Whatever stage of the relationship you are in, there is always the possibility that your boyfriend will cheat on you. If you have valid reasons to suspect him or if you have any doubts, here's how to find out a possible betrayal.
Steps
Method 1 of 4: Observe its Appearance
Step 1. If she takes better care of her appearance now, perhaps she is trying to improve it for her
It's not irrefutable proof, but if he's never worried about appearances in the past and now spends more time in the bathroom than you do, there's something underneath.
- Before he left his beard unkempt, now he always shaves.
- She often cuts her hair, as she used to let it grow.
- Wear better clothes.
- He mirrors himself constantly.
- Even when he should be studying or working late.
- A different smell is a big red flag. Whether her body chemistry has changed slightly from being with another woman or that she is now always using perfume is indicative of the time he spends with her.
- You notice different hair than yours on his clothes.
Step 2. Pay attention to how he treats his body:
maybe he's not killing himself in the gym for you. Unless he's planning on taking part in a marathon, here's how to tell if there's another one:
- He always goes to the gym and is very attentive to his figure. It may also be that he met the other one during training and it is an excuse to meet her.
- He has drastically changed his diet and is now eating healthy.
- He has become strangely demure about his body, does not show himself shirtless in front of you and wants to have sex in the dark. Perhaps he feels disloyal to the other.
Step 3. Pay attention to your body language to understand how she really feels and if she's thinking about another:
- He doesn't look you in the eye when you talk, whereas before he always did. Now he can't because he feels guilty.
- He doesn't show you his affection and barely touches you.
- He is sweet in private but not in public. True, there are guys who don't appreciate showing affection when they're around. But if he wasn't like that before, maybe you should worry. Also, if he walks away from you, he may be afraid that the other will see you together.
Method 2 of 4: Notice what it does
Step 1. Your sex life has changed:
have less (or more) sex than before.
- If you never do, maybe she's with someone else.
- If he suddenly has a voracious sexual appetite and wants to do it all the time, he may have woken up too much from being with another girl. In any case, this is unlikely: if someone else satisfies him, why on earth would she sleep with you?
- Try a lot of new positions in bed. Maybe he learned them from another girl.
Step 2. He is much kinder to you
He probably feels guilty and helps you compensate.
- If he cleans the house, fixes his car, and goes shopping but has never lifted a finger in the past, there may be a suspicious reason.
- The same reasoning applies if it only asks you how it can be useful to you.
- Suddenly he becomes Mr. Romance and gives you flowers and chocolates, especially after being away for an extended time.
Step 3. He cleans everything meticulously, whereas before he didn't care about the state of his car or his house
Evidently he tries to make a good impression on the new girl or to get rid of her traces.
- If she has never cared for the cleanliness of the car and is now spotless, maybe she does it for you.
- If you call him and he tells you that he is cleaning his apartment, you suddenly appear at his house to see what happens.
- If she's using air freshener and car freshener, she may be trying to erase the other woman's scent.
Step 4. Watch for changes in her mood
- If he is sometimes in too good a mood for no apparent reason, he may be happy about something the other has said to him.
- If she seems in a good mood and then suddenly darkens, especially after a phone call or text, maybe the other girl has something to do with it.
Step 5. If he cheats on you, you can also deduce it from certain stealth behaviors:
- He's always on the phone, especially texting.
- Suddenly he's always on the internet: maybe he's chatting with the other girl. If it turns everything off when you walk into the room, that's a bad sign.
- It disappears for hours, for a whole evening or even for a weekend. If he doesn't find time to answer your calls or text you, maybe he's hanging out with the other woman.
- He turns off the phone for hours. Why else should he do it?
Method 3 of 4: Notice What It Says
Step 1. Analyze his apology
Before, you always saw each other, but now the excuses for not meeting are more and more numerous. At first you believed him when he said he had a stomachache or was too tired to go out, but now you wonder if he's actually dating someone else. Here's how to figure it out:
- Before, he devoted all his free time to you, now he always goes out with "his friends". He is especially suspicious if he doesn't have many friends or has never seemed very fond of them.
- Suddenly he often finds himself working late. It used to happen every now and then, and when he went out, he always found time to see you. Now he is very busy with a very important project.
- He is always too tired to go out, whereas this never happened before. It could mean that he focuses his energies on someone else.
- Before, you often went to lunch or dinner together, now he's never in the mood, he's not feeling well or he's not hungry.
- These signs alone are not an indication of betrayal. But if all of these things happen repeatedly, then he's probably spending a lot of time with another person or doesn't want to see you anymore. If she always finds excuses for not dating you, ask yourself if it's worth continuing the relationship.
Step 2. Evaluate the way he expresses himself
In addition to the apology, listen to his words, which may be different from what he said before, and observe his way of speaking, maybe he will seem like a totally different person to you. If this change happens suddenly, there is probably another woman in his thoughts. Here are some signs of betrayal:
- Stop complimenting you. If before he always made them to you and now you don't, maybe he'll save them for another one.
- If, on the other hand, he has never complimented you and now he is singing your praises, he may feel guilty. If he does this after a prolonged and unjustified absence, it is particularly suspicious.
- Speak differently. He says things never said before, uses unusual words or laughs differently. Maybe he was "infected" by another girl.
- He doesn't reply to your messages for hours in the middle of a conversation. Maybe, while she was talking to you, she came along.
Method 4 of 4: Investigate
Step 1. Ask him if he is cheating on you after noticing several signs
The easiest way to solve the problem is to talk about it. You can avoid rummaging through his things and feel hurt when you find irrefutable evidence, saving yourself pain and humiliation. Here's how to do it:
- Catch him off guard so he can't make up a lie.
- Tell him you expect honesty from him. Ask him to do you the favor of telling you the truth.
- Say "We'll both feel better after it's clear." Make him think he will feel relieved when he stops lying. Leading a double life is exhausting.
- Look him in the eye, be honest, show him that he is really hurting you.
- If you don't feel like doing it, ask a friend of his. He probably won't be proud of your boyfriend's behavior either.
Step 2. Follow him if you don't want to talk to him or don't think you have enough evidence
Don't get caught, or he'll lose faith in you.
- Follow him with your friend's car if he tells you he's going to go out with his friends, so he won't notice you.
- Meet him "by accident" or go to his house without warning, especially when he tells you he is not feeling well. Bring him some soup and show concern. Watch his reaction. Is he happy to see you or is he angry?
- To find out if he's working late, get him a coffee or snack at work, or go check if his car is there.
Step 3. Rummage through his things:
it may be the fastest way to find out what's going on. But remember that if he isn't doing anything wrong, you will also betray his trust, putting the relationship at risk.
- Check your cell phone. If he cheats on you, he'll do everything he can to keep you from seeing him. Take it when it sleeps.
- Check her computer, especially her emails and messages on Facebook. But it may also be that he has deleted everything or that he is using another account.
- Look for evidence on your desk or wallet.
- Check your statement. Don't you remember when he spent 200 euros for a romantic dinner? Maybe you weren't together that night.
Step 4. Consider contacting a private investigator
Sometimes you may not be absolutely sure or you may not have sufficient proof of the betrayal. In these situations, hiring a private investigator will help you find the truth, in one case or another.
