There are many things in the world that we want: some we can achieve or accomplish by ourselves, while for others we need the help of people such as parents or colleagues. To achieve your goals, it is essential to understand what you want and learn how to ask for it.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Setting Goals
Step 1. Understand what your benchmarks are
Make sure you know what matters most to you to live life the way you want it to - your goals need to be in line with your values, otherwise you may not achieve them or give up something very important in the meantime.
These are conflicts that are not always evident from the start; for example, if your goal is to start a business, this will take up a significant amount of your time, and if one of your values is spending a lot of time with your family, such a project could conflict with this. ideal
Step 2. Identify specific goals
Generic goals like "make more money" or "be healthier" are a good start, but you need the details: success needs to be clearly defined, with evident and measurable progress, so you can understand how you are going and what you need to do to get there at the finish.
For example, instead of setting a generic goal like "be healthier", choose a specific milestone like "run a 10km" or "lose 10kg"
Step 3. Write down what you want to achieve
Also add the reasons, so your desire will seem more concrete and will be a reminder of what you want, as well as help you understand if it is something you really want or if there is better.
Step 4. Tell yourself that you deserve it
Many people, especially women, do not ask why they feel inadequate or undeserving; think about the reason that might make you feel this way, because investigating and recognizing fears can make you understand what you need to get what you want.
Don't care about other people's desires and reservations, because it's normal for your life, limitations, and desires to be different from those of others. Recognizing what you want and how much it matters to you is an important step in getting it
Step 5. Try something new
Sometimes there are things you didn't even think you wanted, so be willing to consider new goals, jobs, experiences and anything that could potentially broaden your horizons and change your worldview.
Listen to other people's suggestions on new things to try, like taking a class or exploring your surroundings, as you may find a new hobby or life goal that you haven't yet considered
Part 2 of 3: Take Action
Step 1. Get rid of doubts
Many do not pursue what they want because they doubt their abilities: identify and question your doubts, making sure they are not in your way.
Step 2. Save money
Many things you want, including new purchases, skills, or even a new job, can cost you money, so understand the costs involved in what you're trying to do and keep your spending under control.
- If you are considering making a major purchase or doing something expensive, setting aside a little money every month or every time you get paid can help you with that; Plus, doing it regularly can help you have better spending and savings habits.
- Do not stop at the cost of what you want, but also consider the other things you already spend money on: if they are superfluous things that hinder you in achieving your goal, eliminate them.
Step 3. Create a plan
When you have established what you want, outline the steps you will need to follow to get it.
- Identify any potential obstacles and dangers, then make sure there are ways in your plan to overcome them - this is where you confront those doubts you couldn't explain; obstacles can be related to money, time, your skills or help from others.
- Create realistic milestones to get what you want. This way, you can stick to a schedule by accomplishing small tasks in a reasonable amount of time, rather than trying to do it all at once. For example, if your goal is to lose weight, plan to lose two pounds in two weeks to start, because that's much better than a strict diet and trying to lose ten pounds in the same amount of time.
- Set deadlines in your plan. A specific date or time frame to accomplish what you want can keep you motivated and focused, as well as help you stick to the roadmap towards the end result.
- Follow the plan. Many fail because they give up too soon; Setbacks can be a normal part of success, so stick to your plan and push yourself even if things don't always go your way.
Step 4. Learn to accept failure
Sometimes you may not be able to get what you are looking for, but instead of considering failure as a reason to stop, see it as an opportunity for something else, perhaps more important.
For example, if you are saving for a large purchase, the item you want may not be available when you have accumulated the money, so do not be discouraged and think that there may be something different or better to buy; alternatively, your best bet may be to wait until a better item is available
Part 3 of 3: Getting Help from Others
Step 1. Get help
People can't read other people's thoughts, and unless you explicitly say you want something, they won't know and offer their help. Usually, people like to be helpful, especially if it's a friend or family member.
- Ask in person. It is always better to ask directly than to call or email, as it is more difficult to refuse in person.
- Add the fine details. When you ask for something, explain well what you want and when, avoiding ambiguous words such as "soon", but proposing precise deadlines; a specific request also shows the other person that you took a long time to think about what you want and how it can help you.
Step 2. Be enthusiastic
This is something you want and get excited about, so let the other person know that it means a lot to you; enthusiasm is contagious and it will be more difficult for the other to refuse: if the idea excites you, the other may also feel the same way and may be happy to help you.
Step 3. Minimize the work of others
You do not have to download an entire project to someone else, because doing so would only reduce the chances that the latter will accept to help you, but rather ask simple and direct requests, without fear of stressing when there is little to do for the other.
Alternatively, instead of asking for concrete help from another person, ask for information that will allow you to carry out the task on your own; if your goal is to improve your job performance, the other person may help you by telling you where you can go deeper into certain programs rather than demonstrating them
Step 4. Propose an exchange
If someone does something for you, promise something in return, which can be as simple as returning a favor or paying them back if it's money.
- In the case of friends or colleagues, sometimes it is enough to offer them a lunch or return a favor, because in the workplace you can always offer to help someone at work.
- If you are a boy or a teenager who asks your parents for something, don't think that you should not offer anything in return, as you may promise to help with the housework or get better grades in school.
Step 5. Prepare for resistance
Others may refuse your request or need to be persuaded to accept, so consider what objections they might make and prepare your reply. They may have the same doubts that you have overcome, so it's a good way to start.
- Don't be afraid to ask for an explanation if you receive a rejection: if the answer is vague or not specific enough, ask for more information; a question like "What can I do?" it's a good way to get more details and try to turn a no into a yes.
- Avoid pouting or insulting the other. The fact that he has not helped you does not make him a bad person and such a reaction will mean that he will not help you in the future either.
Step 6. Give thanks
You have to be grateful if someone does something for you. Sincerely thank you by referring explicitly to what he has done for you; Plus, expressing gratitude is a good way to help you again in the future.
