Today, thanks to technology, it has never been easier to communicate with someone and hide their activities. To control your partner's social interactions, you will necessarily need to monitor her, paying attention to her actions, her behavior and spying on her online communications. You may be accessing the internet from a computer, tablet or mobile device, which can complicate your investigation. However, remember that it is always better to talk openly with your partner than to spy on her.
Steps
Method 1 of 6: Observe Your Partner's Behavior
Step 1. Note different attitudes
If your wife is cheating on you, she may behave differently in many ways, such as being physically distant or disinterested in sex; being fairly distant; being hostile, critical or particularly acrid; or being completely absent. Pay close attention to the following clues, which may suggest that your partner is trying to hide something: close the internet browser page as soon as you enter her room; expects privacy when using the computer; spends a lot of time online after you go to sleep; opens other email accounts.
Step 2. Try to find out if your partner isn't doing something else
If he's acting distant or strange, it doesn't necessarily mean he's cheating on you; it can be occupied by work or family problems. It can also conduct other malicious activities on the internet, such as drug dealing or gambling. These are serious problems that can profoundly affect a relationship and must be resolved with the help of a professional or loved ones.
Step 3. Write a journal, describing your partner's activities
As much as possible, take note of their movements, internet activities, travel, overtime commitments with work, ATM withdrawals, phone calls, emails, and so on. This will help you consider all the details and unmask possible "deceptions".
Step 4. Prepare for the truth
Design an action plan to implement if you find your partner is cheating on you. Knowing this information can ruin your personal relationships - not just with your partner, but also with your family, children and friends. It can also have a big financial impact. Clarify your principles regarding infidelity and decide what your limit is. What level of physical contact do you mean when you talk about betrayal?
- Find a person to talk to. Choose a trusted friend or family member to let off steam with. If possible, argue with someone who cannot be misunderstood as your romantic partner, otherwise you risk making the situation worse by creating ambiguity.
- Create a support network of family and friends who can help you overcome the situation. In cases of betrayal, family and friends often find themselves in a difficult position. Who should they give their loyalty to? Try to figure out who the people are who are willing to support you regardless of everything.
- Consult a divorce lawyer. You probably need professional help if you are married or have some assets and finances in common with your partner.
- Talk to a psychologist. If your suspicions are true, you may find yourself facing life-changing decisions. Also, such a situation is very traumatic from an emotional point of view and a professional can help you overcome it. Ask your closest friends to recommend a psychologist who is right for you. You may have to come across more than one before you find the right one.
Method 2 of 6: Check Your Partner's Online Activities
Step 1. Check your partner's browsing history
This will help you discover the websites that you frequent most often. Each browser has the History feature. If she was really worried that you might find out, she could clear her history and prevent you from verifying her online activities.
Step 2. Check their email
If you have access to your partner's email address, you can read her messages. Alternatively, you can try to log into his account using the browser's password saving feature. Before taking action, learn about your state's electronic privacy laws, as each country interprets them differently.
Enable cookies on your partner's computer. If you have not saved the login credentials to your e-mail address on your browser, it is possible that cookies are disabled. Open your web browser settings to activate them and have the ability to recover usernames and passwords. The computer will then be ready to save the information for your partner's next internet session
Step 3. Try communicating with your partner over the internet using an alias
If you think she goes to some chat rooms or discussion forums, you can join those conversations with an alias as well. Talking and flirting with her could lead you to uncover important clues or even allow you to catch her red-handed.
Some people have created bogus Facebook accounts to spy on their partners, but you should be careful with this approach, as it can greatly damage your relationship and the trust your partner places in you
Step 4. Install a keylogger on your partner's computer
These programs are capable of recording all key presses in a system. You can use them to monitor your PC usage, by yourself or others. They are also able to reveal the login credentials and passwords of many sites to you, allowing you to check your partner's emails. There are keyloggers of many different qualities; some are available for free, such as Free Keylogger Pro, while others are paid, such as All in One Keylogger, The Best Keylogger or Total Spy, which cost from € 30 to € 80 or more.
Step 5. Use a surveillance program on your partner's computer or cell phone
There are many applications of varying reliability, effectiveness and different prices, which you can purchase and install on mobile and non-mobile devices. Some examples, such as WebWatcher, Stealth Genie, or Spector Pro, can record all activity on the device, as well as its location (in the case of a mobile phone). Many programs have the functionality of social network control, e-mail logging, chat logging and others; they can vary in price, starting from 85 €.
Make sure you are fully aware of your state's laws regarding electronic surveillance and privacy before engaging in this type of business
Method 3 of 6: Check Your Partner's Activities on Your Mobile Phone
Step 1. Find out who the unknown phone numbers belong to
If you see a number on your partner's phone that you don't recognize, you can perform a reverse phone lookup. You can also follow this advice to track down unknown email addresses.
Step 2. Read your partner's messages
If you have discovered suspicious messages on her cell phone, she may be cheating on you. Study your message history to understand how long these communications have been going on. But remember that it's easy to delete text messages from a phone and make this investigation vain.
Step 3. Install a GPS tracking program on your partner's phone
Today we have many technologies available to track the physical location of a mobile phone thanks to GPS. You can track your partner's whereabouts and pinpoint her exact location whenever she takes her phone with her. Compare his movements with his explanations. If you notice any differences, you may have discovered a lie.
Step 4. Use surveillance technologies that activate a remote microphone on your partner's phone
Some programs and devices can activate the partner's phone's microphone, allowing you to hear and record whatever is captured. The phone will record all conversations and sounds close enough to be heard.
Step 5. Try to find out if your partner uses more than one SIM card
Different SIMs contain different information, including contacts in the address book, and can allow a person to continue using the same phone with two different numbers without attracting attention.
Step 6. Check your partner's browsing history
If he has a smartphone, he probably uses it to go online. This will help you discover the websites that you frequent most often. Each browser has the History feature. If she was really worried that you might find out, she could clear her history and prevent you from verifying her online activities.
Method 4 of 6: Do Internet Research on People You Don't Know
Step 1. Find out who the unknown email addresses belong to
If your partner received an email from someone you don't know, you can track her down with a reverse email search. You can also follow this advice to find out who the unknown phone numbers belong to.
Step 2. Search for a name on a search engine to find out information about that person
If you suspect that your partner is cheating on you with someone in particular or if you have found suspicious communications with a certain person, you will often be able to find more information about her by searching on the internet. This advice is also useful for understanding the interests of the potential lover, his job, his family and financial situation.
Step 3. Pay to get an online check on a person
If you can't find the information you are looking for with a simple internet search, you can pay for a more thorough investigation. Often the prices of these services are not very high, from € 10 to € 40. Some companies are more reputable than others, so do your research to check what their reputation is.
Method 5 of 6: Hire a Private Investigator
Step 1. Find out if you need to hire a private investigator
Some people would be better off enlisting the help of a professional to get the information they want about their partner. Do not take the initiative if: you are emotionally insecure; you are jealous by nature; you are paranoid; you have too much of an imagination; you have a tendency to react badly to difficult situations.
Step 2. Hire a professional to monitor online activities and follow your partner in person
Make sure the person you have chosen is properly licensed and operating under the law. If you need evidence to take to court, it needs to be admissible and therefore that the investigator does his job within the limits of the law. This is particularly important if evidence has been collected through online surveillance; e-privacy laws are often complex and a private investigator should know them better than you. A professional also has an unbiased perspective on your situation and can help you make the best decisions for your future.
Step 3. Prepare to pay the private investigator's fee
Such a professional is not cheap and can charge between € 70 and € 200 per hour. Make it clear how much time he can devote to your case right away. You also decide how to pay for the service. Do you want me to remain a secret? It is not easy to keep it that way if the price is high and your bank account is shared with your partner.
Step 4. Reduce expenses by investigating yourself
Collect information about your partner's online activities, for example by checking their browsing history or emails. Give the investigator the basics of the case and background information about your partner so that he or she has to spend less time on her investigative work.
Method 6 of 6: Confront Your Partner
Step 1. Talk to your partner to see if she is cheating on you
One of the most direct ways to tell if someone is cheating on you is to ask them openly. However, not everyone will be sincere and some people may continue to lie. Spying on your partner can help create hostility between you and can weaken the trust you have in each other.
Step 2. Choose the right time to speak
Try to find an occasion where both of you are available and have time to have a long conversation. You may want to catch your partner in the act, but this is often not the most productive solution.
Step 3. Don't ask aggressive or accusatory questions
If you approach the discussion seriously but calmly, your partner's responses will be more honest than if you attack her by pretending to know where she has been or with whom.
Step 4. Suggest that your partner speak with a marriage counselor together
Get a professional for advice from a trusted friend or do an internet search. Not all specialists will be right for you and it may take multiple visits to find the right one. Be patient during this process, especially if your partner has admitted to cheating on you. If your priority is to recover your relationship, you will need to be open to forgiveness and compromise.
Warnings
- Logging into your email account and reading communications from a partner are potentially illegal actions, depending on the nature of your business and the laws of your state. Make sure you are fully familiar with the laws regarding electronic surveillance and eavesdropping (listening to a person's private conversations) before taking these actions. Each court provides a different interpretation of a spouse's "reasonable expectation of privacy", so some jurisdictions are more restrictive than others.
- If you spy on your partner, you risk losing her esteem, especially if you find nothing strange.
- Be careful when downloading surveillance programs to your partner's computer or yours. Many of these applications contain viruses and can damage your computer's hard drive.
