Calling someone "just to have a chat" is a lot harder than it sounds if you're shy. Making calls is important for cultivating a normal social life and for cultivating strong relationships. Here are some steps that can help you make that phone call to that girl you met on your chemistry class you want to be friends with or that guy you really like.
Steps
Step 1. Play some background music, which will help you stay relaxed during the phone call, and give the impression that you are enjoying yourself
Don't play music that is too loud, annoying, or disturbing; choose quiet music. Look for quiet pop music, or possibly R&B; avoid music with a too strong rhythm.
Step 2. Prepare a list of topics to introduce to fill in the dead time
You will realize its usefulness when those moments of awkward silence arise that inevitably arise during conversations between new friends. (For example, "Didn't you find the Spanish test difficult?" Or "I saw your performance in the school play. Have you been singing for a long time?")
Step 3. If you can, find a reason to call
It might be weird if you're calling for the sole purpose of talking about this and that. (For example, "I'm calling to thank you for inviting me to your party", or "Could you give me homework?" Or even "Have you seen the latest Supernatural episode?")
Step 4. Take a moment to close your eyes and imagine yourself having a brilliant conversation with this person
Think about why he might be happy to talk to you.
Step 5. Take a few deep breaths
Inhale through your nose as you count to seven, hold your breath for a count of four, and exhale for a count of eight. Repeat this three times.
Step 6. Dial the number
Be sure to dial it slowly and concentrate.
Step 7. When the person responds, you can say something, something, like, "Hi, I am (say your name)
How's it going?”This gives them a chance to tell you it's not the right time.
Step 8. Indicate why you are calling
It can help to start the conversation. (For example, "Thank you for inviting me to your party. What did they give you?" Or "Did you see what Summer did in the latest episode of O. C.?")
Step 9. Talk about any topic that the person is interested in, and bring it forward
Ask any questions that come to your mind. (For example, "Thank you for inviting me to your party. What gifts did you get? Who gave it to you? Which one did you like most? Were you expecting something else? I have one of those …")
Step 10. Pull out the topics you wrote in the list
A little preparation can give excellent results …
Step 11. If you run out of arguments, it may be enough to give the person a compliment and / or ask the person about them
People love to talk about themselves, and this is undoubtedly a great way to start the conversation. (For example, "You play football well. Do you also play outside of school? How long have you been playing? Do you enjoy watching football on TV? Which team do you support? What role do you play? Do you play any other sports? Is it difficult? play football? Do you train a lot? ") You could also tell something about yourself, but don't go too far.
Step 12. Try to relax
Enjoy the conversation instead of focusing on what you need to say next. With a little practice, it will come naturally to you.
Step 13. If the person has to leave, or if you have to leave, or you have simply finished the conversation, say hello and remind the person that they can call you whenever they want
Hang up the phone.
Step 14. Think back to the conversation for a moment
What topics aroused your interest? What did you find out about this person? How long did the conversation last? How did you feel? Think about what might make it easier for you to call this person back.
Step 15. Plan your next phone call, immediately starting to think about a new list of back-up topics
Advice
- Closing the conversation: Often it is less embarrassing and more polite to say hello with a phrase like "I'll let you go", or "I'd better get back to studying."
- Topic List: While the idea of making a list of topics to talk about may seem a bit cheesy, it can really come in handy if the very thought of phoning that person makes you nervous, or if you are shy. You may not need it in the end, but it can really come in handy in the downtime of conversation.
- Ask to Talk to Your Friend: If someone else answers the phone, you can just say your name and politely ask if you can talk to the person you were looking for. Thank you when they agree to pass it to you.
- Say thank you, and say it was a pleasure to talk to her! She will feel appreciated and desired.
- Make sure you can hear right! Make sure your phone's volume is loud enough so that you can hear everything it says.
- Get Call Back: Before you finish the conversation, or when you meet the person during the day, remind them to call you sometime. This makes you feel less pressured! Make sure you leave your phone on or keep the line free.
- It is much easier to talk to someone on the phone if a good, trusted friend is in the room with you, and this will make you more comfortable; if this happens, you will always feel comfortable talking to that person later on.
- Leave a message: if the person is not at home, or the phone is not turned on, etc., it may surprise you that you have to answer an answering machine. Don't panic. You can plan ahead and write down what you need to say. Include greetings, your name, the date and time you called, the reason for the call, and how they can get back to you.
- Think about the person you are calling: what are the interests you have in common? Talking about a topic that the person is not interested in will usually cause the person to lose interest in the conversation.
Warnings
- Bad time: If the person is busy, talking to someone else, or if it's just a bad time, they may ask you to call back. Do not be offended. Don't take it personally. That's probably the case, and he's not trying to avoid you.
- Nervousness: Take a few deep breaths. Sometimes the best way to ease your nervousness is to try to block your fears and dial the number!
- Several unsuccessful phone calls: If you've made several unsuccessful calls to the person, think back to them for a second. Why do you want to deepen your relationships with this person? If you have absolutely nothing to talk about, he may not be the right friend or friend for you. On the other hand, personal experience has taught me that sometimes it takes a little more effort to make a successful phone call, or a different approach is required. Choose the tactic time by time and evaluate the results.
- Duration: be careful! Guys especially don't like to talk for hours (usually). Try not to hold back too long. (On the other hand, if it's obvious that he has something on his mind or really wants to keep talking, take advantage of it!) Just take that into account …
- Single unsuccessful phone call: A phone call can be said to have failed if there were more than two pauses, the conversation topics were uninspiring, or one of the two seemed bored. If the call was unsuccessful, try sweeping it away. Be better prepared for the next phone call, but don't stop talking or phoning this person! It may be difficult, but it will get easier over time.
- If you have never met this person, you can dial * 67 # before your number so that it does not appear on the phone of the person you are calling.
