You are about to get married. After discussing this, you and your partner have decided not to exchange wedding rings. Maybe you don't like the feeling of having a ring on your finger or you don't like the way it looks. It may also be that you don't want to spend money to buy it, or you simply don't like the idea that these little things indicate your marital status to the world. At this point, however, a doubt spontaneously arises: what are the alternatives?
Steps
Method 1 of 2: Support Your Motives
Step 1. Be firm in your decision
While a ring is symbolic, because it is a sign of unity, it also belongs to traditions that you don't necessarily share. Not everyone appreciates the symbolism of the wedding rings or plans to introduce this exchange during the wedding ceremony. If you do not prefer this tradition and have thought carefully about the purpose and reason why you are getting married, it may be that you have realized that this object is not the most suitable for expressing the commitment you have made to the outside. Keep the following in mind:
- It is not the ring that makes this commitment, it is you who do it. It is not absolutely necessary to buy it.
- For some people, rings are annoying: maybe they accept them as an integral part of the ceremony, only to wear them rarely. This is the case of those who do not like jewelry, do a lot of sports, practice outdoor activities or do not appreciate wedding rings from an aesthetic point of view. Sometimes, this choice is made out of discretion: perhaps the ring is not worn for religious reasons or related to other reasons. Whatever the reason, there is no point in buying an item that will never be used again after the wedding.
- Temporary rings might be the answer for some couples. For example, it is possible to create one using linen or another plant: it will be a symbolic gesture, so after the wedding no one will be forced to wear it. It could be the ideal choice if the plant has cultural or personal significance, you are both a nature lover or just a plant lover.
Step 2. Make sure you are on the same wavelength
If your partner wants a ring but you deny it and don't show that you want to compromise, that wouldn't be fair to her. It is possible to buy only one ring, which will be brought by the person who wants it. After all, in the Western world, the use of the male faith is a relatively recent tradition. If one member of the couple wants the ring and the other doesn't, you can still incorporate it as an integral part of the wedding ceremony.
In some cases, brides prefer a bracelet with charms; these charms are added in relation to the most important events of the couple's life, such as a birth, a transition that changes everything or a promotion. It might be a good alternative if your partner wishes to have a concrete object that symbolizes union, but doesn't want a ring
Step 3. Address any problems and fears related to the commitment you have made
In some cases, it seems that having a ring on your finger symbolizes a bond, an obligation. If the reason you don't want to wear it has nothing to do with the reasons outlined so far or you think you will give the impression that you are different from who you really are, maybe the problem is related to marriage. Do you find it difficult to imagine married life? Here are some questions to understand it:
- Are you ready to get married and make the long-term commitment that entails? Be honest with yourself.
- Is the ring a tangible sign of deeper concerns? If so, you may want to talk about your fears with your partner and / or someone you trust.
- Are you really willing to get married? You need to resolve any issues that keep you from making the commitment before taking the plunge.
Method 2 of 2: Find More Wedding Symbols
Step 1. Inspired by other cultures
There are traditions that do not give importance to the use of the wedding ring. Learn about the alternatives offered by various cultures. Just do a simple online search using terms such as "cultures and wedding rings" and numerous results will appear.
- In some areas of India, spouses prefer to organize a lavish wedding instead of exchanging faiths; in fact, the whole city (and other people) will know about the event. At this point, what is the ring for? Having said that, wealthy Indians tend instead to see faith as an integral part of their commitment; this tradition has been adopted by the West.
- During Amish wedding ceremonies, the man and woman take each other by the hand and receive a blessing from the person celebrating the wedding, but there are no material symbols of this union, so jewelry is excluded. In some communities, different clothes or colors are used to symbolize married couples; also, men let beards grow.
Step 2. If you absolutely can't give up on a concrete symbol but having a ring on your finger bothers you, consider other types of jewelry
Would you feel more comfortable wearing a necklace that symbolizes your love? Just like faiths, chains are also a symbol of union and fidelity. You don't even have to use the same object chosen by your partner, the important thing is that these two pieces have something in common (text, style, a small sign).
If you do some manual or mechanical work, it is preferable (and safer) to wear the ring around your neck
Step 3. Show your love with art
How about a tattoo? You may be thinking "I have no tattoos and I am not going to get one.", But the reason for this choice is different. In general, people who don't want to get anything tattooed think their tastes will change, but remember that a marriage should last forever. By the way, the tattoo shouldn't be quirky either. You can write your partner's name on a discreet part of the body: around the ring finger, on the hip or, why not, hidden under the hair, as if it were your little secret. Be creative. Nobody has to see it. You do it just for you and your sweetheart.
- The infinity symbol represents a rather popular and widespread tattoo among married couples.
- Instead of a tattoo, you may want to get a piercing, whether it's in the ear or some other place where it can be done. When people ask you about it, you can proudly claim that it symbolizes your marriage!
Step 4. Exchange a special and unique symbol instead of a ring
Create something using your creativity in order to express the commitment you make. For example, you could make a booklet titled 10 Reasons I Love You, a heart-shaped craft object, or an album with your best photographs. In fact, you have no limit to customize this piece - how you transform it to be perfect for your partner is entirely up to you.
Step 5. Have the wedding certificate or other document showing the marriage framed
Display it proudly in your home so guests can see it.
If the original certificate is a very common white sheet, you can choose a colored or decorated frame, so that the document stands out immediately and is creatively enhanced
Step 6. Reconfirm your marriage regularly
Rings aren't everything. Getting married means making the effort to cultivate an intimate relationship and always be there for your partner, through thick and thin. To reaffirm the commitment you have made, promise each other to remember your love on each wedding anniversary: use words, poems, pictures or other means perfectly suited to you to once again affirm your love and yours. Union. You could make this confirmation public by hosting a small house party or by inviting some friends and / or family to witness it. Some couples also like to renew their vows, as if they remarried more than once; this is generally done on a regular basis, for example every 10 years or on specific anniversaries.
Advice
- Some women decide to wear the engagement ring, avoiding the wedding band. In fact, they think that the symbol of the commitment made from the beginning is enough.
- After getting married, be prepared to immediately stop the advances of people flirting with you. Just make it clear quickly and subtly that you are busy. You may feel flattered, but if it's a solid bond, there's no need to let other people step forward. Your partner will respect you as never before if you intervene immediately and clarify your marital status: this is also a show of respect for her.
- Ask your friends for other ideas. Involving them in the discussion could prevent them from putting pressure on you to exchange rings.
- The person who will celebrate the wedding, for example the priest, could also give you alternative suggestions. Ask her to help you decide.
Warnings
- If you've been thinking about alternatives to the wedding ring for a while, you've probably realized that someone is questioning the validity of the engagement just because you don't wear the ring. You will get questions like "Oh, so you are in an open relationship?" or "Can't you afford to buy wedding rings?". In short, be prepared for indiscretion. The size of the diamond is not indicative of the strength of a sentimental bond.
- Don't think about it more than necessary. If you don't want to wear the ring, don't. Nothing simpler. Let people keep talking about their preferences and give you traditionalist explanations - it's others' problem, not yours.
- Avoid public pressure with elegance. Assuming a person is single just because they are not wearing a ring only demonstrates an individual's mental limitations and an inability to strike up a mature conversation with them. In fact, there are an infinite number of equally valid methods to know if a person is married or not: just ask them! If that's the only reason others insist on exchanging rings during the ceremony, have a laugh - it's not even worth paying attention to.
