Talking to your boyfriend is a great way to get close to him. As you converse, ask him many questions to deepen the discussion. You can talk about everything: dreams, ideas, goals and simpler things, like what you ate for lunch. Chatting with your boyfriend is fun and easy if you're open and honest, so don't hold back.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Talk about the things he likes
Step 1. Ask your boyfriend what his hobbies are
For example, if he's in a band, show your interest by asking him how rehearsals went. If he enjoys gardening, ask him what plants he grows this season and ask for updates on the state of his garden from time to time.
Other topics that your boyfriend might be interested in are soccer, skateboarding, cars, surfing, physical activity and fitness or electronic devices
Step 2. Ask him how his friends are doing
For example, you can say "What are you telling me about Marco?" or "Did Carlo buy the amplifier he was talking about?". By showing interest in people who are important to your boyfriend, you indirectly let him know that you care about him too.
- Don't be afraid to ask questions about your boyfriend's friends' problems. For example, if one of his friends recently ended a relationship, you can ask him "So how is Laura coping with the breakup?"
- The next time you are together with his friends, refer to a funny or interesting story he told you about them.
Step 3. Talk about your common interests
If you and your boyfriend are very fond of a band, you can say "I love the last song, did you hear it?" or "What's your favorite song from the new album?". If both of you are passionate about literature, you can talk to him about a book you're reading, or try to get him to join the book club.
You can also talk to him about political ideals or religious beliefs you share, your love of cooking, motorcycles or whatever you prefer
Step 4. Find out what your boyfriend's passions are
Ask him "What would you never give up?" or "What do you want to do in life?". Open-ended questions like these can spark great conversations and help you understand what motivates your boyfriend.
- After asking these questions, continue by asking him why he is passionate about the things that motivate him.
- Invite him to think more deeply about the origin of his passions. For example, you might ask him "Do you think this is a consequence of your upbringing?".
Method 2 of 3: Spice Up Conversations on Trivial Topics
Step 1. Ask your boyfriend to tell you two interesting things that happened to him during the day
In some cases, people have routines that they don't find interesting, but that may be interesting for you, and vice versa. Asking to talk to you about at least two interesting episodes will inspire your boyfriend to reflect and evaluate his day more carefully.
- Also, ask him how he felt.
- If it's not clear to you why the things your boyfriend mentioned are interesting, ask him to explain why.
- If he can't think of two interesting things, help him by asking "Where did you eat? What did you order?".
Step 2. Share news with him that has had an emotional impact on you
If you've heard some very happy or very sad news lately, talk to your boyfriend about it. For example, if a mine has collapsed and the miners have been miraculously rescued, you can say "Did you hear about the miners? I am delighted that they were rescued."
Encourage your boyfriend to talk to you about current events by asking him "What news did you read today?"
Step 3. Ask your boyfriend how his relative who has special characteristics is doing
For example, if his aunt is famous for saying or doing absurd things, ask him "So, how is our dear Aunt Linda?" Carry the conversation on by sharing how your mother's relationship with her new partner is going.
Even if your boyfriend hasn't seen the family in a while, you can still talk about them. Recalling the memory of a fun family-related event is a great way to bond with him
Method 3 of 3: Making Deeper Conversations
Step 1. Choose a private and quiet environment for more serious conversations
A noisy bar or party is good for more casual, lighthearted discussions, while you should be talking about more intimate topics in different places. The best time varies according to your preferences, but it's probably best to start the conversation in a quiet room at home in the evening.
- If you don't want to talk at home, you can meet him in the private room of a bar or in the study room of the library.
- Don't discuss serious topics on the internet or by text. The risk of misunderstanding is too high when you cannot see the facial expressions or hear the other person's tone of voice.
- There is no "right" time for serious conversations. In some relationships, you will not be serious for months, while in others, years will pass.
Step 2. Talk about where you see yourself in 5 years
This gives both of you a chance to envision your future plans together. If your boyfriend can't imagine such a distant time horizon, tell him about your vision for the next 5 years.
- Offer him advice on how he can make his dreams come true.
- Leading your boyfriend into a conversation about how he can fulfill his ambitions strengthens your relationship and leads him to appreciate your wisdom.
Step 3. If you are in a serious relationship with your boyfriend, ask him what names he likes for a child
This is an easy way to get him to talk about children. Choose a few boy and girl names. For example, you can ask him "Do you like Ophelia?" or "If we had a child, what would you like to call him?".
You can also ask him who could be godfather and godmother to your child
Step 4. Talk about marriage directly
A conversation on this topic shouldn't embarrass you, so break the ice with a straightforward approach. Ask your boyfriend if he wants to get married someday, then ask him more questions to figure out why he is or isn't interested in marriage.
- Also ask him where he would like to get married, if he plans to move after marriage, and so on.
- Discuss the topic with questions such as who will be his best man and how many people he would like to invite.
Step 5. Don't force him to talk about topics he doesn't like
In some cases even a simple question like "What did you do today?" it can be irritating or exhausting the other person. If your boyfriend makes it clear that he doesn't want to talk about something or that he just doesn't want to argue, don't insist.
