialogue and listen carefully to what you say to yourself. Challenge negative or irrational thoughts like "It seems like everyone but me has great clothes". By looking around carefully, you will certainly be able to refute this statement.
Step 4. Enrich your life
One of the reasons you might think you don't have a good life is that you're not practicing all of your talents and skills. Find a way to reveal them to the world. For example, if you enjoy making music, make your contribution to a religious or charitable organization.
- Conversely, you may feel dissatisfied with your life because you don't feel stimulated. Think about how you can make it more exciting and engaging, for example by learning a new language, pursuing a new hobby, or teaching others what you do best.
- In addition to stimulating you, a new hobby can help you develop new social relationships and increase your self-esteem and self-efficacy.
Part 3 of 3: Show Gratitude
Step 1. Feel grateful
The feeling of gratitude is the one thing most people who have low self-esteem lack. If you were able to look beyond yourself, you would understand how many blessings you have and would be much more inclined to view your life as favorable. If you don't have a deadly disease, if you ate something today and if you have a bed to sleep in tonight, materially speaking, you can say that you are luckier than 70% of the world's population.
Keep a gratitude journal or download an app on your smartphone that allows you to record all the things you feel grateful for on a daily basis. Make it a regular exercise to finally start noticing the many positive aspects of your life
Step 2. Be aware of the small but important moments that make your life wonderful
Think back to the times when you have felt truly enthusiastic and satisfied. Maybe you went out of your way to help a friend who was going through a difficult time, or maybe you managed to make someone feel special and much loved. Recall the feelings you experienced on those occasions. Notice the many significant moments that highlight your worth.
Step 3. Realize the importance of being part of a family
If you don't have a family to rely on, focus on relationships with close friends. If you have a child, a partner, parents, brothers and sisters or a best friend you are highly fortunate. Scientists have found that without these strong social relationships you would be 50% more likely to die prematurely.
Since maintaining healthy relationships with friends and family is essential to health, strive to strengthen those connections. Let them know how much you appreciate their affection and the role they play in your life
Step 4. Help others
Nothing will make you feel more worthy, useful, and important than volunteering to help those less fortunate than you. Help the elderly, train the little ones, work at the canteen for the homeless, help a charity build something or collect toys to give to an orphanage at Christmas.
Volunteering allows you to: reduce stress, exercise your ability to be useful to others, strengthen your immune system and make your contribution to the world
Advice
- Some people find it helpful to be able to trust in a higher entity. If you are a religious person, let faith help you get through difficult times. If you are not yet, but would like to embrace a religious belief, go to a church, synagogue, or mosque or talk to a friend to find out how their faith helps them overcome difficulties. If you are an agnostic or an atheist, you may find solace in meditation.
- Sometimes it seems to us that our life is not stimulating because we limit ourselves to doing the bare minimum to get by. Find time to pursue a new hobby or try to learn something new, like a foreign language. In addition to spending your time doing something productive, every time you make progress you will feel fulfilled and satisfied.
