It's hard to handle a friend who thinks they have more authority than you, and it may even make you question your friendship. This article will help you analyze the problem and best solve the situation.
Steps
Step 1. Breathe deeply
When your friend makes a haughty comment, stop and think about how you feel. Are you hurt or angry? Don't you feel up to it? Reflecting on your feelings will help you not to overreact and give you the opportunity to respond constructively. Understanding your feelings will also help you in the next step.
If you have trouble understanding your emotions read How to Learn to Control Your Emotions
Step 2. Try to understand why your friend makes certain observations
Maybe he wants to argue with you or take revenge on something, and for that reason he makes haughty comments. Your friend may also be intimidated by you and try to defend themselves. Does he realize his comments hurt you? Are your comments mere jokes or insults? Is your friend extremely conceited? Your reaction to his haughty comment could be the key to understanding what your friend really wants to communicate. If you feel hurt it probably means that you and your friend are in the midst of a "cold war" - there will be no sparks and fire, but it is a full-fledged battle nonetheless. The sense of inadequacy can indicate that your friend is feeling inferior and threatened, and is trying to communicate this to you.
Step 3. Formulate an answer
Regardless of what you do, try to avoid aggressive language.
- If you have analyzed the problem and have come to the conclusion that it is something stupid or inconsistent, let your friend win. Don't worry about it and do it for the sake of your friendship. Avoid defending yourself for something that isn't worth it. Behave wisely. If your friend "wins" maybe he will feel like you and will go back to behaving as before.
- If his haughty behavior is caused by something important, let your friend know that you have received his message, but that he should change his attitude towards you. Let him know that you are willing to find a compromise to end all negative feelings between you. Finding a solution for both is difficult, but it's worth it.
- If your friend feels inadequate there is probably no response that will be able to put an end to his haughty behavior. Try to help your friend improve self-confidence. Compliment him for every success, even for the smallest. Engage in activities where your friend can demonstrate his skills. Highlight your friend's strengths and compare them with yours and don't overlook your weaknesses. Focusing on the different qualities of people and teamwork will help strengthen the friendship. The phrase "where I am weak you are strong" is a great example to explain this situation.
Step 4. Watch your friend's reaction
If you want to fix the problem with a simple response to the snooty comment, your friend will most likely be watching you closely as well. If your answer is sincere and aimed at improving your friendship, your friend should react in a positive way, and the situation will be resolved immediately. If your friend continues to be snooty, start over and repeat the whole process. Often a wrong comment at the wrong time can taint a relationship. So, if the friend is very important, try again.
Step 5. Honestly evaluate your progress
If the behavior continues or if your friend is always snooty despite promising to change, think about ending your friendship. Sometimes, even if you don't want to hurt someone, a person can carry old wounds that prevent them from having sincere friendships and lead them to argue very easily.
Step 6. Don't allow anyone to be snooty with you indefinitely
Complacency makes others feel inferior, inadequate and incompetent, destroying self-confidence. If you have discussed the problem with your friend, if you have told him to change his attitude, if you have asked him to end it and he does not listen to you, no matter what promises he has made to you, then you should seriously consider ending the friendship.. Remember what Eleanor Roosevelt said: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
Advice
- Both you and your friend are human beings. You don't know the cause that sparked his haughty attitude - maybe you were rude to him too. If you think your behavior or tone of voice may have contributed to the problem, apologize. It won't hurt you. You can say something like “I didn't mean to hurt you or make you feel inferior. If I did, I am deeply sorry, please forgive me ". Very simple.
- If your friend is a type who "breaks easily", perhaps it is better to avoid an intimate friendship. A type that “breaks easily” is someone who can't manage close relationships, because he believes the relationship is going to end anyway or because he is afraid of getting too close to someone. Whatever the reason, some people are unable to have sincere friendships. If you care about your friend, accept him for who he is and enjoy the kind of relationship you can have with him.
Warnings
- Some people carry inner wounds with them. It is like tempered glass: on the outside it looks strong and transparent, but on the inside it is broken and even the slightest pressure can tear it into a thousand pieces. Such people are extremely fragile and need compassion - even if it is difficult to maintain a good and lasting friendship with them.
- If a friend makes haughty comments about you, consider the fact that they might be right. Think carefully about your behavior before you feel offended.
