The intensity of the pain one feels when discovering a betrayal is indisputable. Nonetheless, if you have reasons to suspect it, it is time to find out if your fears are well founded. The more you put it off, the more devastating it would be if you actually learn that your husband is unfaithful. If you want to know the truth, you will have to pay close attention to what he says, how he behaves and what has changed. This article will tell you how.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Pay Attention to What It Does
Step 1. Pay attention to changes in the sexual sphere
There are two things that can be signs of betrayal. The most obvious is the less arousal. Seeing another woman, her desire for you may be affected. Clearly it's not a test, but if your sex life has always been fulfilling and isn't anymore, it's a sign that something is wrong.
- Another change to watch out for is, on the contrary, a sudden and insatiable sexual desire. It could mean that something new, maybe another woman, is elevating her arousal.
- Notice what he likes to do in bed. Has it become much more creative? Has it always been a habit while now it has spicier and more innovative desires? He may have learned new techniques from another woman.
- He may also have suddenly become shy about nudity and doesn't like you to see him shirtless. If he wants to have sex in the dark, he may feel embarrassed to indulge in two women.
Step 2. Beware of excessive concern
If your man is showering you with kindness it could be due to guilt for being unfaithful to you. If he has always been cold, uncommunicative, or even rarely demonstrative, while now he is always saying sweet words to you, perhaps he is trying to compensate for his shortcomings due to betrayal.
- But even then, remember that he may be sweeter because he is going through a phase in his life where he sees things differently. Kindness is not proof of infidelity.
- If she suddenly brings you flowers, she writes sweet words to you, maybe she's just trying to rekindle your love. Or try to compensate for the betrayal.
Step 3. Another clue is the sudden effort to be helpful
If your husband normally does very little around the house, while now washing dishes, shopping, cooking, there may be something hidden. It would certainly be an attempt to compensate for something, perhaps for being unfaithful to you.
Again, it could be simply an outburst of kindness, with no secret aims tied to a betrayal. However, if he changes his habits so radically, be on the alert
Step 4. Watch out for a sudden change of mood
If your man is normally in a bad mood while he's radiant and sunny now, or he's usually pretty stable while he's now having sudden mood swings, chances are something is going on. If she sometimes has a goofy smile while staring at a blank spot, this good mood may not be related to you at all.
- Also beware of any sudden fury in him and appear particularly angry. If, for example, he blames this anger on causes that never altered him (work, for example), it could be a sign of infidelity.
- If you notice that her mood changes after receiving a "ring" or reading a text message, another woman may be the reason for her rush.
Step 5. Be careful if you use your phone differently
If he left it unattended on the table for hours, or if he was the kind of person who goes out and forgets him at home, but now he doesn't part with it even for a moment, something is wrong. If you see him panicking if he can't find his phone and never checks his text messages in your presence, you have reason to be alert.
- If he suddenly puts a password on his phone, even though he never cared about privacy, be careful.
- If he goes out to answer a phone call and comes back in angry, excited, or repentant, you should start wondering who he was on the phone with.
- If you walk into the room while she is talking on the phone and suddenly cut off the call, it is plausible that she was talking to another woman.
- If he has always answered the phone while you can now call for hours without him answering you, he may be intimate with another woman.
- If he unplugs his phone for hours, and that's not his habit, that's not a good sign.
Step 6. Pay attention to his behavior on the computer
If she has never spent a lot of time online, but now she does, the reason may be another woman. And if he stays up late at the computer, even after you've gone to bed, or if he suddenly turns it off if you get closer, you should start to worry.
- Watch him while he is at the computer. If his face suddenly lights up, as if he's in the throes of lightning, it could mean he's cheating on you.
- If he doesn't use the computer while you're in the room, he might not want you to see the screen.
Step 7. Pay attention to excuses
If you and your husband spent a lot of free time together and now it doesn't happen for suspicious reasons, maybe he spends time with another woman. If he often has "hangouts with men", if he stays in the office late, has suddenly become passionate about a new sport and spends much of his free time in the gym, this could be an excuse for having more hours to spend with his lover.
Of course, he may actually have gotten into a new sport or have a particularly busy work period, but if it's new and accompanied by other suspicious behaviors, he could betray you
Step 8. Pay attention to what he says
There are many signs of infidelity. Here are some things to look out for:
- If he gave you a lot of compliments, which he no longer gives you, maybe he is thinking of someone else.
- On the other hand, if he did not make compliments before and now he fills you with attention, maybe he tries to compensate for his infidelity.
- If she simply looks different to you, uses words she didn't use before, laughs in a new way, or her sentences have an unexpected tone, she may have learned these attitudes from another woman.
Method 2 of 3: Pay Attention to Appearance
Step 1. Notice the care she gives to her appearance
If he has never shaved regularly, if he was not particularly careful about his haircut, and now he is always clean-shaven, combed and looks in the mirror frequently, he might do it to please a woman.
If you shower more often, especially as soon as you get back into the house, it may be to wash off your lover's smell or perfume
Step 2. Pay attention to the care he takes for his body
If you have never worried much about her physical appearance as she now goes to the gym every day, runs, does weight lifting, she may want to get fit for another woman.
- Undoubtedly you must also consider other factors: maybe he is going through a crisis linked to the passing of the years or simply his body could interest him more than in the past.
- Always with respect to the body, pay attention to the diet that follows. If she's started checking her diet to lose a few pounds, she might be doing it to please someone else.
Step 3. Check that its smell hasn't changed
This is a very important signal: a state of arousal changes the chemistry of the body. If, on the other hand, he smells of some feminine perfume that you don't use, it is almost certain that he has the lover.
Step 4. Pay attention to your posture
Body language reveals a lot and even if he tells you one thing, his posture may indicate another. Here are some important signs:
- Pay attention to the amount of eye contact he makes with you. If he used to talk to you looking you in the eye but doesn't anymore, it could be a symptom of guilt.
- Watch out for displays of affection. If he used to kiss you, hug you, hold you and touch you and now he doesn't do it anymore, something is wrong.
- Watch his posture as you speak. If he crosses his arms, his body is not facing you, perhaps he tries to escape from you because he feels uncomfortable.
- If he shows affection to you in private but not in public, he may be afraid that his lover will see you.
Method 3 of 3: Find Out If He Cheats On You
Step 1. Search through his things
Looking through your husband's things is a quick way to find out the truth. If you're pretty sure he's cheating on you and you want hard proof, you can try looking in a few places listed below:
- His phone. If he's shrewd, you won't find evidence, but if he's not, you might see communications with an unknown woman. It also looks for calls and sms to private numbers, it could have concealed the origin.
- Look on his computer. To find out if he is cheating on you, check his emails and messages on Facebook. You can wait for him to leave the computer by leaving his mail account open. If he has started deleting received emails, this could also indicate that he is hiding something from you.
- Search through his things. Look in his desk drawer, in his purse and even in his trouser pockets.
- Check bank transactions. See if he spent money at any restaurant he didn't take you to, check the dates and associate it with what he said. If, in theory, he should have been at work, you have good reason to worry.
Step 2. Follow it
If you're afraid to ask him if he's cheating on you or haven't found enough evidence, you may want to try following him to find out where he "really" goes. This is also a way to lose the trust he has in you, so follow some useful guidelines:
- Don't follow him with your car. Borrow a friend's to avoid being noticed.
- Keep a safe distance. Whether you're on foot or by car, don't stay too close to him, or he'll catch you.
- Check him out when he doesn't expect it. If he says he's going to be working late or watching the game at a friend's house, catch up with him unexpectedly to find out if that's the truth. But make a good excuse to join him suddenly.
Step 3. Ask him if he is cheating on you
After you have had enough demonstrations of infidelity, it will be time to tell him about it. The conversation can be difficult and painful, but there's no need to postpone it if what you want is to know the truth. Here are some tips on how to ask him if he is cheating on you:
- Ask him when he least expects it. Do this privately and don't tell him you want to give him a speech, or he might figure out what you have in mind and make an apology.
- Tell him you want the truth. Let him know that he is not doing you a favor by being dishonest.
- Let him know that he is making you suffer. Explain how much pain the idea of his betrayal causes you.
