How to Talk to a Girl You Like if She's Girlfriend

2024 Author: Samantha Chapman | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 09:13

You have found the ideal girl. She understands you with a single glance, she always makes you double up with laughter, you miss her terribly when you don't see her. So far so good, but there is a "small" problem: she is busy with someone else. You want to tell her you're crazy about her and maybe even ask her out, without offending her or provoking embarrassing situations. Therefore? How to talk to a girl you like but who already has a boyfriend? How to fascinate her without leading to disturbing behavior? Read on to learn more.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Consider the Situation

Step 1. Try to get information about her boyfriend from her

If he is one of your closest friends, it would definitely be better to back down: you risk ruining your friendship. On the other hand, if you don't know him and want to get an idea of their relationship, then try sneaking information. You will understand if it is a serious relationship and if it is going well, without looking like a meddler. Here's what you can say:

• “What are you going to do this weekend?”.
• "How long have your been together?".
• “I had a girlfriend, but we broke up a few months ago. It was tough, but now I feel much better”.

Step 2. Find out if she is happy with the relationship

While you can't go to her out of the blue and ask her if she's happy, you can get an idea by talking about it. Basically, if she complains about her boyfriend to you, consider it a strong sign of dissatisfaction: the relationship is not going so well. Try to analyze his feelings by making casual comments. See if he responds positively or negatively. In general, you shouldn't try to get a girl who is in a strong or long-lasting relationship. There would be no point in taking on the burden of such emotional baggage, even if she decides to leave her boyfriend.

• Try saying, “It must be nice to live with your partner. What do you think of coexistence? ".
• Alternatively, say, “Have you been together for two years? Wow, it's been a long time!”.

Step 3. Find out if she's interested in you

Before you step forward, you need to figure out if you have at least a chance to conquer it. Analyze the signals. Does he stop to talk to you whenever he gets the chance? Does his face light up when he sees you? Does he always have an excuse ready to be around you? Does it have a flirtatious attitude? If so, there's a good chance he has a crush on you. Here are other ways to confirm it:

• Name other girls in front of her to see if she gets jealous. Do it discreetly, though.
• Give her a couple of compliments and see if she reciprocates.

Step 4. Don't get trapped in the friend zone

If you want to get this girl, you certainly shouldn't become her best friend, the one she can turn to whenever she has a problem. At first, talking about her boyfriend and the relationship can be helpful in getting you an idea of what's actually going on. However, the last thing you want is to be the friend to run to in the middle of the night with a jar of ice cream to complain about the couple and their communication problems. You want him to consider you from a strictly sentimental point of view, not to become his "sweetheart".

• While you want her to consider you from a sentimental point of view, you shouldn't even strike her as an intellectually more stimulating and refined version of her current boyfriend. He should see you as a completely new person, capable of bringing a breath of fresh air and a lot of excitement. You don't have to be another guy to go to the movies or hold hands with.
• If she starts complaining about her current relationship problems, say, “Hey, maybe you better talk to your best friend. I prefer not to address this topic, ok? ".

Step 5. Find out which girls to avoid

If you want to step up with a busy girl in hopes of getting her to ditch her boyfriend and go out with you, then you need to make sure you pick the right one. It must be worth it, this girl must actually be interested in you, make sure she doesn't flirt and then run into her boyfriend's arms. Here are the classic girls to stay away from:

• The girl who grants you the "privilege" of taking her out to dinner and to the cinema, and then returns to her boyfriend. Don't invite her out like you're her boyfriend, at least until you've really become one. Maybe he's just using you to latch food and drink.
• The girl who flirts with you for months, but the situation seems to be stalled. Avoid the unpunished flirtatious, who just love to get attention from the guys, nothing else.
• The girl engaged to an unstable person. You could take unnecessary risks.
• The girl looking for a male friend (as stated before, avoid the friend zone at all costs).
• The girl who only uses you to make her boyfriend jealous. Keep away from them as much as possible.

Part 2 of 3: Making the First Move

Step 1. Treat her with respect

If you want to like her, then you need to have respect for her and her relationship. Don't make jokes about her boyfriend, don't act sleazy, always trying to hug her or getting down on her boyfriend or relationship. To truly conquer her, you have to treat her like a lady. You can compliment her, but don't give her the impression that it's perfectly normal for you to flirt with a busy person. Let her gradually understand that you are special.

She may be considering going out with you, but nothing will scare her more than the cheeky attempt to pick her up

Step 2. Let her step forward

Bring her to the point of taking great interest in you, eager to spend more time with you. Name a movie that interests you and see if she asks you to go to the movies with her. Tell her you're having a party and try to figure out if she'd like to attend. You should pass the ball to her so that she alone makes these decisions, without feeling the breath on her neck. Play a little at being unattainable. You have a full life and lots of girls who would go crazy for you. If she is interested, let her line up with the others.

Let her know that you're awesome by being charming - it's better than degrading yourself by begging her to go out with you, even knowing she's already engaged

Step 3. Find a way to see it

Whether you study together, go to the same party or accidentally end up in a bar after a class, make sure you spend time with her. Don't just flirt via messages or Facebook if you actually want to get a concrete result. If you think it's too embarrassing to hang out alone, try to see her in a group setting at first. When you can, however, try to seclude yourself with her: she may start to see you in a different light and notice that you actually have great chemistry.

Step 4. Make her feel special

Let her understand that you see something unique about her, that you are not just trying to win her over because you think she is sexy. Compliment her on her hair, an aspect of her personality, or her academic performance. You shouldn't be pushy, touch her, or show your interest excessively; you need to make her understand that you can go beyond the surface. If she realizes that you have a very positive opinion of her, then she will begin to realize that maybe you are the one.

• Show her that you really care about her opinions. Ask her what she thinks of your new shoes, the chemistry teacher, or a new band you like. Let her know that you value what she thinks.

  

Step 5. Let her know you are interested

You don't have to say this clearly, but rather let her know that you consider her more than just a friend. Do this by complimenting her, suggesting that you really like her, or just looking her in the eye and approaching her as you speak. Here are some phrases to try:

• “I think your new haircut really makes your eyes stand out. You were fine even before, but now your hair enhances you much more”.
• "Among the girls I have met, you are one of the few who love sports and with whom it is fun to talk about any topic".
• "I know I can talk about anything with you."

Step 6. Show her that you are wonderful

You shouldn't pretend to win her over and let her know that you are worth meeting. Try to be humble as you let your potential emerge. You are smart, nice, talented and interesting, you would be perfect for her. Show your best profile, but without being dishonest.

• Open up with her, tell her what things really matter to you. Just make sure he reciprocates.
• After you tell her something personal, you can say “I haven't talked to anyone in a while. For some reason, it's really easy to talk to you.”.

Step 7. Bring a breath of fresh air into her life

After all, the last thing she wants is a boy exactly like hers. Be spontaneous, fun. Don't call her or text her every five minutes to "see how she is". Think of new and cute experiences to try together. Give her an original compliment or buy her a nice gift. Invite her to dance in the middle of the street. In short, propose anything that a normal and boring boyfriend would not dare. Make her feel alive every time you are together.

Don't be afraid to talk to her about a funny or interesting topic if you find it original. You don't have to fit into any stereotype

Step 8. Be stubborn (without sounding annoying)

It is a difficult balance to find. You need to let her know that you are interested without being too insistent or acting like a doormat. Talk to her at parties, walk a section of the road together after school, but don't become the classic guy she flirts with and has fun with before going back to her boyfriend. Be there, show her that you care, but also let her know that you won't be waiting forever for her to make a decision.

Step 9. Explain your intentions to her

If you've been flirting with her for months, she'll think it's perfectly okay to have a guy to act flirtatious with and one to be in a romantic relationship with. Well, that's not good at all. The longer you wait, the more he will realize that he can keep going without making any moves. So, at some point you have to step forward, expect a response, or take it to action, like leaving the guy and kissing you. Obviously, she should break up with him first, then hang out with you.

Seriously: the sooner it happens, the better. If you've been flirting for more than a month, she'll probably never leave her boyfriend

Part 3 of 3: Making the Relationship Work

Step 1. Don't rush

And so you managed to win her over and she finally dumped that loser boy. I mean, you got what you wanted. Does that mean it's time to buy engagement rings or take a trip to the Bahamas? Absolutely not. As bad as the relationship with her ex was, it's likely she's still picking up the pieces. Give it time and space. If you stick to her all day, she'll likely feel overwhelmed by events and shrink back. Instead, give her some space, go out together once or twice a week. Consider their needs.

• Many do not understand that breakups are always painful, even for those who have found themselves in the situation of leaving. You may think she feels totally free and happy because she's got rid of a dead weight. The truth is that he still has to face some pain, that inevitable suffering that punctually presents itself when you say goodbye to something. Sure, she didn't get along well with her boyfriend, but you have to understand that she needs time to get over the relationship breakdown.

  

• While she shouldn't always be calling or texting you, be sure to give her some power. If you're making yourself heard every single time, she may think she's not ready for another guy or a serious relationship.

  

Step 2. Avoid talking about your ex

She's been with a real idiot for three months, or she's been in a five-year relationship with a nice but boring guy. So? Never mention him, especially if you're going to make fun of him, call him a loser, remind her that she deserves better, and so on. Your intentions may be genuine and your only goal is to make her feel better about ending a relationship that wasn't working. However, she may take it as an affront to the past relationship and take offense - she probably still has feelings for her ex, that's normal.

• Be patient. If the relationship has lasted for a good five years, then yes, she will hardly feel ready to talk about that phase of her life in the early days. Maybe it will be a year before I mention the ex, because at first it's normal for it to be painful. Wait patient. By beating her up with questions about this guy, you'll look jealous and she'll feel annoyed.
• It is understandable to feel excluded from such an important part of his life, it is not the best to step aside. No one ever said it would be easy to win a girl who was already engaged or that there would be no consequences. However, once this difficult period is over, it will be worth it.

Step 3. Don't get paranoid

Overwhelmed by the challenge of getting a girlfriend, you didn't realize one fundamental thing: if she was able to cheat on her ex (even emotionally) with another, then what prevents her from not being faithful to you when you are will present the opportunity? It is certainly hoped that he ended the previous relationship because it was truly horrible and he saw something special in you, not because he is a perpetually restless person. If these patterns of behavior are repeated often, then it is time to worry. If, on the other hand, you know she is honest, remember that the heart is not commanded, and it ended with you because it was destiny.

• Your job is to focus on the new relationship instead of worrying that someone else sees behind you. If you're always jealous and paranoid about the way you met, then this romance is never going to work.
• Having just gotten out of an important story, the last thing she wants is to feel asphyxiated again, unable to leave the house for more than 10 minutes without receiving a call from you.

Step 4. Start over

At this point, you have gotten together, maybe you are also officially dating. True, you met in a vaguely shady way, but that doesn't mean that this aspect of your relationship should plague you for the rest of your life. Focus on the future instead of looking to the past, commit to building a solid foundation for true love, which doesn't have to be based on lies, betrayals and uncertainties. The start will be tough, but you can form a strong bond, although obviously it won't be as easy as two single people who met at the bar. If you want it to work, focus on what you are going to do together and leave the pain behind.

• That's not to say you can't talk about the time you met. Instead, you should focus on all the good things that await you, not on the suffering that characterized the beginning of the relationship.
• Discover new experiences you've never tried before and have always wanted to do, whether it's making sushi at home or planning a long excursion. Find hobbies that you can make your own and use to build a solid foundation for love. Finally, breathe a sigh of relief, relax and enjoy the ride!

Advice

• Don't be strange to her, be spontaneous and normal when you are together and it will be easier.
• Make sure her boyfriend isn't around while you try to win her over.
• Don't tell anyone about this crush, at best you can tell your best friend (as long as he deserves your trust).
• Get to know her better to understand if you have something in common and to talk about. By establishing a good dialogue, he will start thinking "Wow, we could get along really well!" and maybe reach out to you to talk about topics she can't share with her boyfriend.
• If you can get along with her friends, they will likely speak highly of you, and she may start to have an interest in you.
• Don't try to woo her if you know her boyfriend, because otherwise you might have a fight.

Warnings

• Be warned: if she leaves her boyfriend to be with you, what's stopping her from turning her back when a new boyfriend shows up?
• If you meet the girl you like with her boyfriend, don't get in the way: you certainly don't want to hold the snot. Intruding on the couple is embarrassing and will jeopardize the friendship you have with her.
• If he treats you like a brother, then you don't have much chance: it's the "kiss of death" for a possible relationship. Usually, in such a case, she just wants to be your friend. Time heals the wounds and you will know another.
• Don't let your crush shine through. A person close to the girl you like might go and blurt it out to her or boyfriend, and that's not desirable.
• If you have a "soft heart", don't give her your number or email. This girl may lead you to confess your crush to her. If you know about it, you could find yourself in a complicated situation.