For those who have a very intimate and long-lasting relationship, the act of sending sexual text messages (known as "sexting") is a way to convey erotic and provocative jokes or images from anywhere. But sometimes so-called sexting can be unwanted and unwelcome, even if it comes from someone you are dating. Some public scandals have brought the relatively recent phenomenon of sexting to people's attention, and as a result the use of any new type of communication inevitably raises complications, risks and questions about the etiquette to be observed. What do you do if someone you care about gets carried away a little too much for your liking by sexting? Or what do you do if the person who sends you sexual text messages is a friend, colleague or complete stranger who just doesn't want to stop?
Steps
Step 1. Who sends you sexual messages?
Sometimes a simple flirting attitude can turn into full-blown sexting, even if you never wanted to go in that direction. Before taking any kind of measurement, consider the author:
- Friend. You've started chatting on Facebook or texting and suddenly want to push the conversation to the next level. You feel awkward and bewildered, either because you can't play along or are stunned that he may actually think there is no problem with being so explicit.
- Spouse or boyfriend. Maybe your other half thinks sexting might heat things up around the house, but you're a little grossed out.
- New boyfriend. The new boyfriend uses sexting as a means to seduce you and perhaps even to impress you. He still doesn't know you well enough to realize that this attitude actually bothers you (and maybe you are too kind or confused to object).
- Colleague or acquaintance. Maybe a friendly gesture during lunch or a comment you made at the last meeting gave a college or acquaintance the wrong idea of you, and now he's taken the liberty of texting you sexually.
- Someone you don't like has your number. Maybe you've had an argument or never got along, but this person sends you erotic messages to try and destabilize you.
- A figure that has a certain power. You feel threatened by an inappropriate message or Facebook comments made by an acquaintance who has some authority, for example, as a teacher or policeman.
- Unknown person. Have you received an inappropriate message or a photo from an unknown number? It's easy to block the number or even the sender, if the context is Facebook.
Step 2. Consider why erotic messages upset you
It could be because of the author of the messages, such as a friend, acquaintance, or person with whom you are in a relationship, who seems to take too much confidence. Or, it could be because of the really creepy content for your taste. What you hear is legitimate, but it's also important to make sure you don't overreact without evaluating the sender's intentions, which could be an expression of passion or intimate affection.
After reflecting on these aspects, are you willing to consider a compromise if it's about the person you love? Chances are he is trying to seduce you or keep the passion alive between you. In this case, perhaps you should ask him to tone down the messages so that it is short and sweet, and not to send you anything that vaguely resembles or refers to the genitals. Tell him that "less is always better" and ask him for the messages to be more suggestive than explicit. Perhaps it would be useful to let him know that the messages you receive can sometimes be read by other people …
Step 3. Ask the sender to stop sending inappropriate messages or photos
The first step in getting someone to stop bothering you with sexting is to simply ask them not to contact you using these ways. He may not actually imagine that he is offending or bothering you at all, so if he is a reasonable person, he will apologize and stop immediately. Obviously, it might be a bit difficult to determine how to request not to send these types of messages, especially if the recipient is someone you like, such as a friend or boyfriend / girlfriend. With a little elegance you will be able to stop the sexting of which you are a victim and to save your relationship, without hurting anyone's feelings. Here are some possible approaches to try:
- SMS or private message on Facebook. Don't go down hard the first time she asks him to stop. You could respond by saying something like "How vulgar, no thanks!" or "My mother (wife, child, etc.) reads my messages, so you probably shouldn't send me such things."
- Phone call. Take a more direct approach and call the person directly to tell them that you feel uncomfortable when you receive these kinds of messages and that you prefer to speak in these terms in person (if it is your partner) or simply tell them that this way of speaking does not. belongs.
- In person. If you feel comfortable talking to him in person, ask your friend or partner to see you for lunch. Keep the conversation light and fun, but make sure the other person understands your position on sexting. It is not appropriate to humiliate her, especially if she thought that sending you these kinds of messages was "sexy", but you have to get a result. If it is a person you are interested in, you could explain that you think intimacy is something to express and build in person and that you consider sexting a devious, unreal and obscene gesture. You might also add that texting is no substitute for words, and you don't really appreciate sexting taking the place of direct communication.
- If you feel threatened by a message or photo, just block the person and eliminate any future contact with them.
Step 4. Block the sender if he refuses to stop
Even if it's your boyfriend or girlfriend, if they don't stop sending inappropriate messages or photos, it's time to use the blocking options.
- Block or unfriend on Facebook, Twitter or other social media. Even if they are messages received via sms, block the number on the mobile phone and then the person on the other social networks. You don't need to be friends anymore (unless you want to), but you can hide the messages and posts she writes to you.
- Block calls from your desk phone. Contact the carrier and ask them to block that person's number. This may cost you something, but it may be necessary if you really intend to get rid of those who are bothering you or eliminate any means of reaching you.
Step 5. Consider engaging with law enforcement if they don't stop or if they insist using other ways (such as stalking, threats, or harassment)
Typically, most people who are asked to stop sending inappropriate messages stop, however, if the other person continues to pester you, especially after you cut them out of your life, you may be dealing with with a stalker.
Stalking is when someone stubbornly stalks another person, regardless of whether or not they accept their attentions. Stalking is considered a very serious crime, so you may want to consider distrusting or reporting the other person if they don't stop. Law enforcement will help you make the decision on what to do next
Step 6. If you are the parent or guardian of a teen who receives sexual messages, take action
Guys very often behave this way to each other and think it's harmless. If the words are not followed by intimidation, it might as well go. However, the situation can get out of hand and distress some kids, especially if they are mocked, stalked, or send naked pictures of themselves (usually the latter type of act is illegal in most legal systems that include child protection). Realize that many guys don't feel compelled to sext, but they see it as fun. As the person responsible for their well-being and upbringing, you need to ensure that they are not harmed and exposed to obscenities or that they do not send naked pictures of themselves.
- Familiarize yourself with the acronyms used for teen sexting. You will find many directories on the Internet.
- Ask the teenager whose responsibility you are to regularly show the photos they post on social networks. If he doesn't want to, ask him why. It's probably time for a good chat.
- Let the teenager you are responsible know that you are always available to talk about anything they need, without judging or getting angry.
- Help him stop sending sexually explicit messages. Talk to him about provocative or pornographic text messages and messages. This topic involves sharing photos in which she appears lightly dressed, in lingerie, in underwear or naked, but also the provocative and sulky poses. None of this suits kids. Explain that this kind of images rarely remain with the initial recipient, but that it risks spreading like wildfire on the internet and mobile phones, damaging his dignity and reputation, work and study prospects, as well as his safety..
- Ask your carrier if it's possible to stop sexting on kids' phones. Some companies have some tools available.
Advice
- Have you done anything to encourage sexting? Maybe you sent a picture of you showing little dress or maybe he said something that might have attracted interest and encouraged you to send erotic messages. If this is the case, you need to explain that you didn't want it to become a habit or that the situation went beyond your initial expectations. In the future, always think twice before sending photos of yourself in any pose and making provocative words on the Internet or over the phone.
- Don't listen to someone if you don't intend to communicate this way. It is important that you are upfront about the things you like from the start.
- Confide with a trusted person about what is happening to you to see if others are receiving similar messages as well. Sometimes a group reaction can be activated after which you can all respond together to stop those who continue to do unwanted sexting.
Warnings
- Seek help immediately if you feel threatened in any way.
- Never send an inappropriate photo to another person: you risk being held responsible for this action, especially if the photo belongs to a minor or reaches a minor. Also, be aware that many people search the Internet for embarrassing images, including employers and other people who have the power to affect your life.
