It may happen that you see a girl around and dream of talking to her. The first time is sure to be a little nerve-wracking, but if you don't take this step, you may miss the chance to find out if the interest is mutual! Start by looking at her body language to figure out when to attempt an approach. Then ask her a question or find a conversation starter.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Breaking the Ice
Step 1. Make a comment on something you have in common to spark her interest
Believe it or not, you have something to share with anyone you meet! You just have to look around and understand what it is. Find a pretext to start talking to her. It doesn't have to be anything fancy.
- For example, if you are in school, you might say, "The class test was very difficult, didn't you think?"
- If you find yourself in a bar, you might start off like this: "Of course it's really cold today!" or "This song is very beautiful, don't you think?". You could also say, "Nothing beats hot chocolate on a cold winter's day, right?"
Step 2. Ask her something so she can be helpful
No, don't overdo it by borrowing € 100. Rather try with a little pleasure. It sounds weird, but when you ask for a favor, no one backs down. In reality, in these cases, people tend to settle for you in order to be appreciated.
Be direct: "Could you pass me the salt?" or "Would you mind giving me a sachet of sugar?"
Step 3. Try saying something to keep the conversation going
The longer you wait to talk, the more the urge will pass. You don't have to say anything phenomenal! Just start a conversation. Even a simple "Hello!" it can help.
You might even be witty by saying, "I need help! I can't decide. This is killing me. Do you think I should get the chocolate chip cookie or a brownie?"
Step 4. Calm yourself by taking deep breaths if you feel a little anxious
It's natural to feel butterflies in your stomach before you go and talk to a girl you like! If you are nervous, try to breathe deeply. Close your eyes and inhale through your nose for a count of 4. Hold the air again to 4, then push it out again for a count of 4. Make sure to take deep breaths with your abdomen. Repeat this breathing exercise several times to calm the nerves.
Advise:
you can also take a few minutes to find the courage. You can do it! Also, look at the situation from the right perspective. What's the worst that could happen? If he doesn't want to talk to you, you will feel hurt, but it won't be the end of the world.
Step 5. Continue the conversation by replying to what he says
When you talk to a girl you like, you need to establish a conversation! If you respond to a statement or request for a favor, respond to it. Try to keep the dialogue lively and cheerful because this is your first meeting.
For example, he might say, "Yes, hot chocolate is best! It warms me from the inside!" In return, try to reply: "It's true! Which genre do you prefer?"
Step 6. Continue to convey confidence to show her your interest
If this is your first time talking to a girl, you may start doubting yourself or interpreting what she says in a negative way. Try to defeat these thoughts. Keep smiling and asking questions. Stand up straight and speak in a clear voice.
Advise:
most people are attracted to those who trust themselves. Even if you feel shy and awkward, it is often enough to pretend otherwise. Plus, you can show more confidence by simulating nonchalance with body language!
Part 2 of 3: Paying Attention to Body Language Signals
Step 1. Smile at her and see if she reciprocates
A smile is likely to indicate a desire to speak. With a nice smile, you let her know that you are happy to see her. If he reciprocates, try an approach.
- Look into her eyes to see if she is smiling sincerely. In this case, the expression also involves the gaze and you will be able to notice it. Conversely, if she smiles just out of politeness, it will look a bit fake.
- Check if she lifts her cheeks and wrinkles her eyes: it means that the smile is genuine.
Step 2. See if her gaze rests on yours for a moment
Don't stare! However, if you find that she is looking at you, do the same for a few seconds while smiling at her. If he reacts in the same way, he is probably sending you a signal of interest.
Step 3. Look for other positive clues
When it is favorable, non-verbal language indicates a predisposition to chat. You may notice that she turns her body in your direction or does not cross her arms or legs. He might play with his hair or clothes.
Note:
alternatively, if you perceive negative signs, you may want to wait before attempting an approach. For example, he might keep his arms folded, turn away, frown, stiffen his body, or look away.
Step 4. Wait for another chance if you are having a bad day
If she is angry or looking sad, postpone your attempt. Even if you want to get to know her because she hit you, she probably doesn't have the spirit to reciprocate when she's in a bad mood.
Likewise, if she seems engaged in something, it's not the best time to get close
Part 3 of 3: Continue the Conversation
Step 1. Listen to what he has to say
Every conversation is an exchange: you give and receive. Then, focus on your interlocutor's speech so that you can respond appropriately. If you don't listen to it, the conversation will soon die!
Nobody likes to hear people talking about themselves non-stop for half an hour. Instead, encourage her to tell something personal
Step 2. Ask open-ended questions to continue the conversation
In short, these are questions that allow the interlocutor to offer a more detailed answer than a simple "yes" or "no". This will allow her to talk about herself, which she'll be happy about as long as she isn't extremely shy.
- For example, instead of asking her: "Do you like rock music?", You could try: "What is your favorite musical genre?".
- If she answers laconically, ask her another question, such as: "Who is your favorite pop singer?".
Step 3. Talk about yourself
If he asks you something, answer sincerely. Even if you don't have to give a detailed account of your entire life, the conversation should range widely. If you don't feel like opening up, she may be wondering if something is wrong.
Step 4. End the conversation on a positive note
If things go well, try to figure out a way not to lose sight of her. For example, you could ask her for her number so you can text or call her, or see if she has a profile for keeping in touch over the Internet.
Advise:
you might even envision the possibility of dating again. For example, say to her: "Would you like to have a coffee sometime?".
Step 5. Leave her alone if she doesn't want to talk
While this reaction may disappoint or discourage you, you still need to respect his will. If he doesn't want to chat or go out with you, just say, "Thanks anyway!" and go away.
It can be a bad blow, but don't take it personally. You don't know what's going on in her head at that moment. She is probably too worried about her school performance to think about dating anyone
Advice
- If you are anxious at first, talk to other people until you feel comfortable having a conversation with her alone. Trust yourself!
- If a girl really likes you, try to be friends with her first.
