Do you have a crush on a girl, but do you get mad every time you have to talk to her? You are probably afraid of being rejected or saying some nonsense. Come on, get up! Your chances of success are not that small (especially if she is your friend). Only if you do nothing will your chances be zero. That said, get ready to strike up a conversation with the girl you like without getting underfoot!
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Setting the Scene
Step 1. Take a minute to think before you speak
Preparing yourself will be useful to you. Just as you wouldn't tackle a math test without studying, or you couldn't pass the driver's license exam without some driving course. People who put the time and effort into winning their crush are more successful.
Try to find the right balance between being prepared and being prepared to the point of sounding obsessed. Your crush appreciates the attention you want to give her, but she doesn't want to feel like you've spent the last three days just thinking about her. Even if that were true, it would make her uncomfortable
Step 2. Think before you speak
You can overcome the nervousness - or eliminate it altogether - by considering your options for a moment. Practice at home before approaching her so that you don't fall into awkward silence when talking to her. Take your time, especially if you want to impress someone who matters a lot to you.
- Practice in front of the mirror. Make sure you know what to say, but try not to make it clear that you have prepared a speech. Imagine a variety of situations where you might have a chance to talk to your crush and recreate them in front of the mirror. The better prepared you are, the more confident you will be during the actual conversation.
- Have fun. Try the speech seriously, but also say it in a funny way that makes you laugh. The less you take yourself seriously, the more natural you will be.
Step 3. Get to know the girl better
Try to notice what pictures he has in his notebook, what he eats for lunch or what sport he plays. These little details will help you find topics in the future. It might be helpful for you to say something like:
- "I noticed these movies in your notebook. I really like 80s movies. Do you have a favorite?"
- "Thursday pizza is my favorite. I do a little dance in my belly every time Thursday comes."
- "Hey, my friends and I are going to the pitch after school. Do you want to come too?"
Step 4. Find original ways to improve your safety
One of the reasons you're afraid of being crushed is to want to protect your self-esteem. Don't let the conversation hurt you. It is not normal to be disheartened by just one person. Much of your confidence should come from how you feel. So find ways to improve your confidence before you get to know your crush. That way you will be more attractive and you won't be crushed if things go wrong.
- Look at your Facebook wall. Studies have shown that simply looking at your Facebook wall for 3 minutes can greatly boost your self-esteem. It is worth a try!
- Spend time with your father. Studies have shown that children who spend more time with their fathers in adolescence are more confident than those who spend less. Note: Better not let your crush see you while spending time with your dad.
Step 5. Don't be influenced by the result
What does it mean? It means putting yourself in a position where you don't care if your crush reciprocates your feeling. Because it is important? For two reasons. It will help you cope with rejection, something you will have to learn to do. If you never receive a rejection, it means that you are not putting yourself on the line. Second, it will help you have a healthier relationship with your crush. Instead of putting your crush on a pedestal and treating her as the savior of your world, you'll need to treat her like a normal human, albeit a special one.
- Are you surprised? Think you can't do it? Maybe that's the way it is. But in some cases, we think so much about the person we like and imagine what life would be like with them, that they start developing unhealthy relationships with their image. These imaginary relationships become so unhealthy that we cannot imagine ourselves without the other person, all this without his knowledge.
- If you are not dependent on the result, your confidence will grow. This will make you more attractive to many people. You will not think that being rejected by a girl is a drama, and you will be able to move on without problems. Your trust is stronger than a person's rejection.
Part 2 of 2: Making Your Move
Step 1. When you are alone, approach the girl you like
To interact with her for the first time, you should choose an informal situation in which there are many people around you. The center of the dance floor, for example, is not the ideal place for a long chat.
- Approach during lunchtime in the canteen. Ask her if you can sit next to her and start making conversation. Often this will suffice.
- Talk to the girl you like at a party. Whether it's a birthday party or a pool party, if you're both invited, you'll have an excuse to talk to her.
- Interact with her through a mutual friend. If you are friends with one of his friends, approach him and start talking, waiting for him to give you something to say.
Step 2. Introduce yourself
If you have already introduced yourself in a formal way, just say "hello". Remember to look her straight in the eye when you say hello. Your attitude will say a lot if you stare at your strings when you say hi.
Step 3. Ask the girl you like questions about her
Ask her questions that make her think and have to do with her current situation - asking her "why" and "how" of some things will lengthen your conversation. These questions often lead to in-depth discussions in which both of you can participate, which is the ideal situation.
- Remember to avoid questions that ask "yes" or "no" as an answer. If you ask the girl you like "Did you go to school in France?" he won't have to give you a long answer. If instead you ask "How was the school in France?" will talk a lot more.
- Ask her about her origins. Where does he come from, what his parents do, how does he know certain things, etc. People, including your crush, love to talk about themselves.
Step 4. Remember to step in from time to time if he is telling you a long story
This will show your attention. If you're the one who wants to tell a story, make sure the girl is done talking before you start and don't go too far, so as not to sound like a braggart.
Step 5. Pay attention to your body language
Your body language communicates a lot, whether you want it or not. In some cases, the body will transmit messages that you would rather keep hidden. In most situations, however, if you know what your body is saying, you can correct your behavior before cheating on yourself. Here's what you should watch out for:
- Visual contact. Keeping eye contact indicates that you are interested in what the other person has to say.
- Face the other person's direction. Orient your body towards her. You will show interest and that you are not shy.
- You smile. Smiling will show that the other person makes you happy.
- Flirt with your body language. Especially if you are a girl. Gently blink, curl your hair, or touch the boy's shoulders.
- Laugh at his jokes. Even if they're not very funny, smile and do your best to make her laugh.
Step 6. Don't use pickup phrases
Whatever you don't do, don't use them. They are incredibly tacky and never work. If you're a guy and can't think of anything other than a pickup line, look for articles on wikiHow that can help you make conversation with a girl.
Step 7. Don't take yourself too seriously
For real. If you are a normal person, being around the girl you like will drive you crazy. And in that frame of mind, chances are you'll do something stupid. Do not worry. If you eat your words, say something like "Wow. I can't speak. It probably happens when you're around a beautiful girl." If you stumble upon the strings and he helps you get up by asking "Are you okay !?" say something like "Sure, did you see that perfect landing?".
Step 8. Ask for an appointment
If the conversation seems to be going well, don't hesitate to ask when the person you like is free to see each other again. Any appointment will do well; whether it is to see each other for a couple of minutes for lunch or a real appointment with cinema and dinner. The kind of outing you propose to her will depend on how confident you feel and how she behaves as you talk to her.
After thinking about it and realizing she cares, don't be afraid to ask her for a new date
Step 9. Observe the situation carefully
Your approach may not necessarily be well received in the beginning. If she seems disinterested or bored, ask her if there is something wrong. Maybe he's had a bad day, or he's got something else on his mind.
If she gets distracted by anything and her boredom seems to increase visibly, apologize and kindly say goodbye; you will try it another time
Step 10. Deal with rejection with composure
It's possible your crush doesn't have the same feelings as you. If you understand that you are not reciprocated, go ahead with the conversation, but be aware that there will never be anything between you.
There is nothing worse than unrequited love, especially if your loved one is unaware of your feelings. So if your crush makes you realize that you can only be friends, get over it and move on
Advice
- If you miss a word and speak without thinking, minimize and smile. If you don't point it out, your gaffe may go unnoticed.
- Stay calm and confident, but don't be presumptuous.
- Just be courteous and don't lose control. Things could be better than you think.
- If you worry that you don't know what to say, make a list of possible topics to come up with in case the conversation languishes. Talking about topics of common interest will facilitate dialogue.
- If you're really worried about talking to her, you might want to ask a friend to test the ground and figure out what the air is like. If your friend understands that she wants to talk, she will let you know. Otherwise, you will try it another time.
- Be yourself when you talk to the girl you like.
- Don't follow your crush everywhere, you will look like a maniac!
- If you don't want to talk to your crush directly, talk to one of her friends, and maybe she'll join the conversation.
- Stay calm if you get confusing signals. He may not know how he feels, but if you are sure, keep showing your feelings and you may be successful.
- If this is the last time you see your crush, tell her how you feel. If you don't feel comfortable, write her a note, give her a hug and move on. You will always find someone else.
- Show interest, but don't give false hope!
Warnings
- Always be yourself! Most people understand if they are facing a false or inhibited person. Besides, you have to like her for who you really are.
- Don't lose your cool. If you have practiced and prepared enough, you will have no problem dealing with the circumstances that arise: you will always know what to do.
- Know that after a number of failed attempts, it is time to let go. Even if you think that you will be able to win the girl you like just because there is dialogue between you, you will inevitably end up making your heart break.
- We all like people to show interest in us, but don't go overboard with questions to show it. And don't ask "where do you live?" because you would embarrass the other person.
