People are complicated - they don't come with an instruction manual, and they're more insidious than a new Windows operating system. You never know what to expect! If you have a hard time talking to people, whether they are friends or strangers, wikiHow has your back. Start with step 1 to have happy and peaceful interactions.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Remove Obstacles
Step 1. Identify your hesitation
Why aren't you interacting with people now? Do you do it but do you have the impression that you are doing it the wrong way? If you can identify the problem, it will take a long time to overcome it. In the meantime, try one of the tips listed below.
Step 2. Overcome your social anxiety For many people, interacting with others is stressful
If you worry when you have to talk to people, then you have to focus on dealing with your anxiety, first of all.
Step 3. Believe in yourself
If you are afraid that you will not be able to make friends, or that you will always make people angry, you will have a hard time interacting with others. Try to have more confidence in yourself and you will see that social interactions will become easier and easier.
Step 4. Build your self-esteem
If you spend a lot of time thinking that no one will want to talk to you because everyone is better than you, you will miss out on a wonderful world of interactions! Take some time to realize how awesome you are and you will see the world in a different light.
Step 5. Believe in yourself
Lack of self-confidence makes it really difficult to interact with others, often because people feel that you are unsure and this makes them nervous. Work on your self-esteem or at least learn to pretend in order to please others more.
Step 6. Practice
As with any skill (and social interaction is definitely a skill), you will improve with practice. Train your social skills by using them as much as possible. You can start by interacting with your family, or even with strangers you meet, such as the butcher or the bank employee.
Part 2 of 4: Starting the Interactions
Step 1. Introduce yourself
When interacting with someone for the first time, it's a good idea to introduce yourself. When in the conversation you show up, however, depends on the individual conversation.
- Approaching a stranger and introducing yourself without saying anything first may suggest that you are selling something (or that you are a weirdo).
- Introducing yourself when you first meet someone at a party, however, is a good idea. Especially if it is a formal occasion, such as a company party.
Step 2. Talk to strangers
If you don't interact much with people but would like to start, you will probably need to talk to strangers. It's not as bad as it looks! Find an excuse to strike up a conversation and let things take their course. Who knows: you might meet a new friend!
Step 3. Make friends
The best people to interact with are friends and having lots of them can only improve your life. For those who are shy or not very sociable, making friends can seem really difficult. But with a little perseverance and patience, you can make a lot of friends. Just remember to be yourself and to include only those friends in your life that make you a better person!
Step 4. Treat your friends well
Treat happy friends well. This will make many interactions easier. Help people who are having a hard time talking to them. Listen to them when they tell you about their day. In short, you understand.
Step 5. Talk to your friends
Even when you feel like you have nothing to say, you should try to strike up a conversation. Embarrassed silences could make your friends worry or make them nervous… even make them feel ignored!
Step 6. Make your conversations interesting
Make sure you have good conversations. Ask questions, listen, and actively participate in the conversation. Don't monopolize the conversation and don't stay too aloof. Conversations are a team game!
Part 3 of 4: Creating the Opportunity
Step 1. Leverage your peers
Whether you are a student or an adult, you should have someone around you to interact with - your peers. Your classmates or workmates are perfect for interacting.
Step 2. Join an online community
Especially for those people with a lot of social anxiety, online communities can be a fabulous place to practice social interactions. You can find a fan group of a TV series you like or your favorite book, or you can collaborate with sites like wikiHow!
Step 3. Join a local group
There are groups or associations in real life. They are also better for honing your social interactions. You can search for them online or maybe ask in your city library.
Step 4. Volunteering
Volunteering is a perfect way to meet new people and also improve your community. From soup kitchens to fundraising, to building animal shelters to civil service, there are tons of ways to help your community plus you'll have the chance to meet people who share your values!
Step 5. Join a religious group
Whether it's a church, a temple or a religious congregation, these places are a safe place to meet people and interact, making friends with people with similar interests and values. There are groups for every belief system, so give it a try.
Step 6. Be more sociable with friends you already have
If you don't like what we have proposed to you, you can always be more sociable with your current friends. Have a small party or start a book club. Whatever amuses you and your friends!
Part 4 of 4: Interacting Well
Step 1. Be kind
Be kind when you talk to others. Acknowledge them and be positive in your interactions. Don't lie and don't talk behind their backs. Basically, treat others as you would like to be treated.
Step 2. Be polite
Be polite when talking to others. It is essential to be polite to everyone. All time. Even if I'm not with you. Remember to say "please" and "thank you" and get them to finish speaking before you speak. You have to be patient. Just as you struggle to interact with people, those in front of you may also struggle (or have other problems, such as a disability or mental illness). Act so that your grandmother is proud of you and you should be okay.
Step 3. Be humble
When you talk to people, be humble. Don't brag and don't spend too much time talking about yourself. That way people won't like you and they won't want to talk to you anymore. Give everyone a chance to talk and try not to take advantage of what you are told.
Step 4. Be friendly
Be friendly when talking to others. You don't have to seem disinterested or indifferent. Maintain eye contact, smile, listen, and communicate positivity (even if you're in a bad mood).
Step 5. Be respectful
Be respectful with everyone you interact with. Give them a chance to talk, don't say anything offensive, respect their differences, and as a rule treat them as you would like to be treated.
Step 6. Listen
The most important thing about interacting well with others is listening. It's not about how many things you say or how you say them, but how you react to the things you hear. Practice these basic listening skills, and you'll be the master of social interactions in no time!
Advice
- "What I tell you three times is true." You can't fake an emotion three times without making it real. Smile at people even if it's a bad day. It will feel forced the first two times, but then you will find that you really feel better. On the other hand, you cannot fake anger or sadness without feeling angry or sad. So stay away from fake negativity; the understanding or intimidation you might get from us is not worth much.
- Humans are naturally empathic. We perceive emotions through posture and words. Anyone around you can affect your mood and you affect theirs. Try to get into the habit of smiling, walking with energy instead of dragging yourself with your head down, and enjoy what surrounds you. Even if you've seen it a thousand times, there is always something that could surprise you and put you in a good mood if you look closely.
Warnings
- Do not overdo it. Small positive interactions when people are receptive are fine. Trying to force strangers into a conversation out of nowhere does not, and creates nervousness and discomfort. Borders are instinctive; do not exceed them.
- Always be prepared to leave a good impression. Interaction done in good faith can also be misunderstood.
