If you're trying to make a new friend or are intent on getting that girl who stole your heart, having a fun or interesting conversation via text messaging can be a bit of a challenge. The secret to knowing how to converse with text messages is to avoid puzzling over what you have to write and bring up whatever you have in mind, feeling perfectly at ease.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Have a Lively Conversation
Step 1. Start with a simple topic
You're not here to reinvent the wheel: when you talk to this person, just ask them if they saw the latest episode of your favorite show or what they did over the weekend. They are great ways to strike up a conversation. If you pick a topic that interests both of you, such as sports, television or future elections, then you will have no problem finding a conversation starter.
- Don't put too much pressure on yourself to find the most interesting topic in the world right away. If the topic you propose at the beginning does not elicit a good response, you can always find a way to change it. Remember that you have an advantage: the anxiety of having a lively conversation is lower than what you would hear over the phone or in person.
- If the person is apparently not interested in answering or seems busy, try moving on to a topic that you are sure will generate more excitement in them.
Step 2. Ask for an opinion
People love to be asked to say what they think about a topic, and are always happy to share it, whether in person or via text. If you show that you actually care what your partner thinks, then he or she will be happy to keep talking to you. Focus more on listening to what the other person has to say, don't just dwell on expressing your opinion.
Try to make sure your questions are open. Instead of asking "Did you like the new movie?", You prefer "How did you like the new movie?" or "Why didn't you like the concert?". This gives your interlocutor more conversation points
Step 3. Make your text messages cheerful and fun
Even if you're bored, that doesn't mean you need to let the other person know. If you constantly complain about boredom, then your interlocutor may lose interest and stop texting because they think you are being monotonous. Instead, focus on the positives in your life and show some enthusiasm with whatever topic you are talking about.
- Avoid repeating certain words often. It's hard to have an interesting conversation when you get the same old, monotonous replies every time: "Ahahah!", "Eheh!", "Wow!", "Oh!", Etc. Try changing things up a bit to let the other person know that you are interested in what they have to say. This will make the conversation more fun, so avoid repeating the same things over and over.
- You can use a few emoticons or exclamation points to generate some excitement, even if you don't have to overdo it either.
- If you're having a bad day and don't even know where the excitement is, explain it to this person.
Step 4. Give your messages personality
This person must remember that behind the words that appear on the small screen of his mobile phone is a human being in flesh and blood. Add various types of emoticons, or let her know that you are laughing by writing "Ahahah!", "You make me die of laughter" and so on, as long as it fits your texting style. You need to show her that you have unique habits, allow her to stand out from everyone else. In short, you need to give her the impression that you know how to have a different conversation than usual.
- Don't worry too much about telling her what she wants to hear; it is much more important to let your true uniqueness emerge through the messages than to create some kind of theater.
- If you are usually a bit clumsy or clumsy, let this trait stand out! Don't be afraid to look a little ridiculous - no one will judge you.
Step 5. Talk about what you do
Another way to have an interesting conversation is to talk about your life and experiences. Even if you're just watching television or getting ready to help your mom bake a cake, raise the topic to see if it can spark an engaging dialogue. It can also punctuate a transition to encourage your interlocutor to tell you what he is doing. It is a way to feel closer to this person and involved in their life.
Make sure you are more interested in what your interlocutor is doing than in anything else you are doing. Let him know that you really care about what is happening to him
Step 6. Avoid sending monosyllabic messages
For your fingers, it may be much easier to answer concisely than to bother typing an actual text message, but a word can hardly offer conversation starters. Whether you are asking a question containing only one word or giving an answer with a single term, this cannot lead to a particularly stimulating dialogue. The more words you use, the more you will have ideas to be able to have a fun and engaging conversation.
- If you send a monosyllabic message, then offer a longer explanation or more information. If you like to express yourself in short sentences, no problem, what matters is to get the conversation flowing.
- If there really isn't much more to say on a topic, you can continue with a more open question that came to your mind or a comment on a new topic.
- As much as this person asked you a closed question, don't think the conversation should end like this; answer "Yes, and …" or "No, but …". Work out your opinion or rationale. This will make the conversation flow more flexible and dynamic.
Step 7. Send random and singular messages
Never knowing what to expect from a person always has something fun and playful about it. Surprise your interlocutor with a totally unexpected answer or a question that seems to come out of nowhere. The key is to be spontaneous, and this will help keep the conversation going.
- Just like in real conversation, there's no need to overthink every word you say, or things will drag on and on. Instead, if you suddenly want to bring up a funny thing that happened in class that day, or the strangest documentary topic you've ever seen in your life, go ahead.
- Look around for inspiration. Even the simplest and most common item you have in your home can inspire conversation. It could be anything from a used napkin to a DVD.
Step 8. Your messages must be legible
An occasional misspelling or abbreviation is tender and acceptable every now and then, but it's no fun that this person has to strain their eyes in an attempt to decipher your text messages. Try to use as little typical texting language as possible, especially if you are talking to someone you haven't texted very often before. Give her some time to get used to your style before using too much conversational words.
Also, nothing would slow down a conversation faster than someone texting you asking for clarification or repeating what you said
Step 9. Avoid boring, stereotypical and mundane conversations
Small talk like you've done so many times before is useful when you're absolutely desperate, but rarely leads to memorable conversations. Instead of "Today is a beautiful day", try to think of something more original. This is especially important if you are trying to win a new friend or someone you have a crush on. You don't want to say phrases and words used by anyone else.
Avoid using phrases that are too simple or basic, such as "How are you?", "I had a bad day" or "Today I'm tired". If you want to get noticed, you need to give your interlocutor something more to work on
Step 10. Remember, if you text an old friend, you could always bring up the past for a laugh or a nostalgic moment
It's hard to go wrong with phrases like "Remember that time …?" or "I miss that period". Just make sure your utterances don't get too melancholy, or you may both end up with a feeling of emptiness and nostalgia and won't be able to carry on with a lighthearted conversation.
Naming memories of this kind could be sudden in the middle of an exchange of messages. However, if you want to strike up a conversation with an old friend and haven't heard from each other for a long time, then sometimes the perfect thing to say may be "Remember that time …?"
Step 11. Send messages containing images or sounds
They are particularly hilarious! In addition to the message, send a funny photo that portrays you, or has original graphics. Add the audio of your favorite song or weird sound effects for even more fun. Messages with audio or photos are intended to encourage both of you to talk and laugh. They are also a great way to end a nice conversation. Leaving your friend with a lasting image will make them well prepared to text you back again.
Just be sure to send him messages containing photos, sound effects or other such attachments if he has a mobile phone that can receive them. You don't have to confuse your interlocutor or make him feel left out by sending him a video or image he can't see
Part 2 of 3: Follow the Right Rules
Step 1. Make sure you listen carefully to what this person has to tell you
Maybe you are too worried about what you will say next, or you can not wait to share your opinions on something and do not assimilate what your interlocutor is trying to tell you. Maybe this person has a secret they absolutely would like to share, or maybe they are down in the dumps and clearly sad, even if they didn't say it explicitly. Pay attention to what he tells you so you can respond appropriately.
- You don't have to seem self-centered by ignoring the signals this person sends you: maybe they want to talk or have something to share. If you feel like she isn't telling you the full story, or something important has happened to her, then give her plenty of room to talk about it.
- Read carefully what this person wrote before replying, especially if the message is really long. You don't want to give her the impression that you only half listen to her when she asks you a question about a topic she told you about a minute ago.
- If this person tells you something important and serious, then make sure you are free to actually give them due attention. Does he talk to you about his grandmother's death? You should call her instead of giving her half answers because you are in math class.
Step 2. Don't think about it too much
When you pick up the phone to engage in a message exchange, one thing to keep in mind is that you don't have to put too many expectations on yourself. Don't worry about saying a perfect and unforgettable first sentence or telling the funniest story in the world. If you become obsessed with this, then it will take you far too long to actually get in touch with the person you want to talk to or continue the conversation with. He may think that you are busy or losing interest when, in reality, you are puzzling over what to say next.
It's much better to keep the flow of an imperfect and natural conversation than to take a good 10 minutes to come up with the most interesting story in the world. Also, you never know for sure what your interlocutor is doing, and you may miss the chance to talk to him for hours
Step 3. Be patient
If you have just started a conversation via SMS, or you are in the middle of a dialogue that seems to be trudging along, you should consider that your interlocutor may be busy with a certain activity, or is busy exchanging messages with another person as well. You don't have to rush things or seem impatient by repeating a question, sending a lot of question marks after the opening comment, being rude or abrupt until he starts talking to you again.
Remember that the benefit of an SMS exchange is that you have a little more time to come up with a reply. The downside is that your interlocutor may not be as involved as they would be if you were talking face to face. It is better to accept this than to discourage this person by behaving impatiently
Step 4. Maintain a balanced conversation
Another thing to keep in mind? You should find a balance in the dialogue. Your interlocutor should certainly not feel as if you are hogging the conversation, or as if you are asking so many questions that it is difficult for him to answer in an orderly manner. Just like in a real conversation, your goal should be to do half of the interventions, and make sure this person expresses their ideas instead of being overwhelmed by yours.
Remember that it is more important to be interested than interesting. Instead of sharing a million fascinating facts you have learned in a day, you will be much more successful by asking her about what she has done, her ideas and experiences. People like to talk about themselves more than you think
Step 5. If you want to talk about a really serious topic, call this person
Exchanging text messages can be perfect for a light conversation with your friend when you have nothing better to do. However, you need to avoid breaking important news in the midst of what he considered to be fun and quiet dialogue. If you have great news (bad or good) to share with this person, then it would be best to call or share it face to face.
- This person should be emotionally prepared for the gravity of the situation, not caught off guard.
- For example, you are chatting quietly with your girlfriend on the show you saw last night when she suddenly tells you she is pregnant. Try to put yourself in his shoes: how would you feel if they told you such a thing via text message?
Step 6. Use the conversation to deepen your personal relationship
Remember that texting relationship can help you get closer to someone, but it can never define the whole relationship. You should use texting to converse with people you like and want to get to know better. However, they shouldn't replace human contact or real dialogue. As much as you may like to text a new friend or the person you have a crush on, you need to make the effort to call her and spend time together personally to actually make the relationship flourish.
You can use texting as a starting point for making a personal connection in real life. For example, if you end up talking about the release of a movie you've been waiting for a long time, you can ask a simple question, like "Do you want us to go together?". Or, if you find yourself talking in a dull moment, you can make a suggestion like "Would you like to go for an ice cream?". Don't be shy about it - you need to know that your friend probably wants to spend more time with you in person too
Part 3 of 3: Finding Interesting Topics to Talk About
Step 1. Ask for advice
People love to be asked for suggestions. In fact, believing that you are an expert in something and have wisdom to share makes human beings feel good. It doesn't have to be a really serious matter; just think of a topic your interlocutor might have an opinion on. Here are some questions you can ask:
- "This weekend I will go to Milan for the first time. Can you suggest me some places to eat?".
- "What do you recommend to buy my boyfriend for his birthday? I haven't the faintest idea."
- "What dress do you think I should wear to Sara's party? I can't make up my mind."
Step 2. Return to a topic you have talked about personally
One way to show this person that you really care is to ask them a question about something you talked about during the day, or even the week before. This lets her know that you actually pay attention to her and think about her even when you're not texting. Here are some ways to pick up a discussion topic:
- "Hey, how's your grandmother? Is she still in the hospital?"
- "Did they hire you at that restaurant where you sent your resume last week?"
- "How was your trip to Venice? I've always wanted to visit it".
Step 3. Suggest a fun experience to do together
Another way to start a brilliant conversation is to propose an activity to share with your interlocutor. It can be predicted later in the future, or in the course of that same week. If the experience sounds fun, then you'll have a lot to talk about via texting to fine-tune the details. Here are some tips you can do:
- "Would you like to go see an Eighties cover band concert with me next month? We could wear fluorescent clothes…".
- "Would you like to go see the latest Wolverine movie this weekend? Heard the popcorn is free next Sunday!"
- "Have you ever tried Cambodian cuisine? They've opened a new restaurant in town and I've heard it's cheap and delicious."
Step 4. Compliment the other person
Appreciation is never overrated, and you don't have to see this person face to face in order to give them a heartfelt compliment. A little appreciation can be quite helpful in starting a conversation and making her feel actually valued. As long as you are honest and don't make your interlocutor uncomfortable, it can be a great way to chat via text message. Here are some ideal phrases you can use to compliment someone through a text message:
- "You did very well during the football match yesterday. You really blew me away."
- "I really like the denim jacket you wore today. You're great at pairing retro clothes."
- "Thank you for helping me study for my math test last night. You're a great friend and I couldn't have done better without you."
Step 5. Talk about fun plans planned for the weekend
Another way to have a lively conversation is to name a fun activity you will be doing on the weekend or another day. It can be a good tactic to talk about a common interest, share sympathetic information about yourself, or even encourage the other person to join you to spend quality time together. Here are some phrases you might say:
- "This weekend, I'm going to the water park with my cousin. I always thought these parks were for kids, but I confess I can't wait to go there."
- "This weekend I will be attending a pottery class. I think it will be very interesting."
- "I wanted to tell you that this weekend I am going to the Alps with my family. I have never gone skiing before, have you?".
Step 6. Encourage the other person
If your interlocutor is telling you about an exam, interview or any other important event that is upon us, then you can text him later to remind him that you think about him and wish him the best. A touch of encouragement can be exactly what it takes to be successful and understand that you really love him. Here are some ways to wish a person good luck:
- "Good luck for tomorrow's exam. I know it will be fine!".
- "Rest well before the interview. You will see that you will leave everyone speechless."
- "This afternoon, show who you are to the other team! I'll cheer from the stands."
