If luck does not smile at you, you can take back your destiny, whoever you are, the important thing is to commit yourself. No one ever said it was easy, but if you put a plan in place to correct past mistakes and go out of your way to live as you wish, you are on the right path to becoming the person you always wanted to be, despite adversity. Do not be thrown to the ground by those who do not believe in you and do not think that it is impossible to be successful, from whatever situation you start. If in doubt, remember that there is a chance for redemption for everyone. Keep reading this article to get on the right track and turn your life around.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Develop a Shooting Plan
Step 1. Face adversity
Write down any situations that have gone wrong so you can see them clearly with your own eyes. Be honest about what happened instead of making excuses. For some people, it is more difficult to cope with things that are out of their control than things that come about simply by putting off or making bad decisions. Other people find it more difficult to accept that it has gotten worse or caused a problem. In any case, to take back the reins of your life, you need to understand that this step is necessary.
Of course, don't blame yourself for all the blame. For example, you can fall into the tunnel of drug addiction or mistreat your partner, but you can also grow up in an unfavorable environment or be a simple victim of bad luck. Don't blame yourself for things you can't control, learn to accept and deal with adversity instead of using it to justify the situation you're currently in
Step 2. Treasure adversity
Even if it was just bad luck, there are ways to cushion the blow if you ever find yourself in the same situation. If you failed an exam, what was the problem? Did you get distracted or did you not study enough? Did you study a lot, but in front of the teacher you got stuck and forgot everything because of anxiety? Have you been absorbed in personal problems, such as the end of a relationship that lasted years?
Ask yourself the following questions without judging the answers. Don't make excuses to blame other people - forget it. Assuming it's actually someone else's fault, consider this scenario last, and if so, reevaluate your priorities and relationship with that individual. Is a friend, parent or partner constantly distracting you while you study because they demand your attention? How can you defend your spaces to prevent it from happening again the next time you have an exam?
Step 3. Ask yourself if you need to reconsider your goals
Although it seems like an extraordinary measure, before planning an overall renewal of your life, you may want to review the path to follow. For example, does college help you pursue the career that would make you happy? Wouldn't it be better to have a shorter and more specific training course, an apprenticeship or a technical school? If you are a physically active person and are happy when you get tangible results, then an intellectual job or a job behind a desk is probably not a good choice. Rather, opt for something in the world of construction, electricity, plant installation, plumbing, automotive, or forestry.
Change your approach. To redeem yourself from the past, you have to change course by letting go of the things that didn't work out. Life is a continuous testing ground studded with successes and errors (not irremediable failures). This means that failed attempts are only attempts - for example, choosing a faculty that wasn't right for you. If you study law because you are passionate about politics, you can engage in civic activism, prepare yourself in the field of campaigning consultancy or commit to passing bills on the causes you care about most. These are all choices that can help you achieve your goals over time
Step 4. Ask yourself what remedies you can find
What changes can you make in your life to decrease the risk of suffering the negative effects of adversity again? If you've been the victim of a natural disaster, you can guard yourself with emergency supplies in case it happens a second time. If you've lost your job or your relationship has come to an end, figure out what to do to prevent it from happening again when you find another job or girlfriend.
Maybe it all went wrong because someone or something was rowing against you. Do a careful evaluation of your relationships and try to understand if you have friendships or toxic relationships that are preventing you from becoming the person you want to be. In this case, you should cut the bridges
Step 5. Establish your priorities and choose your goals
Once you understand what went wrong and why, you need to start outlining a plan to take back the reins of your life. However, it doesn't have to be final. It can change as you go because you will encounter obstacles, but you will also experience happy moments and have opportunities that you did not expect, whatever your direction. If you know what you want and understand roughly how to get it, you will have less difficulty setting short-term goals to achieve your goal.
- Don't worry if you don't have a perfect ten-step plan for becoming a successful person. It is harder to find direction from vague goals such as "discovering my true calling" or "loving myself more". Just start by putting in place some measures that can improve the situation. As you progress, you will better understand what to do to stand out.
- The most important thing is to get to work. While the saying that "facts matter more than words" seems commonplace, it is absolutely true. You can repeat like a broken record that you want to take back your destiny, but until you take the first step, what you say will have no meaning.
Step 6. Confide in a friend or family member who can support you
It is preferable to choose someone who has nothing to do with the bad situation you have been through. You should contact those who have faced a similar problem. For example, if you risk failing school, you may recover by comparing yourself with older students who have encountered the same difficulties as you and listening to their strategies. If you've ended a relationship, find out what others think about the way you and your ex behaved - they might surprise you. Maybe your friends noticed a problem before you even knew it.
- By talking to a person who loves you, you will be able to get back on track and receive great advice.
- By consulting with other people, you will be more stimulated to carry out your recovery plan. If you actually tell what you intend to do, you will be more likely to commit because you will want to keep your word. That way, if you throw in the towel, you'll think you're letting yourself down and those who love you.
Step 7. Make decisions
They should come naturally if you've followed the previous steps so far. Try to respect what you have established, such as studying in the evening instead of going out. Sometimes goodwill is enough for a project to work. Other times, however, you have to restructure your entire existence to carry out what you have decided. If you close Whatsapp before studying, you will not be absorbed in long conversations with friends. Modulate your recovery plan in small steps. You won't change overnight, but small and substantial progress will lead you to success.
One of the best ways to build willpower is to give each success a small, albeit unimportant, reward. Mark on the calendar every time you sit at your desk and open your books to study. Tracking progress with small and frequent rewards is one of the most effective ways to accomplish something. Think about how a video game is structured, or the cadence with which a player gets points thanks to the effort and time he has spent. If you organize your rewards inspired by your favorite game, this strategy could help you change your habits
Step 8. Give up bad habits
Every bad habit stems from a real reason. Understanding the needs and desires on which it is based is the key to turning it into a good habit. Video games are more emotionally rewarding than studying because they offer numerous rewards: points, prizes, etc. A scoreboard that you update every time you study and that helps you determine easier rewards than a video game is a tool that allows you to counterbalance the problem. If you eat too much to comfort yourself and get fat, think of other things that will calm you down and use them instead of food.
Every bad habit satisfies a real need, so your job is to figure out how to satisfy that need without harming yourself or someone else. By doing so, you can achieve your goals instead of being left behind
Step 9. Find people who can support you along the way
True parents and friends are always on your side. However, remember not to talk to whoever put you in this situation. Do not give time and attention to those who put a spoke in the wheel. If you take it out on these people, you're just wasting energy. It is better to use them to demonstrate what you are capable of than to argue. So, every time you achieve something you set out to do, explain to those who were stopping you from moving forward how good you are at the idea of always improving.
Of course, you will encounter some obstacles along the way. It's normal. This is why you should have someone to tell your plans to, in times of good and bad
Step 10. Stand tall and don't believe people who question your efforts
You can do it. Only you are able to take back your destiny. You've been successful so far, so you know you can do it again. The more honest you are with yourself, the easier it will be to continue in the right direction, that is the one that makes you feel good: when the sacrifices are supported by a real passion, the path is much more pleasant even if you have no goal to achieve.
Try to enjoy the ride while trying to achieve your goals. It is not a battle, but an exciting adventure, full of ups and downs. Eventually, though, it takes you to your rightful place
Part 2 of 2: Be Strong
Step 1. Try to have a positive attitude
When you want to win back your destiny, you have to keep your optimism without ever losing your energy. While it seems impossible - especially when you come from a very difficult background - the likelihood of getting what you want is higher if you face each day with a smile on your face instead of getting depressed or crying. Instead of complaining, try to see the glass half full and keep in mind all the things you can't wait to do. Even if it is healthy to let off steam from time to time, thinking only of the negative aspects of life, you will find it harder to overcome them.
The company of optimistic and cheerful people will help you have a positive attitude. If, on the other hand, you surround yourself with people who see the worst everywhere, you will be more likely to behave in the same way
Step 2. Fuel your self-esteem
Of course, it is easy to lose heart when you have to restructure your entire existence, so in these cases do not forget your strengths and avoid dwelling only on the aspects to change. While it is important that you recognize your flaws and work on the areas that can be improved, you must not lose sight of the factors that boost your self-esteem and the qualities that make you a great person. Make a list of your best features, including the areas where you excel. Try to continually enrich this list with words and actions.
- To fuel your self-esteem, you should apply yourself to the things you do well. Nothing makes you feel better than excelling at the activities you put your effort into.
- If on the one hand the process that leads you to develop a real confidence in yourself can be very long, on the other hand you have the possibility to simulate an attitude of safety even if you are not fully convinced of it. Stand with your back straight, keep your head up and look straight ahead instead of lowering your eyes. Keep your hands stretched out at your sides, trying to seize opportunities instead of withdrawing into yourself and shying away from the possibility of new relationships. The more you simulate self-confidence, the more you will believe in it.
Step 3. Be responsible
You must take responsibility for your actions and past mistakes that have brought you to where you are today. Once you recognize and accept your mistakes, you will be able to move on. If you continue to blame others for all your problems, it means that you are not aware that you have the necessary means to solve them. If, on the other hand, you admit your responsibility in the things that negatively characterize your life, you will also feel the creator of the successes and the most beautiful goals you will achieve.
Step 4. Try not to be too hard on yourself
While it is important to admit your responsibilities, it is equally important to treat yourself and forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes, so don't think you're a failure or a loser just because you took the wrong path. Be forgiving and understanding with yourself and you will see that it will be much easier to move on. If you tend to judge yourself inflexibly, it will be nearly impossible to fuel self-confidence and positivity, and this approach will prevent you from achieving your goals.
To question oneself does not mean to blame oneself. Constructive criticism is useful because it allows you to understand what you do and see how you do it. They help you solve problems. To blame oneself, on the other hand, means to torture oneself unnecessarily. You are already suffering, and this attitude will not push you to change direction. By instilling guilt in yourself or others, you feed a vicious circle in which the pattern repeats itself. If a problem arises more than once, ask yourself where it comes from
Step 5. Apologize to the people you hurt
It is important to make up for past mistakes before moving forward. Think back to the people you hurt or were wronged by you at your worst times. Try to apologize, either in person or by writing a letter. Explain that you are truly sorry for what happened. They may not completely absolve you or they may question a real change on your part until you prove otherwise, but in any case it is a gesture you must take to improve.
It will be more difficult to move on if you allow yourself to be overwhelmed by guilt for the harm inflicted on others. While it's hard to forget the past, apologizing to the people you hurt is a step in the right direction that will make you stronger
Step 6. Offer your help
You may think it's the last thing you're capable of because you can barely get your life back in order. If, however, you feel ready to get up and take back your destiny, stop for a moment and help those in difficulty. It could be a friend who has more problems than you, a neighbor suffering from loneliness, or even a person who can't get a jar from a high shelf at the supermarket.
Helping others is not only a gesture that could affect people's lives, but it also allows you to understand that you have a lot to offer the world
Step 7. Reflect on what you have lost
You will need some courage at first, but the freedom that comes with it is enormous. By reflecting on what you have lost, you begin to value the most important things in life because you tend to be honest with yourself. It is a very powerful attitude that also pushes you to take care of your needs. Finally, it allows you to get back on the right path.
Advice
- Remember that everyone can make mistakes. For example, Einstein was expelled from school!
- You will have difficult days, but treasure them.
- What does not kill you makes you stronger.
- Watch inspirational movies. For example, "Holes in the desert" can make you believe that anything is possible.
