How to Tell Someone You Still Love Him: 6 Steps

2024 Author: Samantha Chapman | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 09:13

Sometimes some factors, such as distance, work commitments, or personal differences, can create a deep fracture in a relationship, leaving no room for possible compromises. Other times, after spending a lot of time together, people start to think that a relationship is worn out and irretrievable. This article will explain how to prove your love once again, even in times when you don't know how.

Steps

Step 1. First, think about your relationship

Ask yourself sincerely if you really still love that person, if you want you can discuss the topic with a trusted friend who knows you well, and who is mature enough to be able to advise you. Problems arise in all relationships, such as forgetting an important date, or failing to allow time for your loved one, but in many cases an explanation that comes from the heart is enough to put an end to the tension. On the other hand, there are other reasons why a relationship struggles to move forward, or inevitably appears destined to break up, for example distance or personal reasons. Before telling you that there is nothing more to be done, do not draw hasty conclusions, try to understand why your relationship is going to the bottom. Here are some things to consider:

Distance is perhaps the most difficult problem to overcome. People can become insecure and jealous if they don't have the opportunity to date. If you are apart for more than six months it will be difficult for the relationship to work. One way to fix it might be to make the decision to move in and live together.
Many relationships lose their freshness, and the sense of novelty, after a while. That special atmosphere that both partners initially tried to create is canceled out. Over time, even the most passionate relationships, full of expectations, slip into everyday life and the emotion of the early days, and the great hopes, are set aside.
Love is almost never blind, and if it is, it is childhood love. In general, first loves are more and more naive and superficial, as you gain experience of life you understand that perhaps the chosen people are not truly compatible, perhaps an important decision was made when you were too young. True love transcends anything else and is built on mutual trust, the lucky ones will have immediately met the right person, but in general it is necessary to reach a certain maturity before being able to recognize your other half. However, not everyone acquires this maturity and is able to make effective decisions.
There may be domestic, work, religious, philosophical reasons, political differences, incompatibility of opinions or different points of view on one's future together. For example, some couples may want children, while others may not, if the decision was imposed by one person, and not wanted by both, there will be strong friction. Often you think you have a person by your side who does not turn out to be the same as you imagined, here is another sign of blind love (see the previous passage).
If you find yourself in a situation where your partner exploits you, acts cruel, wants to be brainwashed, or gives you guilt, you are probably not experiencing true love. It is an example of Stockholm Syndrome, in which the abused person is unable to abandon his persecutor, and despite the suffering he feels he wants to have him close. Love must not only be spontaneous, but must bring happiness to both partners and guarantee them a peaceful present and future. If not, consider continuing an unbalanced and harmful relationship.
If you feel like you can't be completely honest, or if you have doubts, there's no point trying to fix things every time. New problems will always arise if this is the case.
In some cases, someone does not want to break up a relationship because they think they are the cause of the end of a love and are afraid of having to take responsibility for it.
Sometimes people persist in wanting to save a relationship even though they understand that it is not a good condition for either of them, and that it will probably have no future. In this case it is always better to find the courage to say it and accept the reality of the facts. It will be an important life lesson.
A person may have too much confidence in their abilities, and in their own strength, to the point that they always use situations to their advantage.
- Too often women (both young and adult) delude themselves that they can change a man only with the power of their love. To men this can appear a manipulative gesture, not only does it disturb them to realize how their companions try to change them as they please, but also because imposing transformations on someone by leveraging love means diminishing that feeling, suddenly depriving it of its value, as well as removing dignity from the loved one. In the end, the desired results are not achieved and being together will no longer have meaning.
- On the other hand, however, some men believe they are so charming and intelligent that they devalue their companions and fail to grasp their value. At the same time, some women overestimate themselves and their feelings, creating an exaggerated mental projection that does not correspond to the real situation. Men, on the other hand, may not notice their own feelings at all, or those of others, in pursuit of what is best for them, or for the relationship in progress.
A simple discussion can completely break a relationship, especially in young couples, in which each of the two feels the offended party and is ready to unload all the blame on the other. Some think that love is equivalent to a contract, so if they choose to return to the relationship they expect to receive something in return, even if for the other partner it could only be a compromise. It is rare that the faults are always and only of one person, so it is always important to examine things well, and their context. Compensation and trade-offs are usually signs of a superficial relationship and not destined to last.

Step 2. Reflect on what you would like for the future, your goals and the lifestyle you plan to achieve

It is an important step to understand how much you love someone. Try to understand what place that person (but also your family, and friends) occupies in your life. Determine what your priorities are and the career you want to pursue. Some things to consider:

Think about where you imagine yourself in five years. Does your partner have the same wishes as you? Often in a harmful relationship, people experience one of the two extremes, or the partner does not seek a future together, or tries to change in order to be able to be part of the other's future. Only by managing to find a balance between love and the importance of one's aspirations is it possible to establish a couple relationship that is constructive and fair for both.
Ask yourself if you and your partner manage to have common goals, such as saving money to buy a house, or for a vacation together, if you are thinking of children or want to carry out some projects. Only if you are able to look to the future together, trying to apply yourselves as best as possible to make it possible, there are concrete possibilities that your love will last over time.

Step 3. Express your feelings, write down everything that goes through your head, as a stream of consciousness

Explore your emotions and aspirations thoroughly. Think about whether you want to have that person close only for fear of loneliness, or to avoid feelings of guilt, to establish your power over someone, or for any other reason than simply love. Don't lie to yourself or your partner. Forgive yourself and show yourself able to forgive the other too if you understand that there are not the right conditions for a satisfying story. If the thought "I love you but I would like to …" crosses your mind then it is not about sincere feelings, in any case do not impose conditions. Don't just think about your own needs but also those of your relationship. If there are some things you would like to ask your partner to quit, such as frequent alcohol use, you may want to get help from someone, such as a friend, relative, or external counselor who can give you targeted advice. Do not expect to be able to change someone, everyone has to work only on himself, certain things cannot be imposed.

Step 4. After studying the nature of your relationship, and reflecting on your feelings and aspirations, think about what you could do to make things work between you

Sometimes people are too reserved and fail to express their feelings in the right way, often they would like to hide what they think even from their life partners. There are many reasons that could hold you back from expressing your love for someone, perhaps it is a lack of trust in yourself, in the other, or fear for the future in general. Think about the best way to communicate your feelings, whether in a face-to-face meeting, over the phone, by email, or through a letter. You can evaluate the idea of a gift to offer only if it is a simple thing that comes from the heart, it must only be a symbol to express something.

Step 5. Have no special expectations

Sure you will be happy if you can mend a relationship, but also be prepared for the situation where the person you feel you still love is unwilling to accept you again, or no longer reciprocates your feelings. Maybe your partner has lost faith in you, or feels like they can't feel what they did in the past anymore. Probably the other will also have reflected on the situation in the same way you did, so you must make an effort to accept his decision. When a love ends it's rare not to feel broken and deeply hurt, even if it was a difficult relationship with no future. With maturity, it is possible to accept that no relationship can last forever, a quarrel, the natural evolution of things, or finally death. It is impossible to know for sure that you always have that person by your side, throughout your life.

Step 6. Be brave

The more you think about your relationship problems, the harder it will be to keep calm and the situation under control. Try to reach a middle ground, do not express what you feel without taking into account all aspects of your relationship, but, if the other person has already thoroughly analyzed their position and does not want to get back into the game, there is no. nothing you can do to avoid breaking up. If this happens, that person will have lost an important life lesson, because by not accepting the risk, important opportunities are often lost. When you love someone you find a way to tell them, it's better to express yourself spontaneously, without thinking too much about doing it right, rather than hiding in fear and living in regret.