During the early stages of an acquaintance, texting is a great way to break the ice and find out if there is an interest on both sides to deepen the relationship. If you want to chat with a girl via text message, but have no idea where to start, this is the guide for you.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Start Chatting with a Girl Through Messages
Step 1. Get his phone number
Try to get it directly from her. It can be a little annoying to get a text from someone if you have no idea how they managed to get your number.
- An easy way is to talk about a funny video or photo, saying, "I'm sending you the link / photo. Wait, I don't have your phone number! Can you give it to me?". If you act with ease, without it looking like an important event, he will give it to you calmly.
- If you need more help getting her phone number, read How to Get a Girl's Number.
- If he doesn't want to leave it, don't try to get it from someone else. It is a question of respect for its limits. Try asking her again when you get to know her a little better.
Step 2. Say hello to her, but don't just say "hello" to her
It's hard to argue with a simple "hello", other than the fact that you risk sounding apathetic or boring. Ask her a question or ask her how she is.
- A question is perfect because it allows you to keep the conversation going thanks to the response you receive. If you ask her about her English homework, she can answer you and, in return, you could ask her something else to get more clarification and keep chatting. On the other hand, if you just say "hey" to her, she certainly won't know what to tell you.
- Usually, open-ended questions are more effective than those involving a simple "yes / no" because it is possible to reply in more detail. For example, if you ask her "Do you like comedy films?", She will reply with a monosyllable, while "What kind of films do you like?" it requires a longer and more articulate response that will facilitate the continuation of the conversation.
Step 3. Tell her something relevant
If this is your first time trying to break the ice, it's important not to give her the impression that the message is misplaced or unmotivated. Talk about something you have in common or about both of you.
- For example, if there is an event organized by the school that night, you can ask her "Are you going to the game / party tonight?". You could also invite her to go together (or with a group of friends if you don't have the courage to propose her on a first date).
- You could also have a chat about something that involved both of you, perhaps saying: "It was absurd to meet us in the pizzeria the other night!" or "Incredible how today the teacher scolded that boy during his English lesson!".
Step 4. Talk about his interests
If you know she likes a certain band, TV series or movie, get it in the middle! Ask her what she thinks about the latest episode or if she can recommend any songs from that band that you absolutely need to listen to. This will let her know that you care about her opinions and that you don't forget what she likes or dislikes.
- These topics are perfect because they focus on the passions of the interlocutor, whether it is a musical group or a TV series. People love to talk, follow, and learn new information about what they find exciting. It can be really exciting to meet someone you share the same interests with.
- If you disagree on something, don't panic! A little comparison on the "best Beatles song" will help you get to know each other better, as well as be fun. Just try not to insult her or say something inappropriate.
Step 5. Use emoticons
They are fun and mischievous, but also innocent enough not to make you look too bold or out of place. Just use a few smiley faces and you will notice!
- If you're not sure how to use an emoticon, start putting one at the end of a message: for example, "Did you see the last episode of New Girl? It was great!:)".
- Generally, winks are more allusive and are used in flirting and double entender messages. Do not use them when a normal one would be better, as they could be out of place or even confusing.
- Try not to overdo the emoticons, otherwise they risk confusing or being unpleasant.
Step 6. Go ahead
Once the conversation gets off to a good start, try to keep it alive!
- Read the article How to send a text message to someone you like if you need more ideas.
- When you're ready, you can take it to the next level by using messages to see you in person, whether it's on a tête-à-tête date, a casual or group meeting. Texting is fun, but to build a relationship, you need to talk to each other in person.
Part 2 of 2: Knowing When To Send Messages
Step 1. Stop texting her if she's not interested
If she doesn't seem to have any interest (i.e., takes forever to reply, rarely replies, or sends trivial, monosyllabic messages), you should consider not contacting her via text. If he explicitly invites you to stop, give up.
- If he doesn't want to talk to you, you're wasting your time. Find another cute girl to text with.
- If you keep texting her when she asks you to stop, you risk being accused of harassment or stalking.
Step 2. Call or talk to her in person if you have something important to say
Even six messages are a great way to get to know someone without too much pressure or to break the ice, many times it is inappropriate to address certain topics via text message, such as:
- Ask her out. If you want to invite a girl out with you, do it face to face or over the phone, but don't use texting unless the conversation is introduced casually and marginally.
- Close a story. If you want to end a relationship with a girl, be kind enough to talk to her in person or on the phone, but don't use a text to keep yourself from being exposed. It is an insensitive and immature gesture.
- Give comfort or advice for important problems. If you have recently passed away a very close relative or are dealing with some very difficult personal problems, a text message can be a perfect reminder or a great way to say, "I'll call you later to talk about it." However, don't let messages replace your interactions in difficult times. A friend needs to hear your voice to know that you are close to him.
- If in doubt, ask yourself if the topic is extremely important or unimportant. Messages inevitably have a more negligible and / or secondary character than phone calls or conversations in person, so if you want someone to take you seriously or know that what you have to say is very important, avoid texting.
Step 3. Use your intelligence when writing a message
Remember that text messages create a written and sometimes photographic trace, impossible to delete. Don't send anything you don't want to get into the wrong hands, either because the recipient may be forwarding or sharing the message, or because their phone may have been stolen or lost.
- Do not send sexual messages or pictures of you naked unless you are over 18 and the recipient has given their consent to receive them. It is illegal to disclose images of minors, parts of them or child pornography material. Unsolicited submission of nudity photos can be considered criminal harassment.
- Do not send inquiries or discussions of illegal activity, as messages sent over the telephone can be admitted as evidence in a judicial proceeding.
- It is not wise of you to use texting to give free rein to the anger you feel towards your boss, your mother, a teacher, or anyone else you don't want to know about what you send. Even if you trust that the recipient will not show it to anyone, you cannot know what could happen if the phone is stolen or lost, or if one of his friends accidentally snoops or reads his messages.
