When someone tells you you're ugly, you may start wondering if that's true. However, what matters is what you think of yourself, regardless of the considerations of others. If a person has no qualms about judging your appearance, try to respond calmly, without getting angry. Learn to accept yourself and fuel your self-esteem. Appreciate your inner beauty by not focusing solely on your appearance. However, if you can't feel comfortable with yourself, don't hesitate to ask a friend, an adult, or a therapist for help.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Responding to an Unpleasant Comment
Step 1. Control anger
If judgments about appearance strike a nerve, you may feel offended or upset when someone tells you that you are ugly. Don't get stressed out immediately, but learn to manage your emotions with maturity. Try to keep your emotions in check before answering. If you are about to lose patience, take a deep breath. Slowly extend each breath so that the air is introduced and expelled more calmly and gradually.
- Breathe with your diaphragm, not from your chest.
- Try to count. For example, inhale and exhale for four seconds.
Step 2. Ignore what they tell you
If you remain indifferent to the insult you receive, you show that you are in control of the situation. When someone can hurt you with words, they gain power over you. So, don't put yourself in a position to favor it. Ignore his comments and do not react on the wave of emotion. Your character is worth more than your appearance when you have to learn to stand up for yourself.
- Ignoring insults is easier said than done and may take some training.
- Repeat to yourself: "This person's words and opinions must not change what I think about myself."
Step 3. Get respected
Don't let anyone step on you. If you decide to defend yourself, do it firmly. Emphasize mean and despicable comments that don't reflect your persona.
- For example, you might say, "I don't know why you call me ugly. What you think about my appearance doesn't change who I really am."
- You can also reply, "You don't have to judge what's beautiful. I know I'm beautiful because I'm a nice and kind person."
Step 4. Dull the offensive nature of the insult
Maybe someone told you that you are ugly because you have a big nose, curly hair or big feet. These characteristics are not inherently bad. Maybe some people don't find them pleasant. It's not a problem. Remind yourself that in front of you you have a person who is judging you and that you must not take them in a negative way.
- For example, you might say, "Yes, I have a big nose. A sharp remark from you!"
- You can also reply: "Appearance isn't everything. Of course, I have hairy arms."
Step 5. Use humor
Humor can help ease the tension in any situation. However, don't use it to respond to an insult. Humor is a great way to show that the other person's words don't hurt you.
Overdo it by adding more. For example, you might say, "I think I'm ugly too. I might even turn into a swan one of these days!"
Part 2 of 3: Accepting and Nurturing Self-Confidence
Step 1. Value your opinions more
Ultimately, the way you see yourself is more important than the opinion of others. Everyone has their own opinions, but yours are worth more. Learn to prioritize how you see yourself over how others see you.
If someone insults you about your appearance, remember that what you think matters more than their judgment and that nothing can make you feel ugly
Step 2. Notice the beauty, not the flaws
Many people judge themselves critically. If on the one hand you can list all your imperfections or aspects that you don't like, on the other hand try to identify your strengths. Look in the mirror and instead of focusing on what you don't like, recognize all the beautiful outer sides. Maybe you like the eye color, skin tone, lips, hands, or any other part of the body!
- Make a list of your favorite areas of the body and read it when you're down in the dumps.
- You can also include all the activities you are able to do, such as: "I love my athletic body because it allows me to dance sinuously".
Step 3. Accept yourself for who you are
Nobody can define what is beautiful or normal. As they say, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" and this also applies to attraction. If you feel bad because you don't like yourself or because of the negative judgments of others, learn to accept yourself. Be indulgent with yourself. Recognize your imperfections and try to accept them kindly.
- For example, think: "I am not a perfect person, internally or externally. But I know how to accept myself despite my flaws."
- If a person finds you unattractive, what's the problem? It doesn't mean that everyone sees you that way. Accept yourself as you are and remember that you cannot please anyone.
Step 4. Use positive affirmations
If insults undermine your self-esteem, it's time for a change. Learn to talk to yourself in a way that stimulates and feeds positive thoughts. Think about the present and try to repeat encouraging phrases every day. You may not believe it at first, but keep going and see how you feel.
- For example, you could say (or write): "I am beautiful" or "My worth is beyond appearance".
- Put your sentences on the bathroom mirror so you can read them every morning. You can use post-its, highlighters and markers of the colors of your choice!
Step 5. Be confident in everything you do
If you have low self-confidence or don't know how to nurture it, act as if you do. For example, ask yourself, "What would a self-confident person do in this situation? How would they react?" Start seeing yourself as a determined and strong-willed person, even if you don't think you are. When others see you acting this way, they are less likely to make fun of or insult you.
- As an English aphorism goes, "Fake it 'til you make it". Pretty soon you will find that you will find it less and less difficult to trust yourself.
- For example, if someone laughs as you walk by, keep walking with your head held high and show confidence.
Step 6. Commit to whatever makes you feel good
If you fall into despair after someone insulted you, find something to help you accept yourself. While you can't immediately change your appearance, you can focus your attention on the things that make you feel happy, calm, relaxed, or comfortable. This will help you manage your stress and feel better.
- For example, take a walk, take a bath, write in your journal, or listen to some music.
- Engage in stimulating activities, such as sports, martial arts, music, or cooking.
Step 7. Take care of your body
Don't neglect yourself. For example, take care of your personal hygiene by changing your clothes (including panties and socks), showering regularly, brushing your teeth and applying deodorant. Try to take care of yourself to feel more confident, for example by fixing your hair in the morning before you leave the house, wearing clean clothes that reflect your style and adopting a look that you like.
- Choose a style that reflects your personality. Choose clothing that suits you, is comfortable and makes you feel good about yourself.
- There is a difference between those who tell you that "you are ugly" and those who tell you that "you do not care". Take responsibility for your image and the things you can change.
Part 3 of 3: Asking for Help
Step 1. Talk to an adult
If you need moral support or someone to confide in, an adult can help you out. It could be a teacher, one of your parents, a coach, or a spiritual guide. Choose someone who can listen to you or give you some advice on how to deal with the attacks you receive. It may also help you take action or confront someone who insults you.
An adult is able to give you advice based on his experiences because he remembers when he was your age. You will be surprised to see how sensitive and helpful he can be
Step 2. Surround yourself with true friends
If your "friends" make fun of or offend you, at this point you have to ask yourself who you are dealing with. A true friend supports and cares for you, does not demoralize you or make fun of you. Make friends with those who make you feel good. After all, you'll never be happy if you hang out with people who put on airs and treat you badly.
- Look for the company of people who love you, respect you and don't put you down, even if they're not "cool".
- Surround yourself with friends who see you for who you are and not because you look good. They should help you improve and appreciate who you are, not just look at yourself.
Step 3. Go to therapy
If you are being bullied, have a hard time accepting yourself, or have self-esteem issues, a therapist can be helpful. It will teach you how to manage your feelings and fuel your self-esteem, but it will also help you find a way to get better about yourself if you suffer from anxiety or depression due to insults and bullying.
You can find a mental health professional by going to a specialized center (or by asking your parents to contact them). You can also ask your doctor or a friend for advice
Advice
- Always consider who the insults are coming from. If this is a person used to bullying or being rude to others, don't waste your time and energy. Nothing he says can be constructive or help you improve your self-image.
- If the negative judgments come only from your thoughts, you probably have low self-esteem. Seek the support of someone you trust to start improving your attitude towards yourself.
