If you suspect your boyfriend is cheating on you, your relationship is probably in a precarious balance. However, you may not want to accuse him until you have concrete evidence to prove his clandestine relationship. Here are several methods you can use to gather evidence and find out if your hunch is right.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Observe Changes in Your Behavior
Step 1. See if she cares more than usual about her physical appearance
Have you started exercising more, dressing better, spending more time in the bathroom getting ready or using a new musky scent? Trying to improve yourself through fitness and personal care is definitely a healthy lifestyle choice, but consider if you're focusing on her physical appearance for another girl.
Step 2. See if your sleep patterns or daily habits have started to change
If your boyfriend usually goes to bed around nine, but suddenly starts hanging out until dawn or sneaks out of the house in the middle of the night, this is where cat hatches.
Similarly, if you typically have a set routine - go to the gym in the morning or come home from the office at 5pm - but now sleep late or stay at work until the evening, these changes to your daily schedule could let you know that he spends his time elsewhere, perhaps in the company of another woman
Step 3. Ask yourself if he seems more distracted or distant
He is generally a very attentive and caring partner, he asks you how your day was and likes to have long conversations with you at dinner time. For some time now, however, you have noticed a sudden change: he seems far from interested in your life or bored by the long dialogue between the couple. This could be a wake-up call. His attentions or interests are focused elsewhere, certainly not on you.
- It may also diminish her interest in household activities, such as spending time with children, doing housekeeping chores, mowing the lawn, etc.
- He may also spend more time texting or texting to the computer, in private chat rooms, or on social networks. If you see him always glued to his cell phone or PC, or he becomes particularly reserved when using them, this could be a wake-up call.
Step 4. Look for any changes or quirks in the intimacy
Perhaps there has been a decline in the frequency of sexual intercourse, or you have noticed a strange and sudden increase in activity under the sheets, with new preferences or tastes that you have not shared in the past.
- You may start wondering where he learned a certain position, or what caused him to develop a certain preference in bed. One possible reason is that she is trying new moves with another one.
- He may also have less sex drive, or dismiss your advances into intimacy with excuses like "I'm tired" or "Maybe another time."
Step 5. See if she gets defensive or gets angry at you more easily and frequently
If he seems to be fighting more than usual, gets mad at you over little things that generally wouldn't bother him, or gets defensive when you ask him about his night out with friends, these could be signs of betrayal.
If his behavior stops being normal and changes, implying some anger towards you, this could be a reflection of his guilt for cheating on you. You may even be afraid you will find out about his clandestine affair
Step 6. Pay attention to how he behaves after an argument
Does he leave, search for his own space and then come back to you to apologize? Or does he not care at all to apologize and show no repentance for the painful words he addressed to you? He was generally good at forgiving and forgetting an argument, but now you notice that he has changed, and that could be a wake-up call.
It's important to remember that your boyfriend's inner turmoil has nothing to do with you, and is a reflection of his own anxieties and fears. Try not to take personally the anger he seems to have towards you. Don't put pressure on yourself to try to forgive yourself or help him feel better. In fact, he is likely to behave like this because he is actually feeling guilty about the clandestine relationship
Step 7. Write down any suspicious changes in your boyfriend's behavior
This will help you gather evidence of the betrayal and determine times, dates, excuses, and other elements used to lie to you about the clandestine relationship.
A cheating partner tends to change the stories they tell, question their girlfriend's memory, or deny her allegations, so keeping a record of her activities is key
Step 8. Read this article
It will help you hone the right skills to determine if your boyfriend is lying to you. Most people are very bad at lying, so if you use the right technique to expose their lies, you may be able to get them to confess their clandestine relationship.
Keep one thing in mind: Once he knows you suspect his behavior, he may become much more circumspect so as not to be caught red-handed. If so, you need to be more careful and try harder than ever to gather evidence of the betrayal
Step 9. Consider talking to him about your suspicions
If you have noticed any quirks or changes in his behavior, it is entirely possible that he is treating you this way for other reasons. In fact, he may not be cheating on you, perhaps he is facing inner conflicts such as depression, pain, severe anxiety and so on. Talking to him about your suspicions instead of resorting to drastic measures like snooping around or invading his privacy will show that you care about the relationship and want to make it work.
Method 2 of 3: Rummage through His Things
Step 1. Observe his activities on his cell phone
Find out if he's been making long phone calls at odd times or getting messages from other girls. He may also have new phone habits. In fact, you may have noticed that he needs privacy or space when he has to call someone, hangs up as soon as you walk into the room, or shuts you down when you ask him who he was talking to.
- If you can get a list of his phone calls (by looking at the cell phone itself or online), you will be able to know every single call made in a certain month, which will give you the opportunity to find out if he has had long conversations at strange times or has made many phone calls. to a number you don't recognize.
- You can also try reading his messages and listening to voicemail messages, but this method takes more time and you could be caught red-handed. A good time to check his phone is when he takes a shower or leaves it on charge before going for a walk.
- If your boyfriend tends to lose his cell phone, another strategy you can try is to simply hide it and make him believe he has lost it. That way, you can browse through his phone calls and daily messages.
Step 2. See if he has changed any passwords on the computer
Or, maybe he moved it to a private area or room. Try to figure out if his PC activities have become stealthy or secret, see if he gets defensive and nervous when you use it or ask him to see what he is looking at on the screen.
- This could indicate that he is trying to restrict your access to his computer and hide something on the hard drive or in the browser history.
- She tries to have access to his computer when he is out and checks the hard drive for hidden folders with pictures of other girls or partners, as well as love letters. Read this article to learn how.
Step 3. Check his social network accounts and other such sites
You might want to check out email, Facebook, Instagram, and chat programs. Many times, cheating people use the internet to manage their clandestine relationships, especially if they fear that their partner will check their cell phones or monitor their phone calls.
- Some partners who cheat may use sites like tradisci.com or ilmioamante.it. Search your computer's browser history to see if it has visited web pages of this type.
- Some cheats may also create multiple Facebook profiles and then search for people online to message or meet to have a clandestine relationship. Then, see if he has bookmarked or looked at profiles or pages on Facebook multiple times.
- You can also search for your partner's hidden online profiles using a service like Spokeo or Rapleaf.
- These are websites that aim to expose liars and traitors by posting stories about men who have cheated. These tales serve as a warning to other women to open their eyes.
Step 4. Search your apartment or bedside table for love letters, gifts, and photos
Think about where he would hide his personal items or things he wouldn't want you to see.
- Look directly for any hard evidence of the betrayal to make sure you don't misinterpret a letter or object that might have sentimental, but not romantic, value to him. Just because he's kept a photo of his ex-girlfriend or his first love letter doesn't necessarily mean he's unfaithful.
- Before confronting him, it is important to have concrete evidence of the betrayal, so look for any letters, gifts or photographs intelligently.
Method 3 of 3: Observe Your Activities
Step 1. Place a video camera or recorder in a hidden spot in your room or car
You can get a small special device from a specialty store or online. Put it in an area where your boyfriend goes frequently or spends a lot of time, especially when talking on the phone or browsing online.
You can also download an app called Night Recorder to your mobile phone - it will record sounds in any room you leave it, including any sneaky phone calls or clandestine sex
Step 2. Download software to spy on activities on your computer
Keylogger programs that spy on PCs, such as SpyPal, can be found online and can be downloaded and installed on a computer, without the person in question knowing that they are operating stealthily.
These types of programs can record information such as passwords, emails typed, pages visited, or even film the screen while your boyfriend uses the PC
Step 3. Insert a GPS device into his car or follow in your boyfriend's footsteps using his phone
If you're going to catch your partner in the act, place a GPS device under his car and track his movements so you can catch him red-handed just as he's taking off his pants at a third-rate motel.
You can also use the Find My iPhone app to catch a cheating boyfriend red-handed. If you have access to your boyfriend's iCloud, you can log in to monitor his cell phone's movements in real time, just when he's in someone else's immediate vicinity
Step 4. Create a fake profile on a social network
Then you can use it to log into websites that promote couple cheating. You will know if your partner uses one in particular or attends one to arrange meetings.
You could also lure your boyfriend using a fake Facebook account. Request friendship, then you may start flirting with him over the course of a certain period and see how he responds to you. If he starts sending you photos of him naked or asks if you would like to meet him in a hotel, he is clearly not loyal to you
Step 5. Plan the perfect opportunity to get him to cheat on you
This might be the fancier option, since it requires some planning and organization on your part, but it's another method of catching your boyfriend red-handed. Think of an excuse like a hair appointment or a meeting with a friend. Afterward, look across the street or from the car, keeping a safe distance, to see if your boyfriend takes advantage of your absence and takes the opportunity to meet someone else.
Keep in mind that this is the riskiest solution of all, because it involves the ability to convincingly lie to your partner and then monitor their movements until they make a mistake
Step 6. Consider hiring a private investigator
These professionals are licensed to engage in surveillance, and are well versed in the most useful and legal tactics for unmasking evidence of infidelity.
- If it's a long-term relationship or you want to get married and your finances are shared, it's a good idea to hire a private investigator.
- Look for an expert who specializes in investigations aimed at unmasking infidelity.
Advice
If you are not 100% sure that your partner is cheating on you, but you are suspicious and take the relationship seriously, it would be best to discuss possible infidelity with him. That way you don't have to snoop or rummage behind him, and you can try to have a mature conversation about trust and fidelity in an honest and open relationship
Warnings
- Avoid following your boyfriend everywhere, and don't check his phone or computer every day, as chances are you will be caught in the act while you spy. If he doesn't cheat on you, these actions could be counterproductive, as he will likely doubt your trust in him and may consider ending the relationship.
- Try not to get obsessed with looking for evidence of infidelity, since most betrayals are exposed accidentally, not with a confrontation or dramatic accusation.
