Breaking up a relationship can be very complicated; however, there are many ways to make this step easier and less stressful for both of you. Read the article to find out how to do it.
Steps
Method 1 of 2: Points to Consider
Step 1. Make sure you want to end the relationship
Before you leave him, imagine what your life would be like without him and be prepared for the idea that you probably won't be able to maintain a friendship. If you leave him, you realize you were wrong, and if you go back with him, you will have created irreversible damage to your relationship.
- Consider the advantages and disadvantages of a single life. On the one hand you can go out with whoever you want and flirt with whoever you want, but on the other hand you will spend much more time and special occasions alone.
- If the relationship makes you really unhappy, don't let your fear of loneliness hold you back. One of the worst things you can do for yourself, and for your boyfriend, is to stay with him if you're feeling miserable. If you don't end the relationship immediately, you will only be delaying the moment. The longer you wait, the harder it will be to get out later.
Step 2. Don't ask for a cooling off period
The "periods of reflection" are just a ploy to avoid facing the breakup directly. If you think you need a period of estrangement it is probably because you don't want to continue the relationship; however, you don't do it for fear of being alone. Think about it!
Remember that asking for a period of reflection is not that different from telling him you want to leave him; deep down, you're still communicating to him that the relationship doesn't make you happy
Method 2 of 2: Giving the News
Step 1. Choose an appropriate place and time to tell them
Sometimes it's not so much the fact of being left, but the way it's done that hurts the most.
- Do not leave your boyfriend if he is going through a very serious personal problem (a death in the family, problems at work, or other emotionally touching situations). If I did it would be like "shooting the Red Cross".
- Don't leave him in the middle of an activity that you can't stop immediately. For example, don't leave it at a restaurant, theater, or vacation dinner. Remember that after you tell him, he will likely need to be alone in order to recover.
- Don't leave it in the presence of other people. While it may seem obvious, make sure no one is listening when you break the news. The fact that there is someone who can listen to what is happening could add a good deal of humiliation to the situation.
- Don't leave him during an argument. At that moment, you may be doing, or saying, things that you may regret later on. Wait until you have regained your composure and approach the issue rationally, like an adult.
Step 2. Address the topic in person
Regardless of the length of the relationship, your boyfriend deserves you to tell him in person. Forget about: sms, messages on Facebook, e-mails etc …
- While a text message may seem easier, remember that it doesn't allow you to convey emotions such as tone of voice and expression. The result will be a much colder message, even if you had to write down what you would say verbally.
- If you're in a long-distance relationship, leaving it over the phone or the Internet will be your only option. In this case, write a sincere letter explaining that the decision was made after a long reflection. Make sure it's not too short (suggests disinterest), but not too long (it might just torture him for longer).
Step 3. Be honest
If the decision was made for a particular reason, if you were missing something, or something was wrong, tell them! You will save them a great deal of time and pain thinking about what the problem was, or looking for reasons that have nothing to do with reality (such as work, or family). While it may seem difficult, telling him what was really wrong will help him not make the same mistake in a future relationship.
Don't try to protect her feelings by saying things like, "You deserve a better person," or "Someday maybe we can get back together" unless you really think so. Staying vague, making promises you can't keep etc … will painfully keep it pending
Step 4. Give him time and space
Each relationship is different; however, taking some time without contact immediately after the breakup is desirable. Continuing to see each other every day will make it difficult to get over it.
Consider offering him a friendship, but only if you really want to. If you want it, keep in mind that it will take some time before you can live it; in particular, your boyfriend will need time to be able to see you in a different light. Do not force friendship immediately under any circumstances
Advice
- Leave your boyfriend as soon as the decision is made. Do not carry on the relationship by throwing "subliminal" messages to let him know that you are not happy. Doing so will only cause more pain and damage to the ongoing relationship, as well as a complete loss of your boyfriend's trust in you.
- Don't be too harsh for no reason. Make constructive remarks that can help him in his future relationships. Telling him, for example, that you leave him because you don't find him attractive is not at all necessary. Keep it to yourself!
- Take into account your boyfriend's character and personality. If the person is very emotional, you may want to consider sweetening the pill as much as possible so that it does less harm.
