Who are you? What makes you special? For some people, these questions can be a huge source of anxiety and stress. However, being special is not just about being exceptional or being "better" than others in a certain task or in demonstrating a certain skill. Being special means being respected, loved. If you want to emerge from the crowd and become a special person, you can learn to explore your inner self, giving it the respect it deserves and also understand how to distinguish yourself to make yourself an extraordinary person, who deserves the admiration of others, but also of herself.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Recognize your Uniqueness
Step 1. Find your "I"
Nobody can tell you how to become a special person. Being special is about finding your inner core from which your "uniqueness" radiates and making a commitment to empower that core. Whatever you call it - soul, essence, "who", inner wealth - you must accept yourself, define yourself as an individual and develop your personality. It takes commitment. What does it mean to be yourself? Who are you? And how can you do to improve yourself? These are the questions and conflicts that occupy a lifetime. To help orient your mind towards your deep uniqueness, consider the following questions:
- When do you feel completely comfortable? What makes you comfortable?
- Describe your ideal day. What does it include?
- What do other people appreciate about your job or behavior? What do you do well?
- Describe a recent dispute that has to do with someone or a situation. What lesson did you draw from it?
- If you could, how would you change yourself? Because?
Step 2. Make a list of your values
Being aware of your values can help you discover your individuality and live in a way that will make you happy. Take some time to think about your values and make a note of them. Then reorganize them in order of importance. Some things that might help you with the list include thinking about some moments in your life you were in:
- Delighted. For example, if you were at the height of happiness when surrounded and encouraged by friends and family, then having healthy relationships would be one of your values.
- Proud. For example, if you felt particularly proud when you graduated / graduated, then education could be something you aspire to as a value.
- Satisfied and gratified. For example, you may feel gratification or satisfaction after a productive day of work - hard work may therefore be valuable to you.
Step 3. Identify special features in others
What does it mean to be special? Look at the people you consider exemplary, noteworthy, or special in some way, and pinpoint the key characteristics that make them so in your eyes. You will likely find extraordinary people who fend for themselves, those who are fully dedicated to their work or those who are reserved and stoic the adversities of life. Everyone has their own points of view, so try to understand what you value in your grandfather, friend, or loved one, without focusing on what others are saying.
- Try not to consider celebrities, but look at people you know in real life. Superficial characteristics are easy to spot, such as when Brad Pitt is said to be special because he is rich and handsome, but it is difficult to discover, or even know, the true core of the person. We are only able to see the public persona, from which that artificial movie star aura spreads, but not the real person.
- Focus on how other people's characteristics resonate with your core values and avoid looking at superficial things. Being a special person relies a lot on deep awareness of your personality, not on how you think other people are.
- Prestige doesn't make someone more special. If someone has power over you, more successful than you, or is known and respected, it doesn't mean you have to emulate them.
Step 4. Take off the mask
We all wear one or more than one. When you go to work, you wear a professional mask, and when you go on a date after work, you may want to wear the social one. When you are with your friends, maybe you use one mask and, when you are with your family, you use another. Once you've done your best to identify what really makes you feel like yourself, these masks lose their usefulness. If you want to be special, go and see what's behind yours.
- To understand how you relate to your masks, think about times when you feel you have behaved falsely or inauthenticly. What were the circumstances? How did you feel?
- Check the contents on Facebook and Twitter to get a better idea of what virtual masks can be. People like to convey an image of themselves so that others can process and assimilate it in a particular way. In most cases it is not authentic, as you will never see the "real" person behind it.
Step 5. Keep your ego in check
The desire to be special is often confused with the desire to receive confirmation from others. We want to be respected and seen as successful and to be envied. However, being special does not mean being exceptional in everything. It doesn't mean being the best tennis player, the author with the most publications or the richest lawyer in town. Rather, it means staying authentic and true to yourself and maintaining your integrity. Identify your own satisfactions, don't use those of others to feed your ego.
- Psychologists often speak of the so-called internal and external "locus of control". Those who have a place of internal control find satisfaction in their inner self, believe in their abilities and actions. People with an external place of control rely on others for their own satisfaction. Which of the two profiles do you belong to?
- Avoid seeking the approval of others. Being satisfied with yourself is all you need to be someone special.
Step 6. Surprise yourself
Those who are truly special are constantly changing and are amazed by their own ability to evolve as a person and to develop their inner richness. If you want to be special, analyze the routine you have fallen into and try to develop a new point of view on your situation.
Keep learning new skills, reading books, and challenging yourself. You are never too old, too smart or too experienced to shake off your preconceptions. You are never so special that you don't make any mistakes
Part 2 of 3: Emerging
Step 1. Work hard to improve your skills
Many people are talented or naturally capable of something, but these qualities don't necessarily make them special. It can be helpful to have a natural inclination for a certain thing, but you need to work hard for the talent to turn into something truly special. So, work hard and develop your natural skills and abilities until you become an expert on the subject.
- Malcolm Gladwell extensively describes the 10,000-hour rule in his book "Outliers: The Success Story" to explain that people who are successful and show their worth have worked hard to get to that point. Before you can show your talent or uniqueness, you need to spend around 10,000 hours deepening an activity, an attitude or a skill.
- Move in the direction of your personal development, working hard, without believing that you will become special overnight. Maybe the first draft of the novel you tried to write won't be so brilliant, but it doesn't matter. Keep working and doing your best.
Step 2. Be a lion or a lioness
Special people don't expect favorable events to come upon them, but they hunt for what they want and take it. Special people have claws. They aim for things that they can get satisfaction from and that could improve their condition. They know what the necessary steps are to take. Therefore, be incessant in the pursuit of this kind of goals and objectives. Try to get what you want.
Don't make excuses. Those who aren't special spend a lot of time talking about the good old days and speculating. Don't give in to this type of behavior
Step 3. Don't censor yourself
Show what you are worth. You can be yourself authentically, freely, naturally and uncensored both alone and in public. If there's only one part of you that you don't let other people see, consider opening up and exposing yourself more. If you have a tendency to be reserved, start expressing your deepest thoughts when necessary.
- Don't be condescending. If you disagree with someone, express your disagreement. People respect those who speak with their heads and those who are not afraid to seek the truth. If you surround yourself with people who feel the need to feed their ego by having lickers around who flaunt affability, then they are not that special. Better leave them alone.
- Being uncensored doesn't mean letting every thought that goes through your head get out of your mouth. Being special doesn't mean intentionally behaving strangely, cruel, or rude. Rather, it means to stop holding back when one should speak, act or think. If you feel the need to say something, say it. If you feel the need to think, think.
Step 4. Surround yourself with new people
It's nice to have a close-knit group of friends and loved ones that you feel comfortable with. However, those who are special make an extra effort to restructure their expectations and preconceptions to try to understand the various types of people in front of them. Be willing to listen.
- If you are young, you can develop your relationship and empathic skills by gaining work and professional experiences. Look for an after-school job that keeps you busy a few hours a week and take it seriously.
- Hang out with people you disagree with religiously, politically, or ethically. Don't try to convince people that you are wrong about something, but try to understand others. Open your mind.
Step 5. Develop your own style
Give yourself the chance to feel safe and special by taking care of yourself and your appearance. Buy clothes that flatter your figure and that you like to wear. Look after your appearance so that you gain confidence. If that means a crew cut and wearing cowboy boots, that's fine. If it means bringing the long ones to the waist, perfect! To look like someone special, you don't have to be a Gucci model or emulate sports icons. There is no special style. Wear what you want, what gives you confidence.
Part 3 of 3: Being Extraordinary
Step 1. Be optimistic and accept the gruff person in you
To be special, there is no particular attitude. A special person doesn't need to always smile like an idiot or be deadly serious and humorless, like a monk. If you lean towards one of these two attitudes, don't worry if it's "wrong" or "right". Just be yourself. If you are messy, continue to be messy. If you don't like clutter, tell others it's not like you. Special and exceptional people have different personalities and temperaments from each other.
Step 2. Stop telling people what you think they want to hear
There is nothing you can say to make others special. Being pleasant doesn't make you special, it just makes you pleasant. This attitude might help you in your personal ambitions, but is it really what you want? Be honest with yourself and you will set out on a more authentic and satisfying path just for yourself. Say how you think. Tell the truth.
Step 3. Accept failures
Taking risks to get what you want is part of the desire to be an uncensored, unique and special person. Don't let the possibility of failure stop you from getting what you want. Accept failure, even if it comes early, even if it is frequent. Learn from mistakes so that over time you can get closer and closer to what you want.
In Silicon Valley, Fail-Con is a rather popular event that celebrates the mistakes of start-ups, allowing people to come together and gather around failed ideas and businesses. Each failure takes you one step closer to success. Failure is infinitely better than passivity
Step 4. Empathize with people to see the particularities of each one
While being special involves a great deal of commitment to yourself, it is equally important to stay focused on others. Recognize the uniqueness and exceptional qualities possessed by others. Don't let your ego interfere with what's special about the people around you. In turn, you too will be special to them.
Respecting others means making them feel just as special. So respect other people and treat them the same way you treat yourself
Advice
- Always be cheerful. This way, you will bring warmth into the hearts of others as you strive to be kind to them. Everything you do is an effort that makes you special.
- Each is priceless. Therefore, you will be yourself as soon as you realize it.
- Smile more! When you smile, you show that you are comfortable with yourself.
- There is no need to be an angel, but try not to get in trouble!
- Compliment others.
- Don't expect results from day one. Becoming a special, unique and proud person takes time.
- When you are with others, be happy and try to give joy (without getting trampled). They will be nice to you if you make them happy!
- When you smile at someone and they don't respond to your smile, ask them what's wrong. Often, people are good at hiding their sadness, but it can actually be helpful to talk!
Warnings
- If you offer help and it is turned down, don't push it until the person comes to you. This way you will save time and effort. There will always be other people willing to get help from you.
- Think before you speak or act. Sometimes you want to help out, while the other person wants to do it for themselves. By insisting too much that she needs help, you risk hurting her susceptibility and hurting her pride, but also damaging your relationship.
- Beware of grumpy people and those who always complain! They will demoralize you and keep you from feeling truly special.
