When 1-2-year-olds grow up, they begin to assert themselves and want to test the terrain for themselves. Many times, this wanting to test events leads them to simply say "no" to everything. The charm of this word starts from the fact that they begin to become aware of their individuality and that they have their own desires. Fortunately, this phase of rejection, sooner or later, passes. In the meantime, there are methods you can use when there is a refusal to do something, such as involving and guiding the child.
Steps
Method 1 of 2: Working on the "No"
Step 1. When you ask the child questions, give him alternatives
It will be difficult for him to answer "no" to questions that do not require the answer to be yes or no. Giving him the choice between two alternatives will make him feel in control of the situation, and he won't feel he has to resist. Eg:
You might ask, "Would you rather brush your teeth now or after playing for another two minutes?" With both answers he will brush his teeth. You could also make it more fun like this: "Do you want to bathe and smell clean right away or do you want to bathe later and smell like a pig?"
Step 2. If the child hesitates to give an answer, do the countdown
If you're asking him to make a choice, but he doesn't answer, as if to say "no", start counting down. Tell him that you will start counting to five and then he will have to tell you what he prefers, otherwise you will choose for him.
It's a technique that doesn't always work, but it's worth checking out
Step 3. Tell your child what you want instead of what you don't want
If you keep using the word "no," your child is more likely to persist in refusing to do what they are asked to do. When he hears "No, you can't eat candy", or "No, you can't run inside the house", it gives him the impression that saying no gives the person who says it more authority.. Instead, try to be positive by telling your child what you would like them to do.
- Instead of saying "Don't play in the sandpit, because you get dirty!", Try "I really wish you were here with me, until I'm done, so you don't get that nice shirt dirty!".
- Check your tone of voice. If it's not an emergency, stay calm and keep a firm tone of voice.
Step 4. Try to get yourself answered in different ways
Try to broaden the answers your child can give you, so that he understands that there may be many other ways to answer besides "no". When he is happy or calm, teach him words like "maybe", "probably", "maybe". Let them understand the meaning of these words and how to use them. You will thus give alternatives that will be able to suspend the unstoppable "no".
Step 5. Give reasons for your requests
Even at the age of 1-2 it is possible to reason with the child. If you provide incisive and quick-to-understand motivations to your requests, they will be more inclined to listen to you. For instance:
If you tell him "Don't eat candy before you go to sleep, please. Or you might get stomach ache at night" instead of "Don't eat candy right now! You know you have to go to sleep!", It will be easier. that the child reacts positively to the first sentence
Step 6. Try to relax
Aside from the fact that this is a phase that will eventually disappear, you have a few tricks up your sleeve that you can use to play even money. Finding a solution to the conflicts that arise when a child says no all the time can be complicated and tiring. But it is a natural phase of its growth, so it tries to deal with this waste directly but with a relaxed approach.
If you are too demanding in response to his refusal to do something, you may make him feel helpless or even more reluctant, and may cause him to become even more rebellious. Instead, try to relax and select which occasions are best not to overlook
Method 2 of 2: Treat your Child like an Adult
Step 1. Use imitation to your advantage
Children tend to emulate the adults around them. During your child's rejection phase, you can use this behavior to your advantage. Instead of insisting on asking him to do a task he doesn't want to do, do it in front of him. To make it stand out, while doing this, you can also comment with a phrase like: "It's a grown-up task." Eg:
If he doesn't want to wear a jacket even though it's freezing outside, show him you're wearing a jacket because you don't want to catch a cold and then get sick
Step 2. Make the child believe that you need their help
If you let him know that you don't know how to do something and that you need his help, he will be more likely to do the task you would like him to do. You can do this in three different ways: you can be distracted, you can make it look like you are wrong or that you are not capable.
- Be distracted. For example, if your child refuses to tidy up his toys while he's watching you, you can take some yourself and put them in odd places, like in the washing machine drum, cupboard, or under a pillow. The child will likely scold you for forgetting where they should be placed, and take some of his toys to put them away in the right place.
- Behave badly. For example, the next time you anticipate a conflict over the meal, start eating her food from her plate, and use her cutlery. Most likely you will hear him say "It's mine!", And then he will want to finish the rest of the food so it doesn't go into the wrong stomach.
- Show yourself incapable. For example, put your shoes on the wrong foot, and make sure the baby is watching you. Try saying something like "I'm ready to go to school! What about you?". When the child sees you doing something wrong, he will most likely laugh and correct you. He will then show you how you should have done, wearing his shoes correctly.
Step 3. Try to delay tantrums by keeping up with the game
Many tantrums are caused by hunger, fatigue, or frustration. To avoid these feelings, set reasonable expectations when it comes to your baby. Setting goals helps him get a clear picture of how the day will unfold, instead of letting him imagine that, after a certain activity, there will be time for an ice cream or another treat. Eg:
Before you go shopping, set expectations. As long as he is still in a good state of mind, tell him that you are only going to buy milk, cereals, fruit and other things for mum or dad. Then ask him what he would like for himself (but only allow two alternatives) and explain what you will both do at the store before you go home. Just before reaching the store, remind him what you will buy and what you will get for him, based on the choice he made earlier
Step 4. Reward good conduct with affection
Rewarding children can be difficult because they learn quickly; if they behave in a certain way and are rewarded with sweets, they will believe that, when they act the same way, they will always get sweets. Instead, reward good behavior with hugs, kisses, or cuddles - "things" that are always readily available.
Step 5. Try to use reverse psychology
It is a strategy by which you lead the child to believe that you do not want him to do something, which, instead, you would like him to do. It's a method that works when it seems like there are no other options available and you're sick of being told no. Eg:
