How to calm down when you are angry (with pictures)

2024 Author: Samantha Chapman | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 09:13

Are you subject to moments of anger? Have you ever cursed, kicked something and yelled obscene phrases, scaring those around you? Do you suddenly feel your blood boiling when you're stuck in traffic, get some bad news, or just hear something you don't want to hear? If so, you need to find a way to manage your anger before it gets the better of your life. Coping with chronic anger can be very difficult, so you will need to learn strategies to calm down in times of anger and change the way you react in the long run.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Calm down in the Moment of Anger

Step 1. Take a walk

Getting away from the situation helps you calm down and think more rationally. Better yet, get out there and focus on nature. Going for a walk will help you eliminate the accumulated negative energy and help you distract yourself from the problem. If you are in the middle of a heated discussion, there is nothing wrong with saying "I'm going for a ride".

Remember that most situations don't require an immediate response. You can often walk out of the room or building and give yourself time to calm down before answering someone

Step 2. Check your first impulse

If you are prone to anger, your first impulse is probably not positive. You probably kick your car, punch the wall, or badly insult a friend. Instead, ask yourself if there is anything positive you can do and try to stop your anger. Take a minute to figure out what is best to do and what might help you relax.

Your first impulse could be violent, destructive, and completely irrational. Don't make things worse by giving in to instinct

Step 3. Dance

You may think that when you get angry the last thing you want to do is dance, but that's exactly why you should do it. If you feel trapped in your anger, play your favorite song and start dancing and singing. This distracts you from toxic impulses thanks to external stimuli.

If this method works for you, you can choose the right songs to vent and overcome these moments of anger

Step 4. Do a deep breathing exercise

Sit straight in a chair. Inhale deeply through the nose, counting to 6. Then breathe slowly, counting to 8 or 9. Pause and repeat 10 times.

Try to focus only on your breathing, clearing your mind of what was bothering you

Step 5. Count backwards from 50

Counting out loud or quietly could calm you down very quickly, in less than a minute. Try to relax your body when you do this and only worry about the numbers. By focusing on this simple and concrete task, you will manage not to be overwhelmed by the moment, so you can face the problem with a clearer mind.

If you are still angry, repeat the exercise or count back to 100

Step 6. Meditate

Meditation can help you control emotions. So, if you find yourself losing control, give yourself a mental vacation thanks to meditation. Get away from the situation that has caused you anger: go outside, go to the stairs or even to the bathroom.

• Take slow, deep breaths. Maintaining this breathing will cause your heart rate to slow down. The breaths should be deep enough for the belly to expand.
• Visualize a white and golden light filling your body as you inhale and relax your mind. As you exhale, visualize brown or dark colors moving away from the body.
• Get into the habit of meditating every morning, even when you are not feeling anger, you will feel calmer overall.

Step 7. Visualize a peaceful scene

Close your eyes and imagine your favorite place in the world, be it the beach where you went on vacation as a child or the beautiful lake you remember as a teenager. It could also be a place you've never seen: a forest, a field of flowers, or a beautiful landscape. Choose an environment that immediately makes you feel calmer and your breathing will quickly return to normal.

Focus on every little detail. The more details you recognize, the more you calm down, removing negative thoughts

Step 8. Listen to relaxing music

Letting go of your favorite notes can help. Music has been proven to shake emotions and bring old memories back to life. It can calm people who are angry or upset, even if they are unaware of the source of their upset. Classical and jazz music are particularly useful for calming people down, but you will need to find the songs that work best for you.

Step 9. Focus on positive thoughts

You can reduce anger by trying to focus more clearly on positive thoughts. Close your eyes, eliminate any negative thoughts and focus on at least three positive thoughts.

• You can think positively by focusing on the best side of the situation you are worrying about or even just on thoughts that make you happy.

• Here are some examples of positive thoughts:

  • It will pass.
  • I'm strong enough to do it.
  • Difficult situations are opportunities to grow.
  • I will not feel anger forever, it is a temporary feeling.

  Part 2 of 3: Changing Your Perspective

  

  Step 1. Use cognitive restructuring

  It means changing the way you think. By focusing only on the negative things that make you angry you will end up believing irrational things, such as that everything in your life is negative. Cognitive restructuring encourages you to use positive and rational thoughts, to have a more positive view of what is going on in your life.

  • For example, you might think "everything that happens to me is bad". However, if you rationally analyze the things that happen to you, you may realize that it is a mix of positive and negative events: you could puncture a tire, find a euro on the ground, have problems at work and receive a surprise gift from a friend in a single day. This is an example of negative and positive episodes, so if you pay more attention to the positive ones in the group you may have a better outlook on life.
  • Another example of how you can change negative thoughts into positive ones is to go from "It always happens and I can't take it anymore!" a "It has happened very often and I have successfully overcome it in the past; I will make it again".

  

  Step 2. Keep an anger journal

  Write down the details of your angry feelings. Whenever you happen to lose control of your emotions, write down what happened. Make sure you write down exactly how you felt, what made you angry, who was with you, how you reacted and how you felt afterwards.

  After some time, you should start looking for commonalities between events, to identify the people, places, or things that trigger your anger

  

  Step 3. Resolve the problems that make you angry

  In addition to learning to calm down when you get angry, try to understand your anger by identifying triggers and working to limit your reactions. Many people, after identifying what triggers their anger and after understanding why they get so angry, manage to reduce their emotional reactions.

  

  Step 4. Practice positive communication

  You may get much more angry, saying what is on your mind at the moment. This could make the other person angry and make the situation seem worse than it really is. When something is bothering you, take a moment to think about the source of your anger, then explain how you feel.

  One form of positive communication is known as an assertive expression of anger. Instead of expressing yourself passively (feeling angry without saying anything) or aggressively (exploding out of proportion to what happened), try assertive communication. To practice assertive expression, use the facts that happened (objectively described) to communicate your demands (and not demands) to others in a respectful way. Communicate clearly and express your feelings effectively so that everyone's needs are met

  

  Step 5. Know when to ask for help

  Many people can cope with anger problems at home. However, you may need to address anger issues with the help of a professional if any of the following are true:

  • Insignificant things make you very angry.
  • When you feel anger, you exhibit aggressive behaviors, such as yelling, screaming, or engaging in violence.
  • The problem is chronic; happens all the time.

  

  Step 6. Participate in an anger control program

  Anger management programs have proven to be very successful. The most effective programs help you understand anger, develop short-term coping strategies, and improve your ability to control emotions. You have many options to choose from, including finding the right program for you.

  • Individual programs may be available in your area for people of your age, who are in the same job or in the same life situation.
  • To find an anger management group, do an internet search, or ask your local ASL.
  • You can also ask your psychologist or doctor for information.

  

  Step 7. Find an appropriate therapist

  The best way to learn to stay calm is to identify and treat the root of your anger problem. A psychologist can teach you relaxation techniques to use in situations where you feel angry. It can also help you develop emotional skills to cope with anger and train you to communicate better. A psychoanalyst who specializes in solving past problems (such as child abuse) can also help you mitigate anger related to past events.

  You can search the internet for psychologists and psychiatrists who specialize in anger control

  Part 3 of 3: Living a Calmer Life

  

  Step 1. Create a positive environment for yourself

  Surround yourself with happy things. Whether it's scented candles, plants, or photographs of friends and family, surround yourself with things that make you happy. Keeping your office and home tidy, clean and sunny can make you feel more positive and less stressed in everyday life.

  The less clutter, the easier it becomes to perform your duties. You'll rarely get angry if you can easily find everything you need

  

  Step 2. Find time to do the things you love

  Part of the anger you feel may come from the thought that you never have time for yourself and are always forced to do things you don't want to do. So if you love to paint, read or run, take the time to do your favorite activities every day or every week. You will be less angry, because you will spend more time where you want to be.

  If you find that there is nothing that excites you or makes you happy, you should find an activity that makes you feel at peace

  

  Step 3. Remember to eat balanced meals

  Many people have a tendency to get more angry when they are hungry. Avoid this feeling by remembering to eat healthy meals with proteins, fruits and vegetables. This will help you avoid hunger and sugar drops. Make sure you start the day with a healthy breakfast, which will help you prepare for the rest of the day.

  

  Step 4. Get 7-8 hours of sleep a night

  You need a lot of sleep to thrive physically and mentally. Deprivation of sleep can contribute to many health problems, including the inability to manage emotions properly. Getting enough sleep, on the other hand, can help you stay calm in stressful situations.

  If you have trouble sleeping, talk to a doctor about diet or lifestyle changes that can improve your sleep. You may also want to try some medications that can help you

  

  Step 5. Laugh as much as possible

  It can be difficult to do this, especially when you are really angry. It has been proven that laughing and smiling can cheer us up even when we feel angry, in fact, laughter can change the chemical processes that take place in the body and make you feel anger. Spending more time laughing each day can make you take yourself less seriously and makes it easier to find the comic side in a bad situation.

  Read funny jokes or, when you feel better, go out with friends who make you laugh. Or watch a funny video

  Advice

  • Read a book. Reading can help you calm down quickly, especially if you need to be careful to understand the content.
  • Try taking a nap. It will serve to relieve anger and take your mind off the problems.