Most people would like to be brilliant in conversation, although few are fortunate enough to possess the innate gift of wit. However, with a few tips and a little practice, it is possible for almost anyone to learn how to acquire and improve this quality.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Establishing the Interaction
Step 1. Try to find good conversation points
Before you can become brilliant you need to improve the quality of the conversation. Regardless of how shrewd you may be, starting a funny story or joke in the middle of a conversation might be inappropriate. Use the "Observe-Ask-Talk About You" approach to hone your communication skills.
- Start by expressing your interest in the topic of conversation. In social contexts it is important to be available by sending some non-verbal signals such as gestures and an open smile.
- Start the conversation by exchanging a few words of circumstance: you have to take a cue from something. To break the ice, start with trivial questions or comments about your surroundings. If you are outdoors you can talk about the weather, while if you are at a party, you can strike up a conversation about refreshments
- If you're talking to a stranger, switch from simple phrases to introductions and let the conversation develop on its own.
Step 2. Ask questions to your interlocutor
To understand what he is interested in, you need to know him better.
- Most people are happy to talk about themselves, provided you give them the chance. Instead of asking closed questions, favor open ones. For example, when someone talks to you about their occupation, ask them what part of their job they prefer the most. If in doubt ask for explanations.
- Let your interlocutor understand that you are truly interested in what they are saying by making eye contact and discreet interactions that show your involvement. Avoid interrupting him, even if you can think of something to say.
Step 3. Pay attention:
very often if you try to be witty at all costs you lose the thread, because you focus on your next comment. However, to be witty you have to listen to what your interlocutor is saying. Pay attention to his words.
- Don't interrupt it. Even if your interlocutor says something that makes you think of a comment, avoid talking until there is a moment of pause. Even the best comments can seem inappropriate if they break the train.
- Pay attention to the pace of the conversation. To have a witty chat you need to have great timing. Listen carefully to your interlocutor to understand his communication style and understand when to intervene with a comment. If you can't seize the moment, even a brilliant answer would prove to be a fiasco.
Step 4. Look for the things you have in common
After getting to know your partner better you can start thinking about what you have in common and what could be a conversation topic that would involve both of you.
- Think of some fun episodes in your life to bond and bring them up at the right time.
- Sometimes a single episode is enough. For example, if the person you're talking to likes to go fishing, but you've only gone once, think back to your beginner mistakes that might amuse your interlocutor.
- Get to know your audience. The British writer Oscar Wilde said: "The quotation is a useful substitute for wit". In fact, references to books, songs, movies, television, politics, etc., can be effective shortcuts to sound more witty. However, to make sure your referrals don't turn out to be a fiasco, you need to know your audience.
- For example, if you are talking to a person who lived after the war, during the period of the economic boom, it would be preferable to refer to the songs of Domenico Modugno, rather than those of a more modern singer.
Part 2 of 3: Working on your own wit
Step 1. Prepare some anecdotes
Everyone likes funny stories, but it's hard to provoke hilarity with a confusing or nonsensical anecdote. Instead, you should strive to have plenty of new, well-crafted stories on hand that you can tell at parties and other social events.
- Think of the funniest and wackiest stories of your life. These should be your real workhorse in conversations.
- Consider the audience your anecdotes are most likely to be dedicated to. If your goal is to look bright in a business management meeting, it would be more appropriate to bring up stories related to that topic. However, if you are looking for witty stories to tell anyone, common topics like school, parents, animals or children are more suitable as they suit a wider audience.
Step 2. Make your story more fun
The story itself can be ambiguous and boring or make you laugh out loud. To make sure it's fun, you need to perfect it.
- To get an idea of what makes a story fun, study how humorists structure the lines or lines in their repertoire.
- Start with a draft of your story. Try to remember the details. Review your anecdote to make it original, clear and ironic. Then work on memorizing and improving the oral presentation so that it is just as entertaining as the written story.
Step 3. Try to always have the joke ready
If other people join the conversation, don't be afraid to tease them a little.
- Make fun of celebrities, singers or political figures. Just make sure the other person isn't a huge fan of the celebrity you decide to tease.
- Do not overdo it. Avoid making jokes about someone's appearance, family situations, sexuality or handicap (if any) unless you know for sure that it is not a problem for the "recipient". And even then, the fact that he can openly make jokes about himself doesn't necessarily mean he likes others to do it.
Step 4. Play with the words
Few things are more witty in conversation than clever puns. Even if they don't come to mind naturally, you can improve by practicing.
- Enrich your vocabulary. Most word games depend on the extent of your vocabulary. Consider reading books to enrich your vocabulary and smartphone apps and games, such as crosswords, to master the language.
- Learn to distinguish the various genres of word games. Double meanings ("He had a photographic memory, but he never developed it"), spoonerisms ("The body is the virtue of the dead", instead of "Calmness is the virtue of the strong"), malapropisms (" So much the cat goes offshore … ", instead of" So much the cat goes to the lard … "), the paranomasie (" Who says woman says damage ") and compound words (" ScomPersa ", composed of Scomparsa e Persa) can all be inserted brilliantly in the context of a conversation, when used well.
- Study the puns of other authors. Many writers from Shakespeare to George Carlin have used them in their plays or performances. Always keeping your audience in mind, use these examples to understand how to use them.
Part 3 of 3: Working on your Speaking Skills
Step 1. Relax and be yourself
People often want to become wittier because they think they are not good at conversation, but insecurity is the enemy of wit.
- Speaking ability often makes the difference between a hilarious comment and a complete disaster. If you appear nervous or shy, your witty comment will go unnoticed.
- It is important to remember that you often have a superficial knowledge of yourself. You are probably not as weird as you think and your insecurity impairs your ability to get brighter.
Step 2. Develop your self-esteem with practice
Paradoxically, the only way to overcome insecurity during conversations is to practice conversation!
The secret is to have mundane interactions (exchange a few words with the barista while you wait for the coffee) as often as possible, in order to be more brilliant in important conversations (for example when you talk to the colleague you want to ask for an appointment)
Step 3. If necessary, refugees (temporarily) on the web
If face-to-face relationships make you nervous, try working out on social networks with stories, puns, and other recently developed skills.
Giving yourself the opportunity to work on your wit when you have more time to think could help you boost your self-esteem and be more relaxed in interpersonal relationships
Step 4. Forget it when you still have time
As you become more confident, not only will you be able to move on when your attempt to be witty fails, but you will also know when to put a stop to your wit.
- Shakespeare said: "Brevity is the soul of wisdom". Once you are convinced that you are brilliant, you will no longer feel the need to make any witty comments at all costs - an effort destined to annoy or annoy your interlocutor.
- Likewise, as you gain more confidence in your wit, you will learn when to quit. It's always best to end a conversation on a positive note.
