Telling a man you love him will most likely cause a radical change in your relationship. As much as you feel ready to start a new chapter in your life, your man may not be. You need to be confident in your feelings and examine his actions to see if he is falling in love with you too. If you're on the same page, what you're feeling shouldn't scare him.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Prepare
Step 1. Find out if it's true love or just infatuation
Before declaring yourself, analyze how you really feel. Have you been overwhelmed all of a sudden by intense feelings or has love been fueled over time? Generally, infatuation comes on suddenly, as true love grows gradually.
- Before declaring yourself, you should be sure that you know this person well. If you've been together for at least three months and you've already had a fight a couple of times, you're definitely able to understand your man better.
- If you've been out for a few weeks and everything seems perfect, it's possible that it's infatuation, not true love.
- Best to keep your feelings to yourself until you are sure you really love him.
- If he doesn't reciprocate, declaring yourself prematurely can scare him.
Step 2. Find out if she reciprocates
It's possible your man feels the same, but he hasn't told you yet. Although he hasn't come forward, his actions can prove what he really feels. Men often let their feelings show through actions rather than words. Think about your relationship to see if it sent you any signals. Ask yourself a few questions.
- Do you consider yourself a priority?
- Does he name you when he talks about future projects and goals?
- Have you met people who play an important role in your life (such as family, friends, co-workers)?
- If he shows you affection through his actions, he probably won't be frightened when you tell him you have deep feelings for him.
- Do you speak in terms of "we" instead of "I"?
- Are you always trying to take care of yourself and make you smile?
- Is he affectionate? Does he want to hug you, kiss you and hold your hand?
- If he shows you affection, he probably won't be scared when you declare yourself. If his actions show you some detachment, it is best to avoid stepping forward.
Step 3. Try to understand why you want to tell him you love him
You should only do this if you really mean it, not to feel more confident in the relationship or to be told that he loves you. Never use these words to manipulate him, get him to stay with you, or make up for a mistake you made.
- The best reason to say "I love you"? You just can't keep him to yourself anymore and you absolutely want him to know your feelings.
- Saying "I love you" can change the relationship. Make sure you're ready.
Step 4. Be prepared for the possibility of not getting the answer you want
As much as you feel ready to say "I love you", it's possible your boyfriend isn't. This doesn't mean that he doesn't care about you or that he will never love you. It simply means that for now he does not feel what you do. Think about how you would react if he didn't tell you he loves you.
- If they don't reciprocate, you may feel rejected or start having doubts about the relationship.
- If you think that not being reciprocated has the power to devastate you, maybe it's best not to tell them.
Method 2 of 3: Talk to Your Man
Step 1. Choose the right time
He should be relaxed, calm and in a good mood. Talk to him in a private place, where you can have a conversation without interruption, without anyone intruding or eavesdropping.
- Do not declare yourself after an intense physical or psychological experience (for example, before or after sex), as it may tell you that he loves you driven by adrenaline or the strong emotions of the moment.
- Another thing: don't tell him if either of you is drunk or sleepy. He may not remember what you told him.
- If you talk about future couple plans or your current feelings, take the opportunity to tell him that you love him.
Step 2. State yourself as naturally as possible
Look him in the eye and say "I love you". You don't have to be melodramatic or acting weird, speak from the heart.
- You should definitely choose the most suitable context to tell them, but try not to think about it too much. For example, if you are alone and enjoying yourself, tell him. Trust your instincts to decide when to declare yourself.
- Don't tell him, "You are the love of my life." This will inevitably lead to confrontations between you and his past relationships. Maybe he loves you, but you don't necessarily consider yourself the love of his life at this stage. By saying such a sentence, it will be more difficult to get the answer you want.
Step 3. Give it space
When you declare yourself, make it clear that he does not have to answer you if he does not feel what you do. At the time of the statement, he must not feel pressured.
- You might say, "I love you. If you're not ready to say it or if you don't feel what I do, I understand. I just wanted you to know."
- Remember that love is not born for everyone at the same time. While he doesn't tell you he loves you now, that doesn't mean he doesn't want to be with you.
- If he doesn't feel the same for now, being patient is the best way to allow him to cultivate his feelings.
- If he doesn't say, "I love you too," you can take the opportunity to ask him what he thinks about the future of the relationship.
Method 3 of 3: Choose the Right Method
Step 1. Find out which displays of affection he prefers
If you love him, you've probably already shared feelings and other personal information with him. In what context did you manage to express certain emotions to him? Was it by phone or by text? Did it happen on a romantic date? When you talk, do you prefer to have informal and natural conversations?
- There is no right or wrong way to tell him you love him.
- If you use a method he is particularly receptive to, it will be harder to scare him.
Step 2. Write him a letter or note
If talking to him in person makes you upset, you may want to declare yourself with a note or letter. This will give him time to digest what you have told him and reflect on his feelings. If you feel nervous about telling him or worry about closing up in the middle of the conversation, writing him a letter will be more effective.
- If you don't know what to say, a note will be for you. You can also choose a nice one: you will communicate your feelings, but you will do it with a touch of lightness.
- You may even find a poem or song that expresses your emotions and rewrite it by hand.
Step 3. Talk to him in person
Coming face to face is the most romantic way, but also the most nerve-wracking. Speaking of your true feelings puts you in a vulnerable position. By showing him your true self and your true feelings, he may even feel even more attracted to you.
- If you go this route, practice saying "I love you" out loud in front of the mirror.
- You could also shoot a video to express your feelings. He'll ensure you tell him everything you want without getting too nervous. If you make a mistake, you can always make another video.
Step 4. Show him your love concretely
Love is not just an immaterial feeling, so what you say should coincide with what you do. Before you even declare yourself, your actions should already convey love.
- Make a nice gesture, such as making him his favorite dish or surprise him with two tickets to go to a movie that interests him.
- Try to be there in good times and bad times. It's easy to support each other in happy times, but you can truly show your love when he's down in the dumps. If he has had a bad day at work or has family problems, try to be his rock and show him that you are always by his side.
- Encourage her passions and dreams. From the desire to do a master's degree to his great love for mountaineering, cheer him on. Interested in his hobbies and goals, offer him ideas and opinions.
Advice
- Usually men are the first to say "I love you", but there is nothing wrong with the woman who takes the first step.
- Whether you get the answer you want or not, it will do you good to declare yourself and you will feel relieved.
