For how long you may have spent with a guy, finding the courage to tell him you love him can be a nerve-wracking experience. The most important thing is to express what you feel in a simple and direct way; there is no need to resort to an excessive or too elaborate gesture. Just take a deep breath, find your strength and be yourself.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Tell him the First Time
Step 1. Wait for an occasion when he feels happy and safe
If your boyfriend is stressed out about work or school, if he is facing family problems or a personal crisis worries him, he will probably not be happy to accept an important development in your relationship. There is no "perfect time", so don't look for it. Any quiet moment of relaxation is a good opportunity. However, there are "wrong moments" in which to talk about love:
- After sexual intercourse
- Drunk
- By message or by phone
- During or after an argument or argument.
Step 2. Find a quiet, private place where you can talk
Is there a special place that draws strong memories for both of you? You could choose the location of your first date or the place where you went out for dinner for your two-month anniversary. The important thing is to find a place where you can talk without being interrupted.
- Ask him to take a walk with you, help you with a simple housework or just say, "Come and talk to me for a few minutes."
- It doesn't have to be a romantic movie spot like a cliff-top by the sea, but neither does a crumbling alleyway.
Step 3. Speak simply and directly from the heart
Don't try to do big romantic gestures - this is not the right time and there is a possibility that it will backfire. Only your feelings matter, so don't think too much. Speak from the heart and start an open conversation, not a long monologue.
Start talking honestly about your relationship: about how happy he makes you, about the beautiful memories you shared, about your feelings, to naturally get to the subject of love
Step 4. Close your eyes, take a deep breath and say "I love you"
In the end, all you have to do is say those words, so close your eyes, count to three and let them out. Tell her however you like, because the words themselves matter. If you wish, look your boyfriend in the eye, smile boldly and show him the wonderful, sincere and loving person that you are. Remember: the simpler your statement, the sweeter it will be. If you are shy and don't know what to do, try these methods:
- "I am in love with you".
- "Marco, I want you to know that the last eight months have been the happiest of my life. I feel like I've created a really deep bond with you and every day we spend together is better than the last. I love you."
- "I've been holding this for some time and saying it out loud is really a relief. I love you."
- Approach him, kiss him on the cheek, then briefly whisper "I love you" in his ear.
Advise:
keep calm and try to be confident. While it's normal to be a little nervous, if you digress by saying things like "I have something to tell you, but I don't know how" or "I don't know if I really have to tell you …" you will make the discussion more serious. Things should happen as smoothly as possible.
Step 5. Express your feelings remotely with a well-thought-out letter or phone call
If you can't meet your boyfriend in person, but still feel the need to tell him what you feel, there's nothing stopping you from saying "I love you" from a distance. A face-to-face statement is preferable because it is more intimate; with commitment, however, you can also make a long-distance conversation intimate. Instead of closing a message with an "I love you" left hanging, take the time to write a letter or email with the sole purpose of declaring your love. They don't need to be long texts, but they must be written from the heart.
- Let him know that you would rather speak to him in person, but that you can no longer keep this secret.
- Tell the story, event or emotions that made you fall in love.
- Let him know he doesn't have to answer right away; you just wanted to let him know how you feel.
Part 2 of 4: Tell him on a regular basis
Step 1. Take the time to tell your boyfriend you love him or to show him your love once a day
If you commit to making a love gesture every day, saying a simple "I love you" or putting toothpaste on your toothbrush for him, you will keep your relationship strong for a long time. If you're worried about showing affection, make an effort to find an opportunity a day to do so. Even a very long, passionate kiss is a great way to slow down the time you spend with him for a few moments.
Step 2. Find ways to express your love without using words
Some people have a hard time saying the words "I love you". This does not mean, however, that they do not love their partner. If you also have trouble showing your affection, try these simple techniques to let your boyfriend know you care:
- Hold or shake his hand.
- Make plans for the future or plan your next appointments.
- Introduce it to friends and family.
- Surprise him with kisses, hugs, and displays of affection.
- Compliment him, encourage him and admire him.
- Do small favors for him, especially when he seems angry.
Step 3. Give him space and free time
This may sound paradoxical to you, but in some cases the best thing you can do is leave your boyfriend alone. Remember: you fell in love as different people, with separate lives. You have to maintain this independence to be happy and in love. Don't think that you always have to talk to him to show him how important he is. In some cases, giving your boyfriend some free time is the best way to let him know you love him.
Step 4. Speak openly and truthfully when angry
Even couples in love fight. Don't avoid misunderstandings or problems by saying "I love you" and accepting your concerns. Even the most loving couples argue, and to keep love alive, you need to deal with problems directly and honestly. So don't think that a disagreement with your boyfriend will ruin your relationship; it doesn't mean that you no longer believe in your declaration of love, you are just showing your affection in an alternative way.
Never let your partner convince you to do something you don't like to "show your love". Love doesn't have to be tried
Step 5. Remind your partner that you love him when you really mean it, not because you feel compelled to
Not everyone feels comfortable saying "I love you". There are people who manage to say it after every phone call, others who reserve such words only for special moments. So don't worry about how often you should say "I love you" or how much you hear it; each person is different and demonstrates their love in a unique way.
These words have a much deeper meaning when you really think about them. If you tell your boyfriend "I love you" only when you are enraptured by love, you will both be much happier
Part 3 of 4: Managing your Response
Step 1. Make it clear that you are not demanding an answer
You can pause, smile and start talking about something else, indicating that the romantic moment is over, saying, "I thought you should know." You can even explicitly tell him that you are not waiting for an answer and that he may take some time to think. If you don't give the impression that you want to force your boyfriend to reciprocate your feelings, he will be more likely to do it of his own accord; if not immediately, at least when he realizes how lucky he is to be with you.
When you speak, try to formulate each sentence in the first person: "I understand that I love you", "I fell in love with you" etc., instead of using terms like "we" and "us"
Step 2. Sit down and listen to what he has to say when you are done talking
Guys aren't always encouraged to communicate their thoughts and feelings, so it's very important to let your partner know that they can confide in you. Listen actively by reading between the lines, waiting for him to finish speaking before answering, and asking follow-up questions. Avoid tying what she says to yourself. You revealed to him that you are in love with him, now be patient as he processes his emotions.
Silence, while it may seem embarrassing to you, is not negative. He may be surprised and need time to digest the news; don't think that any of you should always talk
Step 3. Give him time and space to think
Just because you don't want an answer doesn't mean he doesn't feel pressured. If it goes missing for a day or two, don't worry too much - it just needs to think. If you run after him or follow his every move while waiting for a reply, you will push him away.
Step 4. Continue to treat him as a friend, whatever the answer, to develop your relationship
If she feels embarrassed or tells you she doesn't love your feelings back, be kind and friendly - you've done your part! If, on the other hand, he smiles or replies that he loves you too, there is no reason to immediately run to an altar. Declaring love for your boyfriend is just another step in your relationship, not the end of the line. It is not enough to say the words "I love you", it is much more important to behave with him as a person who loves him.
- Keep talking to him regularly, having open and honest conversations about your relationship.
- Don't feel the need to tell him you love him every day; actions are more important than words.
Step 5. Respect their decision or response without arguing
In the end, you can't help but express your feelings. You can't check his answer and you shouldn't. Whatever he says, respect his wishes and move on with your life. It takes a lot of courage and passion to tell a guy you love him; be proud of yourself for the commitment and audacity you have shown.
Part 4 of 4: Finding the Time and Courage to Talk
Step 1. Ask yourself why you want to say "I love you"
Love is a beautiful and joyful emotion. But it is also very powerful, and you should only utter this phrase with total sincerity. This doesn't mean you should write an essay about your feelings; But you should ask yourself what you hope to achieve by telling your boyfriend that you love him.
- If he has already said "I love you" and you feel the same, go ahead and say it.
- If your relationship is strong, if you know him and yourself well, it might be time to tell him "I love you".
- If you are convinced that you are in love and you feel the need to tell him, trust your instincts.
- If you think you're only saying this because you want to find out if he loves you or because you feel like you have to, avoid it. Love is something you give to others, it doesn't require a response from other people.
- If you're just friends, but want more, you should ask him out with you before telling him you love him.
Advise:
imagine that you confessed your love to him and he replied that he does not reciprocate your feelings. Do you still wish you had told him? If the answer to this question is no, then you may not be ready to tell him you love him yet.
Step 2. Spend time together talking, dating, and making romantic gestures
Make sure you have some quality time with your boyfriend before throwing the "I love you" bomb. This will allow you to better evaluate your feelings towards him. In all likelihood, if you love him, he will be attracted to you too. Focus only on fun and relaxation; loving doesn't mean forcing emotions, so spend as much time in the relationship as it needs.
- Ultimately, saying "I love you" means confidently expressing your feelings. If you're not sure how he feels, that's okay! This is why you want to tell him what you feel.
- Does he feel comfortable being alone with you? If not, telling him you love him might scare him.
Step 3. Talk to mutual friends you trust if you're not sure if the relationship between you is just a friendship or something more
In some cases, you just need a change of perspective. People often don't say "I love you" because they're afraid their partner won't feel the same way. In the end, what matters is that you say what you mean sincerely. But if you are worried:
- Ask a mutual friend you trust if they can imagine a romance between the two of you.
- Talk to one of his friends and ask him if he's interested in any girls right now. If you dare, ask him if he has feelings for you.
Step 4. Make sure he knows you like him before you tell him you love him
Even your best friend may be shocked by the words "I love you". You may have been thinking about your feelings for months, but this is a big surprise to him. Imagine if a friend of yours suddenly told you that he is in love with you: at the very least, you would not know what to say. So don't jump straight to love; take time to explore your feelings. Take the pulse of the situation a few weeks in advance in these ways:
- "I just wanted to tell you that I like you a lot."
- "I love spending time with you. Those have been exceptional months."
- "Let's just try to go out together with you and me."
Step 5. Let a few days pass before you give voice to your love, the most wonderfully confused human emotion
If you feel overwhelmed by affection, you feel butterflies in your stomach every time you see your boyfriend and you want to say "I love you!" whenever you get the chance, you are probably madly in love. However strong your feelings are, resist the temptation to talk to someone about it. Instead, try to relax and enjoy the thrust of love for a few days. Make sure it's not a crush but true love. If after a period of reflection your feelings have not changed, be prepared to make your move.
If after a few days your feelings aren't as intense anymore, you just had a crush and you weren't in love. Love stays inside the heart longer
Step 6. Consider letting him say "I love you" first
It is scientifically proven that men say "I love you" first more often than women. To make matters worse, many relationship books firmly state that women should say "I love you" second. The reasons are unclear ("Evolutionary advantage for men who make a commitment first") or are completely false ("Women who declare their love first seem too needy of affection"), but tradition often follows this suggestion. Like it or not, some men find it odd if the woman says "I love you" first. This shouldn't stop you from expressing your feelings, but it's worth thinking about.
Advice
- Make sure you truly love your boyfriend. "Love" is a word that is used too casually today and anyone who has heard it uttered by a person who was not sincere can explain to you that it is not a subject to joke about.
- Assess the status of your relationship before making any drastic decisions. Are you in the stable phase? In the romantic one? In the one where you fight for power? Even if you are certain that what you are feeling is real, revealing your feelings when the relationship is still in a stage of immaturity can ruin a good experience, especially since guys have a hard time talking about love.
- Don't be afraid to be spontaneous. While planning ahead to perfect your technique can help, don't focus on creating the perfect situation to the point where you don't notice an excellent opportunity to hit him right in the heart.
- Talk to him in first person. Never let someone else reveal your feelings. You have to take this risk.
Warnings
- Don't talk bad about a guy who doesn't love you back. You will look jealous and mean.
- Be prepared for the possibility that he doesn't love you; remember, however, that it is not the end of the world. Saying "I love you" is a very important step for many men, because it implies a commitment.
