Manipulating others is a good way to get what you want - whether you want your boss to give you a raise or have your boyfriend take you to a romantic vacation spot. Whatever the reason, if you want to play your cards right, experiment with different manipulation techniques and learn how to act in different situations. If you want to learn how to manipulate others faster than it takes to shed fake tears, then follow these steps.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Hone Your Manipulatory Skills
Step 1. Take an acting class
The basis of manipulation is learning how to simulate emotions and make others believe that your false feelings are genuine. If you want to look more stressed out than you really are, or use a variety of other emotional techniques to get what you want, then an acting class is what you need to improve your persuasion power.
Don't tell others you're taking an acting class if you're just doing it to learn how to manipulate people. Otherwise they will be even more suspicious of your tactics
Step 2. Take a course to learn how to speak in public
While the acting class can help you govern your emotions and convince others that you will be very stressed if you don't get what you want, a speaking class can teach you to get people to give you what you want in a calm and rational way. Not only will you learn to organize and present your thoughts more constructively, but you will be taught techniques to make your needs even more real and compelling.
Step 3. When talking to someone, try to mimic their body language, voice pitch, and so on
The calm and persuasive method is perfect for getting boss or colleagues to do something. Being emotional may not work in a business setting
Step 4. Be charismatic
Charismatic people have a natural tendency to get what they want. If you want to manipulate people, then work on your charisma. You should be able to smile and light up a room, have body language that communicates readiness and make people want to talk to you, and be able to have a conversation with anyone from your nine-year-old cousin to your teacher. of history. Here are other ways to be charismatic:
- Make people feel special. Make eye contact when you talk to them, and ask questions about their feelings and interests. Show them that you care to get to know them better - even if you don't.
- He exudes confidence. Charismatic people love who they are and what they do. If you believe in yourself, then people will take you seriously and give you what you need.
- Express yourself with conviction when you say something, whether it's real or fictional. Speak nonchalantly while conversing with the person in question.
Step 5. Learn from the masters
If you have a friend, family member, or even an enemy who is a master manipulator, you should study this person and even take notes to understand how they always get what they want. This will give you a new perspective on how to manipulate people, even if you are the victim yourself.
If you really want to learn how to manipulate people, then you may also find that you have the skills to manipulate one of the people you are observing
Step 6. Learn to read people
Each person has a different emotional and psychological system and therefore can be manipulated for different reasons. Before planning your next attack, take the time to observe your victim to understand what triggers them and find the right approach to make them bend to your will. Here are some things you may discover as you read people:
- Many people are susceptible to emotional reactions. They are emotional themselves, cry during movies, love puppies and are very understanding and empathetic. To get what you want from them, you will have to play with their emotions until they feel guilty and give you what you want.
- Other people are susceptible to guilt. Some were raised in a home with very strict rules and were punished for every mistake and now they feel guilty for practically everything they do. With these people the answer is obvious: Make them feel guilty because they don't give you what you want until they give in.
- Some people are more receptive to the rational approach. If your friend has a logical mind, reads newspapers often, and always needs facts and evidence to make a decision, then you will need to use all your persuasive power to get what you want instead of using your emotions to manipulate it.
Part 2 of 3: Using Different Handling Techniques
Step 1. After an unreasonable request, make a more rational one
This is a proven technique for getting what you really want. Is simple. If you want to manipulate someone, first you have to make an absurd request, wait for them to say no, and then make a more reasonable one. It will sound more interesting to your victim compared to the first request.
For example, if you want your employee to arrive early the next day, try saying “Would you like to be the coordinator of the new project? You will only have to come to work two hours early for the next few months”. When your employee nods, he replies, “Perfect. Would you mind arriving early tomorrow morning to help me finish this report?”. He will be much more receptive after the first request
Step 2. Make an unusual request before the real one
Another way to ask someone to do something for you is to make an out-of-the-ordinary request that blows the person away to the point where they can't refuse. If you ask for the usual thing right away - money, a ride, help with homework - people will likely refuse to do so because their minds are conditioned to avoid those tasks.
For example, if you want to ask someone on the street to sign a petition, you might first ask them to help you lace up your shoe because your back is locked and you can't bend over. This will establish contact with the person in question and are unlikely to refuse to sign the petition when you ask
Step 3. Inspire fear, then relief
If you want to get what you want, you could make the victim fear the worst, then make them breathe a sigh of relief and make them happy enough to guarantee you what you want. It's a low blow, but it will give you results.
For example, you might say to a friend of yours, "You know, while driving your car I heard a terrible noise and I was convinced the engine was running. But then I realized it was the radio - funny isn't it?". Take a break and wait for your friend to recover before adding "By the way, would you lend me the car again next weekend?"
Step 4. Make the person feel guilty
Guilt is another excellent tactic for getting what you want if you are manipulating the right person. First, choose someone who is prone to guilt. Then make her feel guilty because she's a bad parent, friend, or boyfriend since she doesn't give you what you want, no matter how ridiculous it is.
- If you want one of your parents to feel guilty, make him believe that you are having a terrible childhood because he is not allowing you to experience.
- If you want to make a friend feel guilty, remind him of all the things you did for him, or when he let you down.
- If you want your boyfriend to feel guilty, just say "Okay, I expected it," implying that he always disappoints you.
Step 5. Use corruption
Corruption is another great way to get what you want. You don't have to blackmail someone using this technique to get to your goal. You can also bribe someone with a reward that isn't too interesting, or something you would do anyway. For example, you could ask a friend to help you study for the math test and offer them a ride in return, even if you've done so before and therefore won't try too hard.
- Try to understand what the other person wants and give it to him. If your friend has a crush on the new student, promise her you'll get her number if she does what you want.
- Don't let the other person know that you are trying to bribe him. Make it seem like an act of kindness you will do to reciprocate the person in question.
Step 6. Play the victim
Being a victim is a perfect technique to get what you want, just don't overdo it. It should be used infrequently, but it will go straight to your victim's heart if used in the right way. Act like you are a fantastic and selfless person, and all the evil in the world has suddenly fallen on you.
- Be silly. Try saying "I don't really know where I keep going wrong." Try to sound as confused as possible, as if you really don't understand why everything is going wrong with you.
- Try saying "Okay, I'm used to it". You make people feel guilty, as if you are surrounded by people who never help you.
- Be pathetic. If your friend doesn't want to give you a ride across town, tell him "Okay. I'll walk. A little exercise won't hurt me."
Step 7. Use logic
For the rational people in your life, logic is a great persuasive technique. Arrive armed with at least three reasons why the thing you want will not only benefit you, but the person you're asking for it as well. Speak calmly and rationally as you present the case and don't lose patience. To succeed with a rational person, you have to keep your emotions out of the game or you won't get what you want.
Act like it's the only logical thing to do. Make the person feel ridiculous for not seeing them in the same way without saying it openly
Step 8. Don't get out of character
Whichever method you use, if your friend, colleague, or boyfriend catches you and accuses you of manipulating him or pretending to be sadder than you are, always deny it. Instead, pretend to be even more hurt and say, "I can't believe you can even think of that," which will make your victim feel even more guilty and sorry for you.
If you admit to using manipulative tactics, it will be very difficult to manipulate the same person again
Part 3 of 3: Manipulating Anyone in Your Life
Step 1. Manipulating friends
Manipulating friends can be risky because they know you well enough to know when you bluff if your manipulative skills are no longer honed. But don't worry, you can still get what you want. First of all, you need to work your victim. The week before you ask her a big favor, be nice, do her little favors, and remind her she's a great friend. Do whatever it takes to become the ideal friend, without overdoing it.
- Use your emotions. Your friends love you, and they don't want to see you sad. Use what you learned in acting class to look sadder than you are.
- Remind your friend that you are a fabulous friend. Prepare examples of times you've done fabulous things in the name of your friendship.
- Leverage guilt. You don't have to play the "bad friend" card, but you can casually mention occasions when the person in question has let you down. Make it sound like you're used to this callous attitude without being too accusatory.
Step 2. Manipulating your better half
Manipulating your partner to get what you want shouldn't be difficult. The most obvious thing to do is turn him on and then ask him for the favor, letting him know that you won't have sex if he doesn't give you what you want. But if you don't want to use this extreme method, there are fun subtler techniques to manipulate it.
Whichever approach you choose to use, try to be sexy when you make your request. You'll have a better chance of getting what you want if your boyfriend sees how cute or sexy you are
Step 3. The ease with which you can manipulate a person depends on the impression they have of you
Try to be quick and flexible about the image you project.
- Use your emotions. Does your boyfriend not like to see you cry or very sad? Of course not.
- If you really want to get what you want, use the public whining technique. Just like a parent gives in when a child makes a scene in public, your boyfriend will do the same if you start crying around people. Don't use this technique too often, though.
- Use small "wads". If you want your boyfriend to take you on a romantic picnic, offer to go to the soccer game with him the next day. Then this could turn from manipulation to ordinary compromise.
Step 4. Manipulating your boss
Use a logical and rational approach with your boss, it will work best. If you show up in his office crying about your personal problems, you are more likely to quit and not give you what you want. Instead, be logical and purposeful, giving him concrete reasons why he should please you.
- Try to be a model employee the week before making your application. Work overtime, always smile and maybe bring croissants or pastries in the morning "for no reason".
- Ask casually. Express your request as if it were not a great thing, and propose it calmly instead of starting with: "There is one very important thing I would like to ask you." This way he will understand that what you ask for is really important to you.
- Try to ask him at the end of the day or during a break. Don't tell him about it at the start of the day, when he's stressed out because he thinks about all the work he has to do. Instead, ask him when he is about to go to lunch or home at the end of the day - you have a better chance that he will give you what you want so as not to waste time discussing it.
Step 5. Manipulating your teacher
To manipulate your teacher, you need to mix professionalism with a hint of emotion. The day you apply, try to be a model student. Get to class early, show you've done your homework, and actively participate in class activities.
- Tell him how fabulous he is without flattering him too much. Try saying how inspiring it is for you or how much you like the subject it teaches.
- Let him believe that "a lot of things are happening at home". This will make everything very strange and your teacher will feel sorry for you without wanting to know more.
- As you continue to talk about your private life, wait until your teacher is uncomfortable and offer you a waiver for the delivery of a report or even to be able to do it again. If it doesn't happen, start in the negative. Try saying "I know he usually doesn't give exceptions …" and muffle your voice as you get tinged eyes and you lose your gaze out the window.
- If that doesn't work either, aim for drama. Start crying while remaining vague about the "things that are happening at home" and wait until your teacher is so uncomfortable that you have no choice but to give you what you want.
Step 6. Manipulating your parents
Your parents theoretically love you unconditionally and therefore are sometimes easier to manipulate. If you have a foundation of love and support, then all you need to do is be a model child for a while before making your request. Respect the curfew, study, and help as much as you can around the house. Then, go on the attack.
- Make your request as if it were absolutely reasonable. If you want to go to a concert but there is school the next day, ask casually instead of having them sit around a table and have a big talk. It must seem like it's almost impossible for them to say no to you.
- You can also ask for it while you are folding laundry or doing the dishes. This will remind your parents that they have a really great daughter or son.
- Talk about how all your friends are going to do this, and that their parents have no complaints. But don't make a fuss of it.
- Make them feel guilty. If you wanted to go to a concert, just say "It's not a problem. I'll ask my friends to get me a shirt or something after the concert". Make them feel like they are preventing you from having an important social event or other type of experience. Don't say "You are ruining my life!" If you play your cards right, they will come to this conclusion on their own.
