Ending a relationship can be a painful experience, especially if your thoughts are constantly running around your ex. Thinking about them constantly can often emphasize the pain and anger you feel and make it harder to move on. Thankfully, there are some techniques that can help you accept the end of a relationship and stop thinking about your ex.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Let the Feelings Go
Step 1. Ending the relationship can make you feel like your loved one is dead
It is right to suffer from a loss.
- Painful emotions can't just be swept under the rug. You won't be able to move on until you deeply understand your feelings and manage your emotions.
- Cry if you feel like it. Don't keep emotions inside. Remember that it feels better if you take it all out rather than keep things in forever. You'll be happy you did and you'll feel better right away.
Step 2. Talk to someone you trust, such as a close friend or family member
Sometimes you need someone who thinks of listening to you more than giving you advice. It is in our nature to want to know "why" some things happen, and since there are no simple answers to ending a relationship, just talking about them can make you better understand the reasons for quitting. Even if you can't understand, talking about it will make you accept that the relationship is over.
Step 3. Ignore the painful things that have been said to you
Don't take all the things your ex said to you personally during the closing of your relationship, as they are most likely the result of the anger he was feeling at the time. Remember that you too may have said many painful things. Let go of these negative thoughts and understand that they don't define you as a person. Avoid making negative statements about your ex even when you are tempted to give in to anger and pain. Remember that these thoughts do not reflect who you are and who you want to be.
Step 4. Look for a prospect
Remember that in 10 years, nothing you and your ex had to fight about was really important and worth remembering.
Think about the happy moments in your life, even if they have nothing to do with your relationship. For example, remember when your friend fell off a swing and you couldn't stop laughing. Think about when you didn't feel your heart broken and how happy you were. Try to be happy in the same way. There is nothing better than eliminating from your mind anything that can irritate you and make you suffer. If you stop thinking about it, you will soon say "Who is that?"
Step 5. Find a closure to say goodbye
Have an imaginary conversation with your ex and tell him everything you feel you need to tell him. Then say goodbye.
Method 2 of 3: Enhance your Physical Space
Step 1. Delete all memory triggers
The mere sight of items that were gifts from your ex or represented a moment spent together can bring back a flow of emotions. Collect any items that remind you of your ex, such as books, records, jewelry, stuffed toys, and photos, and throw them away. If throwing them in the trash is too painful, consider donating to a charity.
Step 2. Close all contact with your ex
If going out in the same place involves mandatory contact, establish a brief, civilized interaction. Otherwise, no phone calls, messages, e-mails or messages on social networks. If you want to be able to stop thinking about your ex, you need to eliminate his presence from your life.
Step 3. Change your daily routine
We often develop a routine with the other person. When this person is gone, continuing the same routine emphasizes feelings of loneliness and certainly generates painful memories. Come up with a new routine on your own. Instead of going to the same spot for breakfast on Saturday mornings, he takes a walk and changes places.
Step 4. Release tension and energy
Clear your mind of unwanted thoughts by filling your body with endorphins through exercise. Go jogging, go to the gym, maybe go dancing with friends. Relieve mental tension with meditation, yoga, or journaling to manage stress.
Method 3 of 3: Look for Happiness and Understanding
Step 1. Allow yourself to move on
Just because you're getting out of a story doesn't mean you can't be happy anymore. Do the things that bring you joy and give yourself permission to enjoy yourself. Likewise, understand that your ex has the same right. Be understanding of him, even if he is only in your mind, and let go of anger and pain.
Step 2. Try an activity you always wanted to do
Practice archery, learn to bake cookies, study a foreign language!
Step 3. Spend time with people who love you
Living moments with your family and friends will make you feel good and re-evaluated as a person. And then… it's fun! Br>
Try hanging out with your closest friends. Spend time in your favorite places or doing your hobbies with them. Rely on them and let someone comfort you and help you forget the ex
Step 4. Focus on the positive aspects of your life
Sure, being with someone is wonderful, but being single has so many positives (absolute remote control… does it remind you of anything?) Take the time to enjoy the time of your life, rather than residing in the past.
Step 5. Give yourself time
There are different times for each person to turn the page. Remember to work to restore your balance, reclaim your strength, regain your happiness.
Let a few new people into your life, but only when you are ready. If you're not ready for a new relationship, just think about friends and family. Don't turn the page in love right away, but enjoy the idea of a new relationship when you feel like you're ready
Advice
- If you plan to call… don't. Tell yourself to call back in a few days and when that day comes, repeat the procedure. A month will have passed before you know it.
- You are a wonderful person and you will find someone better in the future. Sometimes the ruptures were meant to be ruptures, other times they were meant to be awakenings.
- If the pain and anger are unbearable, distance yourself from your ex until you realize you can control your emotions.
- If it's not your first relationship to end, think about how you've been able to move on in the past. And you can do it again.
- Breakups are painful for both of us. Remember to be sensitive to your ex's feelings and to avoid painful contact.
- Stop thinking about your ex and focus on others. Consider volunteering or helping a friend to carry out their project.
- Write a letter to your ex but never give it to him. Explain the problems you had in the relationship and what went wrong. This may help you close permanently.
- If you don't feel comfortable talking about the breakup with family and friends, think about a support group.
Warnings
- While emotions after a breakup can be very powerful, never "never" threaten your ex, either verbally or physically, and don't threaten to hurt yourself to make your ex feel guilty.
- If your feelings of anger and grief after a breakup become so poignant that you think about suicide, talk to someone "immediately" or seek professional help from a therapist. There are support lines that are open 24 hours a day.
