Having trouble getting along with most people? Are you prone to offend others or argue even when you're just ordering a coffee or greeting your co-workers? Or are you just trying to get along with people to make your life a little easier? Whatever your reason for wanting to harmonize with others, all you need to do is show people how much you care and respect their feelings.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Making a Good Impression
Step 1. Smile
Smiling is never too much. Even if you feel that it is a gesture that has no influence on what people think of you, by taking the time to smile at others, you will show that you are happy to be with them and that you are a warm and nice person who is worthwhile. speak. Whether you are talking or just walking with someone, try smiling next time. Plus, scientific research has shown that smiling actually makes you feel happier, so everyone will win!
Make an effort to smile at at least 10 people today. Once you get used to it, it will become perfectly natural
Step 2. Be fully present
If you make it clear that you are engaged in conversation and would rather not be anywhere else, then you will win people over. Don't check your phone every five minutes, don't look around the room, don't play with your nails, don't talk about the meeting you have to attend later, or else it will seem like you can't wait to leave when you talk to others. Instead, take the time to make eye contact, ask questions, and give the impression that you appreciate others' company.
- It can be difficult to put aside all distractions and learn to live in the present. Sometimes, the first step is to disconnect. If you are talking to a co-worker, move away from the computer. If you have a dinner date with a close friend, turn off your phone for a few hours.
- Give your interlocutor all the attention it deserves. Take the time to interpret his body language and facial expressions to understand how he feels, instead of being interested in everything other people in the room are doing.
Step 3. Cultivate Optimism
Another easy way to please people is to have a positive attitude. If you can convey positive energy instead of complaining, teasing people or being a mediocre person, then people will be more attracted to you, because they will feel energized by being in contact with you. Try to focus on the good things in life and learn to laugh at trouble. If you want to get along with people, then this goal will be much easier if you live life with a smile instead of a frown.
- Whenever you catch yourself making a negative comment, make two or three positive ones to balance the situation. There's nothing wrong with being pessimistic every now and then, but you should focus on the good things rather than the ones that demoralize you.
- Another way to keep things positive is to try complimenting people more often. This will give a more positive tone to the conversation and receive some compliments in return.
- Another way to cultivate optimism is to surround yourself with positive people. Their mindset and behavior will be contagious and will help you to harmonize with others. Bringing a fun, positive friend with you can also help you get along with people.
Step 4. Get to know the people standing in front of you
If you want to make a good impression on others, then you will need to learn to quickly analyze your interlocutor to understand what kind of person you are dealing with. If you see that you have a right-thinking person in front of you, the topics of discussion can be very different from those addressed with those who attend a social center. Try to evaluate the person you are talking to before starting an argument that could become controversial. If you intend to get along with others, then it is important to know what people want and don't want to hear so that you can make a positive impression at first.
- Observe how your interlocutor reacts in relation to others to get a better idea of how to leverage him. If the person bursts out laughing at another person's salacious jokes, you will know what kind of humor they prefer.
- Also take into account the other person's age. Perhaps an older person will not appreciate a comment that unpleasantly marks the age difference if you are ten years younger than them. Instead, a younger person probably won't understand your cultural orientations.
- The level of education can also affect all of this. If you talk to someone who has a PhD in English Literature, they may feel provoked when you try to explain Ernest Hemingway.
Step 5. Have light conversations
Another skill possessed by those who can make a good initial impression is the art of having light conversations. While you may think it's frivolous, having a chat can be a great forerunner for deeper discussions and connecting with people, so it's important to know how to talk to people the first time you meet them. All that is needed is to ask quiet questions to get to know them a little more, to be able to chat jokingly and to feel comfortable in front of the people you have recently met. Here are some tips for having a light and effective conversation at the same time:
- Compliment the look or accessory worn. This topic could lead you to have an interesting conversation.
- Don't be wary of talking about the weather, as it could lead you to have a conversation about weekend projects or even your hobbies.
- Ask questions that require more than one answer rather than a simple "yes" or "no". This way you will have the opportunity to open a conversation.
- Don't push too hard when there is an awkward silence. Instead of making comments, ask a simple question or try saying something to get the conversation going.
Step 6. Show genuine interest in others
One of the easiest ways to make a good impression is to show real interest in people as soon as you shake hands. There's no need to bombard them with questions, just show interest in the ideas, hobbies, or experiences they share, without being too intrusive. Truly, people like it when you show interest in them, and the best way to get in tune with them is to get to know them instead of talking about yourself.
- The best way to show genuine interest is to really listen, instead of acting affectedly until it's your turn to speak.
- When a person gives you good news, be sure to show real interest in their words instead of ignoring them and moving on to something else.
- If a person is an expert on something, ask them questions about it to show that you are interested in what they have to say.
Part 2 of 3: Knowing How to Maintain a Conversation
Step 1. Let your qualities speak for themselves
To get along with people in conversation, you should avoid flaunting your successes at work, tennis, or writing novels. If you are really good at something, people will realize it for themselves over time or will hear about it from someone else. If you monopolize the conversation by doing nothing but talking about your talent, then it will be difficult to get along with people because they will probably consider you arrogant, get bored or even annoyed.
- You can talk about your interests without insisting on the skills and abilities you possess. There is no need to mention all the awards and titles you have earned and risk underestimating others.
- Instead, try to praise other people's qualities. It is much more interesting to them.
Step 2. Think before you speak
The key to the art of good conversation is to consider the words before they come out of your mouth. If you are a person who talks without thinking or who even says everything that comes into his head, then it is time to stop and evaluate the extent to which your words are likely to affect the people around you, so as to avoid offend them. This is a good solution, because by doing this you will be able to realize if you are saying something embarrassing or even boring to your interlocutors.
If you know there is a rather sensitive subject at stake, take a few seconds to formulate a question in mind. It is much better to act like this than to mumble about something you may regret
Step 3. Don't monopolize conversations
A good interlocutor never dominates a conversation. In fact, he knows how to get others to talk and put them at ease. If you want to get along with people, you can't constantly talk about yourself. Indeed, you should converse just enough to be interesting and convincing, without overpowering especially during a face-to-face dialogue, so that the other person does not get bored or feel neglected.
- If you find yourself in a group conversation, then you can tell a funny anecdote or two, but make sure other people join in the conversation. Allow others to talk when they have something to say and don't interrupt them just to prove they were wrong.
- Even if someone says something unlikely, you shouldn't give in to the temptation to point out every little thing they say. Acting in this way will not be in your favor and it will definitely not help you to harmonize with people.
Step 4. Avoid arguments that can lead to disagreement
Another way to get along with people is to avoid topics that can provoke people, such as abortion, gay rights, political views in general, and controversial views about marriage or children. Once you get to know who is in front of you better, you will be able to discuss more serious topics, but when you are initially trying to get along with your interlocutors, you should resort to more pleasant topics, such as yours. weekend plans, your hobbies or your favorite bands.
When someone else brings up a sensitive topic, you can connect with people if you tactfully change direction and come up with a less problematic topic
Step 5. Use tact
Using tact and delicacy is key when it comes to getting along in a conversation. Being tactful means choosing words and timing carefully. If you want to give someone personal advice, for example, you should do it when you are alone so that the other person doesn't risk feeling embarrassed. The same is true when you point out to someone that they have something in their teeth. You should avoid making inappropriate comments, such as "Marriage is the most important thing in life" in front of someone who has just been divorced, and you should always question how others feel before speaking.
- Another way to avoid hurting others' sensibilities is to avoid giving too much personal information to people you don't know very well. Even if you do it to become familiar with those in front of you, in reality you risk that they will move away from you.
- Those who are sensitive also recognize cultural differences with their interlocutor. By doing this, you will be able to tell if your comments are welcome.
Step 6. Find a meeting point
Another great way to get along with people is to find common ground by which to approach others. During a conversation, stay with your ears pricked for some hints that could detect a sharing of interests. If, for example, you discover that you and your interlocutor come from the same city, it may be that you are fans of the same sports teams. While you don't need to have a lot in common with whoever you're talking to, just find a meeting point or two, whether it's your passion for a reality show or your fondness for homemade desserts.
If you find at least one commonality, you will be able to build an entire relationship, despite the fact that you will disagree with almost everything else. Never underestimate the importance of something that can connect you to others
Part 3 of 3: Being Respectful of Others' Feelings
Step 1. Choose your battles
Another way to get along with people is not to give in easily to quarrels and conflicts. It may seem like every little provocation is worth going through, but most of the time, in reality, it will be better to keep your mouth shut. Whether you're talking to a colleague or someone you've recently met, there's no reason to start a controversy by talking about politics, sports, or how to split the bill equally. While it's important to stand up for your views, it's equally important to know when it's best to hold your tongue.
- Before starting to argue, ask yourself if it's really worth it and what you'll be earning if you can prove you're right. Sometimes it is important to stand up for one's own opinions, but at others it is preferable to find an agreement with others.
- In some discussions you may win, but it will be much cheaper to agree with others than to start a controversy.
Step 2. Give people the benefit of the doubt
People who have a hard time getting along with others tend to think that others are stupid until proven otherwise. Those who get along with most people tend to see the best in others and have a high opinion of those who don't know enough. You should assume that every new person you meet is a kind and reasonable individual, unless they make a truly horrible impression on you. Give people time to show you who they are and it will be much easier for you to get along with them.
- Give others at least two or three chances to convince you. Not everyone manages to make a good first impression.
- If one person has told you something negative about another person, you should give them a second chance before deleting them from your friendships.
Step 3. Apologize if you made a mistake
To be truly respectful of other people's feelings, you need to recognize when you've made a mess and be ready to make amends. If you intend to get along with others, you will need to sincerely apologize for your mistakes, whether it's an insulting comment or a half-hour delay at a dinner. You will prove that you are a sensitive person who does not intend to hide their mistakes under the rug. Others will be able to get along with you much easier if they know you accept your flaws.
- When you apologize, look people in the eye to show that you mean it. Don't look away or check your phone, or they'll think you take your mistakes lightly.
- One key to getting along with others is to avoid repeating mistakes. It is one thing to apologize and quite another to keep your word.
Step 4. Put yourself in the other person's shoes
One of the most important ways to be respectful of others and get along with people is to put yourself in their shoes before arguing with them. Try to reflect on how the other person may think, feel, and adjust to what you say. Although it is impossible to know exactly what is going on in another person's mind, making some effort to imagine it can help you get along with others, because in this way you will be committed to facilitating the conversation for your interlocutor.
- For example, if a co-worker has just suffered a death in the family, you should treat him with due care and avoid talking about things that are too sad.
- If a friend is getting married in two weeks, this is not the time to take all your emotional problems onto her, as she will likely be mortified.
Step 5. Take your time to thank people
Showing gratitude is one of the best ways to be respectful of how others feel. Take the time to tell people that you are grateful for what they have done for you, whether that is communicating it to your boss with a thank you card or giving a friend some flowers because she helped clean your apartment. It is important to be grateful if you want to get along with people. If you don't give Caesar what is Caesar's, then it will be difficult for others to get along with you, because they will think you are too arrogant to say thank you.
Don't underestimate the power of a thank you letter or card. While it may seem outdated to you, it can really show the person receiving it how much it means to you
Step 6. Remember the important details
One way to show people that you really care is to remember the important details they share when they talk to you. If you remember a person's name after meeting them for a few minutes, they will be more inclined to like you. If you remember the names of her siblings, then she'll be even more impressed and much more likely to give you the benefit of the doubt. Pay attention to what others tell you so that you can show your interest in them by reporting what they said later.
- If you are someone who quickly forgets everything they are told, then it is likely that people will get nervous or angry with you.
- If you really care, you can also write down some important details that a recently known person told you so that you can remember them next time.
- Try to remember birthdays and anniversaries as well. It is a way to get along with others, because it will show how much you care about them.
Step 7. Make others feel good about themselves
Another way to get along with people is to make them feel good about themselves. Give sincere compliments on a new haircut or a sense of humor if you mean it and don't do it for flattery. Let a smile light up your face when a person arrives instead of looking vaguely pleased to see them. To show how much you value other people's opinions, ask people to give you advice based on their skills and experience.
- People get along well with those who make them feel good, while they tend not to find an agreement with those who depress them. It is a very simple thing.
- After all, it is much more important to be interested in others than to be interesting. Don't worry so much about impressing, but rather focus on giving people your attention.
